> Practical Family Living

Deprivation and Anger

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Feelings of anger often cover many different primary emotions: hurt, confusion, fear, and rejection. Deprivation, often based in fear, is a part of life. Placing our confidence in the Lord's availability may not reduce deprivation but can help increase our ability to be comforted.

Traumatic Loss and Uncommon Grace

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Utilizes truths gleaned from the story of the Good Samaritan to help families cope with traumatic loss.

Childlike Needs in Adult Losses

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Author's experience of a brother dying of AIDS portrays how Christ brings commfort through filling unmet childhood needs.

Redeeming Our Life Stories: Narrative Family Therapy

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Our lifetime experiences can have positive and negative impacts on us. Narrative Family Therapy can be a tool in allowing Christ's redemptive love, and other positive stories of our lives, to "re-author" our painful past.

Transitions and Change: A Tribute to Mr. Fred Rogers

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Changes in life can bring grief, stress, and a longing for the past. Article uses lessons learned from The Mister Rogers Show to show ways to lessen the trauma around transition.

Depression in the Soul: Five Steps to Freedom

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Depression can distort and inhibit God's true plan for our lives. Article suggests five steps to bring restorative thinking and behaviors that battle sadness, low self-esteem, and hopelessness.

Trusting God in Trials and Sorrow

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Article depicts, through a teenager's story, how Christ will not delay his provision, safety, strength, and love when we endure trials and suffering.

Easter Clothes: Throwing Off Cloaks of Unforgiveness

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Forgiveness brings emotional and spiritual healing. Using Biblical references to Palm Sunday and Easter, and a story from Corrie Ten Boom, this article shows how the old "clothes" or habits around unforgiveness hamper our freedom and joy.

Family Systems and Generational Bondage

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Article describes how past generational patterns can influence current family functioning, and how God can equip us in healthy family functioning.

Grief and Changes

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Change within a family life cycle can bring feelings of grief and loss. Article lists six ways to weather the storms of family changes.

Marching On

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Article shows how God can encourage and strengthen us when facing fatigue and discouragement in challenging situations.

Lord Emmanuel

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Article describes in poetic form how God will dwell with us ande not forsake us in uncertain or tragic times.

Bread of Bethlehem

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Family and the sharing of communion is the backdrop of this article, which explores how to receive life-giving and healing attributes of God during the Christmas season.

God's Forgiveness

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

God's forgiveness is complete. He moves us from shame and guilt to being set free.

Family Roles: Assigned and Assumed

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

The powerful impact of family role assignments and assumptions

Marriage Relationships: Strengthening the Bond thru God's Love

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

A couple's journey from blaming each other to helping each other

How to Stop Bullying

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Helpful suggestions and step by step plan to end bullying

For Shame, For Shame: How to End Shaming When Disciplining

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

The power and influence of parents is great; keeping the parent-child relationship in its proper place

Overcoming the Role of Family Hero

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

A vignette portraying common characteristics of the family hero

God's Presence in the Midst of Suffering

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Moving account of experiencing God's presence in the midst of horrendous suffering

Addictions: Many Forms But Never Satisfying

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Addictions cannot satisfy our needs but only serve to destroy joy and peace. God desires more for us!

Perfectionism: A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Perfectionism is harsh and demanding. However,the Lord does not require it.

Healing at Christmas

Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC

This article describes the decisions we all have when entering the holidays. We can choose to stop "the war" in our relationships, to enter a time of peace.

Acute Stress

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Acute stress is the initial concentrated exposure to a traumatic event or events. Acute stressors might be a war, being robbed, experiencing excessive cruelty, a natural disaster, viewing human mutilation, etc. What happens to our bodies in acute stress is that the unexpected events put the body in a type of strain. After being exposed to trauma, the sense of feeling safe is hard to regain.

