Clearly Wrong: Bad Behavior and What To Do About It
- Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
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Have you ever been in a situation where, like the lady in the commercial of long ago, you have fallen and you can't get up?
Only, in the instance I am talking of, it is not physical falling. The type of falling I am speaking of is the falling of mood, attitude, or perhaps the failure to desire to do well to yourself or a member of the family. We could go on to discuss depression and discouragement as causes, which would be entirely appropriate and probably right to the heart of this subject of mood. However, in this case, I am writing about how to "get up" or recover in a spiritual sense.
A sure way to get up from a down mood is to admit that you are wrong. Clearly wrong. I am not talking about blaming yourself for a chemical imbalance or for being depressed; I am talking about separating deeds from the condition. Ask God for forgiveness and help concerning deeds done while in a dark place. Admit to God, yourself, and, when appropriate, others involved, that you are in need of their forgiveness if you have "done them wrong."
"You ARE loved by God whether you feel it, have hurt others, or not. This is not in question.
Being "down" sometimes sends us on the road of being unable to love and be loved (receive love). We all need God's help to right this wrong. If the cycle of not being able to be positive or to love continues, get help. You may have a mood disorder that needs help from a mental health professional, a physician, or an on-going recovery group.
The single most important ingredient to recover from bad behavior is to confess it to God. After confession, stay current with God about your need for His "go power." The Holy Spirit is able to give the 'go power' to do the 1st Corinthians 13 way of loving. "Doing" the following is not humanly possible in a consistent way with out God's help.
Love has certain behaviors.
- Love suffers long. Love is kind. Love is not jealous. Love is not boastful. Love is not proud. Love is not rude. Love is not self-seeking. Love is not irritable. Love does not keep records of wrong. Love does not rejoice in evil. Love rejoices in the truth.
- Love never fails.
How the dynamics of marital/familial/committed love develop.
There has to be a desire to love. There has to be a decision to love.
There has to be a dedication to love.
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