> Practical Family Living

The Process of Individual Growth

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

The metaphor of how plants grow provides for us a picture for our own individual process. Growing in understanding of this process and God's involvememnt aids in our ability to remain faithful to the journey.

Honesty

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Deciding to be honest is only the beginning of living an honest life. c onsciously choosing to not deceive is an ongoing journey that challenges the reality of who we are and where belonging begins.

Allowing Grief

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Resisting the existence of grief robs us of the comfort available in our relationship with the Lord. A brief example of one girl's grief is shared.

Christmas: God's Sacred Covenant

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Using the analogy of a love story, this brief passage describes the tenderness of God's love for each one of us. The holiday of Christmas is especially noted as it is a special time to celebrate the gift of God's commitment to us.

The Illness of Hanging On

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

There are particular dynamics that keep us from moving forward in the healing process. Our insistence in hanging onto assumptions, should's and have to's block our ability to receive the power to live as we trust in God's strength.

Self Sabatoge and Secret Affections

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

In the recovery process, a new kind of honesty is needed to become all that God would have. This article takes a look at one way in which honesty can be helpful in the healing of our ability to relate as God would have us to.

Rules, Rigidity and Responsibility

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

This candid look at self care outlines the way rules promote rigidty of thought. When rigid in our thinking we turn away from the grace and love of God. Turning away leads to a very lonely existence.

Changing Our Christmas Perspectives

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Article uses an analogy from the Old Testament to teach how Christmas can be an opportunity to turn from fear and sin, to the joy, holiness, and wonder of Christ.

God's Forgiveness

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

God's forgiveness is complete. He moves us from shame and guilt to being set free.

Blame: A Block to Healing

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Life hurts sometimes. With the hurt we can look for a person to blame. When we project blame toward others we are really saying they are responsible for our failures. If others are responsible for our failures, do they then get credit for our success? Find ways in this article to combat the temptation to blame.

A Story of Getting Honest

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Being honest with yourself is the first step and straightest line to mental and spiritual health. This is a story about someone struggling with what the “supposed to” form of living produces, and applies to anyone who hides difficult feelings from themselves.

Moving From Shame To Respect

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Moving away from a sense of shame to self respect is very important to our mental and even physical health. Shame means to operate out of a "down deep" sense of not being good enough or that something is very wrong with us. This article gives great guidelines for healthy ways that combat a shame based way of living.

Addictive Patterns and Relationships

A "Dear Rosa" question and answer regarding the process of breaking free from addictive patterns in relationships

Serve Your Generation

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Meeting the challenge of any new year keeps us mindful of how we have opportunity to be all that God would have us be. A personal look into the life of one serving in the face of loss is described beautifully and challenges us to look at those around us in a new way.

Affliction and Fear

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

The healing process for each one of us requires ownership within ourselves of the behaviors and attitudes that often create our own daily battles. What has been discovered is that fear is often behind those patterns of thinking and acting. Scripture tells us that if we are afflicted we are to pray. Knowing what fears we face help us know where to begin in overcoming those core fears.

Don'ts For Parents and Enablers

Compiled by Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

There is tremendous difficulty for parents or spouses when their child or spouse becomes involved in the abuse of drugs, alcohol or addiction of any sort. This handout outlines how to clarify who is responsible for what and provides practical steps in approaching your child or spouse.

Suggestions For Clarity In Relationships

Author Unknown, Edited by Brenda Spina, M.S.,LMFT, LPC

This handout provides a list of specific response one can use when behavior in relationship becomes intrusive or offensive.

Mine, Mine, Mine: A Look at Greed

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Sometimes we humans are as selfish and greedy as a two-year-old. We try to obtain some illusive something by wanting more, more, more. Feeling cheated or deprived is one thing. Using money and power to feel better is another. Craving and greed need a healthy look and this article will help us do just that. In it is healthy food for thought and questions for you and you alone.

Feeling Crazy - The Effects of Addiction on the Family

Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC

This article describes the serious and debilitating effects of addiction on the family. Hopes for rehabilitation are addressed.

Tears In My Ears: A Conversation of Failure and Honesty

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Failure and loss is hard. This article describes how to get through the difficult times after defeat.

Reflections: Are You Lovable?

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Love relationships are a mirror. We learn how and if we are lovable only by our interactions with people we love. Young children don’t think about the overworked mother who is stressed or a raging father’s childhood, they simply attribute negative exchanges as a reflection of their unworthiness. As children who mature or as adult children of these relationships, it is important first to know that the relationship where you learned your lovability or lack of lovability is the faulty part, not you as a person. That, simply put, is the healing part of recovery. God is not mad at you. He loves you. When the mirror reflects God’s love toward you, it is possible for a love filled life.

Claim Your Land - Handout to Broadcasts 3554, 3555, 3556

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Claim Your Land Relationships Who has hurt you? How? Who are you holding a grudge against? Who are you jealous of and why? Who have you hurt? How did you hurt them? Who have you been critical of or gossiped about? Why? ‏How have you attempted to place the blame on someone else? Priorities in Life ‏What areas of your life have you turned over to the Lord? ‏In what areas are you not putting God first? ‏What in your past is keeping you from seeking and following God’s will for your life? Number the following: ____Career ____Family ____Church ____God ____Friendships ____Money ____Ministry/Volunteer What goals will you choose to focus on the next 90 days? Attitude What areas of your life are you thankful for? In the past, what things have you been ungrateful over? What causes you to lose your temper? To whom have you been sarcastic in the past? ‏What in your past are you still worried about? How has your attitude improved? Integrity ‏How have you exaggerated to make yourself look good? Does your walk match your talk at church, home, work, etc? In what areas have you used false humility to impress someone? Have any of your past business dealings been dishonest? Have you ever stolen things? Adapted from John Baker’s book, “Taking an Honest and Spiritual Inventory”, 1998