Clearly Wrong: Bad Behavior and What To Do About It

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

How do we reside in the place of love when we fail in our behavior with others. There are times when each of us engages in bad behavior: Behavior we do not find acceptable to God or ourselves. What do we do when we are wrong in our behavior? This article provides answers; a "how to" in moving from bad behavior to a better "place," a forgiven place, a place of reconciliation with God and ourselves.

Because God Loves Me: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

God's love made personal

Is My Husband in Male Menopause?

Daniel Lange, M.S.W., LCSW

Male menopause is similar to menopause in women

Replenishing on Busy Days

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

All of us lose track of doing the basics things we need to do in order to stay "in a good place" physically, emotionally and spiritually. Holiday times and special occasions are times we feel especially stressed. Listed in this article are ways in which we can replenish our spirits as well as our bodies.

When Parents Fight

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Children develop their sense of belonging and sense of security from their relationships with their parents. When there is on-going animosity between the parents, it is difficult for children to feel safe and to attach to both parents.

When A Father Dies - Preparing For The Holidays

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

The death of a family member creates a kind of stress that one does not understand until they experience the loss themselves. Add the holidays to this and the multiple levels of grief increase. There are a few basic truths that become real in the face of such a loss around the holidays. This article, written to encourage as well as remind us of these truths, utilizes the author's own personal experience to bring the reality of what it means to celebrate living in the face of grief.

Facing the Holidays Together

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Each year numerous couples and families struggle to keep pace with the expectations placed upon them from various sources. Keeping extended family, friends, and each other happy requires great skill around negotiation, self-awareness, and the provision of flexibility. This article outlines several guidelines to be aware of as the festivities are rushing in to eat up your time and energy.

On-Line Gaming: How Much is too Much?

Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC

Article explores the explosion of the online gaming industry and the tough decisions parents have to make about hours spent gaming. In it is a set of signs that identify if there is a problem or even an addiction present.

Working Hard To Be Liked

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

People pleasers work very hard to be liked and crave love and acceptance from others at the cost of their own identity. The real person can become lost in the daze of perceived expectations. But there is good news.

Suicide Prevention: Making the Connection

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Suicide is a very complex subject and is usually not about death at all but rather about wanting to stop the pain. The vast majority of the time, those who are thinking about suicide do give verbal and/ or behavioral warning signs particularly in the last week before the attempt. By knowing the warning signs, loved ones can intervene and provide support. This article lists many verbal and behavioral warning signs of suicide and provides questions to ask if you suspect a loved one may be suicidal.

Powerful Dads and Pretty Daughters

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Dads have a tremendous amount of influence in the lives of their daughters. This article outlines the ways in which Dads make a powerful impact both positively and negatively.

Moms' To Do List

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Moms are good at taking care of their loved ones but often do not take time for themselves. This article offers encouragement to moms to care for their needs and discusses ways moms can be proactive by nurturing their minds, bodies and spirits.

Adolescent Girls Battling Eating Disorders

Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC

This article explores the effects of adolescent female eating disorders on the individual and the family. It also gives options for getting help.

Twenty Something

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

The twenties can be described as a time of great transitions. In this article, Christine outlines common struggles of young adults and provides helpful suggestions for parents and loved ones.

God's Christmas List

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

If we find ourselves overwhelmed, anxious, lonely or fearful during this Christmas season, we can take heart and reflect on God’s love. God has made all the necessary preparations for Christmas.

Coping With Holiday Grief

Compiled by Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

There is no time of year more difficult than the holidays when a loved one has died. Nothing feels the same nor will it feel the same again. Listed here are only a few helps that may make the holidays a bit more tolerable.

Helping Ourselves through the Holidays

Holidays challenge us on every level: emotionally with the memories of family or stressors of getting together, physically because there seem to be so many more activities and details to attend to, spiritually we are stretched thin between honoring our faith and all the demands we face. This handout is designed with those stressors in mind. The ideas suggested are just that...suggestions. Underneath it all we trust each will find ways to care for themselves as God would have.

