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Make A New Plan, Stan

By Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

The year was 1975, and Paul Simon had a hit song on his hands. The song was “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover.”I know…not exactly the uplifting type of song to remember. Making fun of the lyrics, I used to try and make up new lines to the song. Well, it dawned on me that maybe there are a number of ways individuals can leave behind the things that keep them stuck: anxiety, self-sabotage patterns around money, parenting, or relating. Here are a few things that came to mind.

Slip out the back, Jack

A tendency I see in some is to avoid facing that there is a problem…a problem that continues to set them up to be deflated, discouraged, and overwhelmed. We keep “slipping out the back.”Yet, leaving the situation will not help in the long term. With the Lord’s promise to never leave or forsake us, we will make it through the difficulty. Face the facts head-on with the Lord standing right beside you. Awfulize the situation if you must, but it’s really not necessary. Just admit the problem is there. Then, on to the next step!

Make a new plan, Stan

If one is going to build, speak or act in a new way, one needs a plan. But to develop a plan, we must be willing to place ourselves in front of those who have succeeded. We need friends, pastors, classes, counsel, and the Word of God to show us what the healing process may look like. This may mean identifying triggers, core assumptions, and holding ourselves accountable as we put into action the new choices. This may be, and often is, more difficult than we initially anticipate. Remember, God’s plan is thorough, and His healing process complete.

Hop on the bus, Gus

Once we have a greater understanding of our plan, we can get on the new bus and head in the plan’s direction. It is important to stay connected with those who are a part of your support system while continuously letting Jesus into your core beliefs and behaviors. Allow His Word to convict, comfort, and encourage you. God is not a slave driver! He is a loving father who wants you to thrive while you drive, becoming all He designed you to be.

Drop off the key, Lee

For some, there may be a key event or events that lay at the core of the difficulty you are facing. These need a special touch from the love of God. When God reveals these to you, please invite His healing presence into the moment, allowing His love to comfort you as you grieve. Then go forward with the renewing strength of His presence.

Set yourself free!

Remember, we are all more than conquerors through Christ who gives us strength. No matter how many times you slip and fall, what matters is getting up and continuing to walk forward. May the Lord bless you as you continue on to face your “stuck-ness”and move forward into the freedom God has for you!

Compliments of Practical Family Living, Inc.

P.O. Box 1676, Appleton, WI 54912 (920) 720-8920

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