> Practical Family Living

The Look of God

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

The power of a look. When someone looks at another's face they see the inner thoughts or feelings of that person. What do people see when they look at our faces?

Teaching Children About Feelings

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Children need help in identifying what emotion they feel just as much as we do as adults. Here are some guidelines which are fun and a relaxing way to help your children learn what they may feel and when.

Attachment Wounds: Ten Steps That Heal

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Childhood story illustrating bonding and attachment wounds and ten steps for healing

Trusting God in Trials and Sorrow

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Article depicts, through a teenager's story, how Christ will not delay his provision, safety, strength, and love when we endure trials and suffering.

Teamwork in Tasks and Ministry

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Article describes seven principles to decrease stress through teamwork and delegation in ministry, family, or work-related tasks.

Teens and Anger

Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC

This article describes how easy it is for parents and teens to get into highly charged arguments and what important points to remember in order to resolve the battle.

Moving From Shame To Respect

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Moving away from a sense of shame to self respect is very important to our mental and even physical health. Shame means to operate out of a "down deep" sense of not being good enough or that something is very wrong with us. This article gives great guidelines for healthy ways that combat a shame based way of living.

Taking Care of Yourself Over Holidays After a Loss

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

After the death of a loved one, various holidays are difficult, especially Christmas. Here are specific ideas for moving through any holiday with gentleness toward yourself and your situation.

Helping the Discouraged

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Discouragement can leave us frightened and unmotivated with feelings of loneliness and hopelessness. Drawing from the biblical story of Elijah and an actual family therapy case, this article discusses five steps to helping an individual recover from discouragement.

Family and Self Care After Divorce

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

A look at the effects of divorce on adults and children and how to cope. This includes five very straightforward supportive directions for the adult raising kids after the divorce.

Using Mindfulness to Keep Relationships Healthy

Insights and tips are provided on how use mindfulness to be attentive to others feelings, as well as your own, in everyday experiences, to help strengthen your relationship.

Suggestions For Clarity In Relationships

Author Unknown, Edited by Brenda Spina, M.S.,LMFT, LPC

This handout provides a list of specific response one can use when behavior in relationship becomes intrusive or offensive.

Coping with Change at Christmas

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Change is often difficult for families, but changes during the Christmas season can be especially tough. Article looks at four practical and spiritual ways to manage changes: based on Mary, the mother of Jesus, and her response to the birth of our Savior.

Blended Families and Teens

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Blended families can be challenging for everyone, especially a teenager. Article describes these challenges and ways to help your teen navigate the ups and downs.

Twelve Years, Ten Lessons

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

An article of tribute and thanksgiving. As Mary Lambrecht follows God's call to Texas, she shares ten basic lessons learned in the therapy room and in ministry through The Center for Family Healing and Practical Family Living.

Don’t Argue With a Woman as You Would With a Man

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Six things to avoid when arguing with a woman. A valuable resource in how to negotiate the maze of arguing; especially with a woman. Because some things work better than others when arguing, these points will bring you success in walking out disagreements regardless of your gender.

Checklist for Viewing Social Media

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Have you ever compared yourself to what you are seeing online? Sometimes people have a lapse of reality when looking at posts on social media. Your young people may be specially affected by what they are seeing. Realities and discussion points to have with yourself or your youngster: *Be aware that people tend to post what’s positive (or dramatic) in their lives. It’s what they want others to see, rather than how their lives really are. *Realize you may hold some concepts or myths that need challenging such as the following: 1. Always/never thinking – Making generalizations in the negative, such as “I’m never invited to their gatherings.” 2. Focusing on the negative – Socially comparing ourselves in the negative, such as “How come my life is not as cool as hers?” 3. Thinking with your feelings – Believing your negative feelings to be real, such as “I feel lousy; I must be a loser.” 4. Beating ourselves up for not having what others have, such as “I’m a bad mom because I didn’t give my child a big birthday party like she did.” 5. Labeling – The tendency to negatively judge yourself or others, such as “He’s bragging on Facebook again!” 6. Personalizing – Believing other people’s postings are poor reflections on you, such as “She has more 'likes' for her Facebook comments than me - what’s wrong with me?”