Facebook, Teens, and Depression

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Some teens look to Facebook and other social media to determine their self worth. They do this by comparing their numbers of friends, pictures, and entries on the site with others. The term for the downward spiral of self worth this inspires in some "Facebook Depression." This article briefly examines the phenomenon and provides helpful suggestions to direct young people toward more healthy thinking.

The Excitement and Challenge of Beginning School

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Beginning school can be exciting and challenging for children and parents alike. In this article, Christine Vander Wielen provides parents with helpful guidelines to,, make the transition smoother for themselves and their children.

Controlling the Chaos

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

For stepfamilies, the stress of the holiday season can be compounded. With patience and grace, the holiday season can be enjoyable. In this article, tips for stepfamilies to navigate the holiday season are shared.

Trauma: Caring for Ourselves

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Each of us experiences situations and events that run the risk of leaving us traumatized. Traumatic events may not be completely avoidable. Yet if we find ourselves on the backside of a traumatic event there are some specific things we can implement to help ourselves through the resulting emotional upheaval. This article outlines each of those helps and, surprisingly, they sound familiar.

Overcoming Self-sabotaging Behaviors

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

While we are all capable of self-sabotage, some individuals are more vulnerable to self-defeating behavior. It is possible to work through the tendency of self-defeating behavior. Half the battle is already won when individuals become aware of their self-destructive behavior. This article will outline a plan to overcome self-sabotaging behavior.

Tears In My Ears: A Conversation of Failure and Honesty

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Failure and loss is hard. This article describes how to get through the difficult times after defeat.

Don't Be Ruled by Anger, Bitterness or Resentment

Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC

What’s ruling you? Anger, bitterness, and resentment are hard emotions to deal with. They often manifest in many different ways in our lives, including outbursts of anger, passive-aggressiveness, depression, and through other harmful avenues. Do a heart check today and ask God to reveal any hidden mad, sad, bad emotions today and ask Him for help to forgive and let go. If you’re unsure about forgiveness check out the book Forgiveness is a Choice by Dr. Robert Enright or call the Center for Family Healing at (920) 720-8872 for more information on forgiveness therapy groups or individual counseling.

Resilience: How to Bend and Not Break

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Resilience is a trait we want. Things happen in life that are hard. This article shares and guides us to healthy traits of coming back from life¹s trials. Many very helpful things are presented a sample of which are; being tough but tender toward one¹s recovery, not taking on suffering as identity, and seeking help when necessary.

Righteous Anger

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry Ephesians 4:26 (NIV) Anger is one of the most uncomfortable emotions that we all experience from time to time. Some of us are easily angered; whereas, others are slow to anger. For some, anger is expressed outwardly and for others anger is turned inward, leading to depression. The Bible is filled with verses that instruct us on handling our anger. Although anger is a God given emotion, our anger can be righteous or unrighteous. Righteous anger stems out of experiencing an injustice, being sinned against or when God is being mocked. For example, in the gospel of John, we learn that Jesus turned the tables over of the money changers because God’s house had been turned into a den of robbers. Another example of righteous anger is when someone is falsely accused of wrong doing. When we experience righteous anger, we are to bring our thoughts and feelings to The Lord and trust that He will make things right in His way and in His time. Scripture is clear that we are not to seek revenge or to retaliate. Unrighteous anger is self focused and prideful. It is anger that stems from not getting what we want, when we want or how we want. An example of unrighteous anger from the Old Testament is when King Saul was jealous that the Israelites were praising David for his military conquests. King Saul was not receiving the accolades that he wanted and thought were his due. A modern example of unrighteous anger is road rage, when we cannot get where we want, when we want to go. When we experience unrighteous anger, we need to first seek out The Lord and repent for our thoughts and attitudes and ask Him for a renewing of our heart and mind. Regardless of whether our anger is righteous or unrighteous, we are to seek out The Lord for guidance and wisdom as to how to handle our anger so that in our anger we do not sin. We are also to go to Him right away so that the sun does not go down on our anger. If anger, even righteous anger, is allowed to fester it can become unrighteous anger.