Rejection Hurts

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Rejection hurts. It hurts physiologically (neurologically speaking) and it hurts our feelings. Reputable science confirms this. In fact our brains respond so similarly to rejection and physical pain that taking a Tylenol will reduce both the emotional impact of rejection in the same way it reduces physical pain. (Guy Winch, Ph.D., July, 2013) In short, regrouping with a person or persons who accept and love you unconditionally after rejection is conducive to major healing. Not talking rebound escapism here, but the kind of love and acceptance found similar to and in a non-toxic favorite grandmother’s home. It may take time, but it is in this context that rest and taking real stock of your lovability and worth happens.

Hardened

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

A hardened heart or mind does not happen overnight. It is nurtured, discussed, rehearsed, and even justified by well-meaning individuals. As understandable as mad, bad, sad feelings are, we have a responsibility to consider how we manage these feelings. Even Cain was warned by God to not let sin take root in his heart. He dismissed the warning (apparently). The result was being driven out of the Lord’s presence into the land of Nod; meaning unrest, wandering and exile. That is exactly what happens when we list all the reasons why we can remain jealous, resentful or punishing. Our hearts and minds live in a state of unrest and wandering. Watch for the signs! Change your course and live in rest.

When We Walk in Their Shoes: When is Enough?

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

There are many types of empathy. The sort that can momentarily feel another's concern and then step out to one's own perspective is best. A study sometime back showed that nurses who had the genuine empathy then stepping back type of ability performed best in a hospice setting. Those who stepped into the pain of the terminally ill's shoes and carried the other's concerns without stepping back, performed poorly. If you carry another person's pain without allowing room for knowing when to step in and out of that concern, you and your feelings may get in the way.

Men Often Feel Stuck

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Once in a while I try to count the men/couples I've worked with in the therapy room over the forty plus years of listening to them share their concerns. The total of men with whom I've spoken privately number in the many hundreds. I have to agree with Barbara Markway, PhD who writes the following: "Men are in a double-bind when it comes to expressing emotions. Although men may not always know what they're feeling, there's one thing they’re sure about: they’re convinced they’re in a major double bind. Women tell men to express their feelings, but when they do, women are often petrified, if not horrified. Women want men to show their feelings, but only certain feelings, and only in doses they can handle."

The Home Place

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

We long to belong. Where have we felt peace, acceptance and love? Often that "home" place is where we remember feeling comfortable and safe. God knows we long to feel these feelings and provides this safe place with Him.

Fight for Your Right

Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC

We own our feelings, thoughts and behaviors. We do not own the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of others. But what does this mean exactly?

Healing Thoughts

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

This week of Thanksgiving many have a myriad of feelings. When those feelings become uncomfortable, spread your arms wide to the Lord. Feel the feelings, learn from them, then release them to God. Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for our redemption. We don’t have to wait for some human person to come along and save us from our plight. Thank God for His unfailing love. Ask God for His healing oil to flow in over and through you exactly as you are. Have the courage it takes to be imperfect. Jesus came to heal the broken hearted and to set the captives free.

EQ: What Emotional Intelligence Is and How to Develop It

Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC

Emotional intelligence is integral to mental and relational health. Understanding emotions, their impact on individuals and relationships, and learning how to use this information sets us up for success in life.

Fully Awake

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Not one of us can feel all of our emotions all of the time. Defenses are necessary in order to survive some events. There will come a season when it is time to “wake up” feelings. The healing and growth process calls for honesty on all levels when the time is right. It’s hard to be fully awake and healed when we keep using things, people and habits to block our senses when it is time to grow and be healed.

Indicators or Dictators

Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC

Feelings are indicators, not dictators - Lysa TerKeurst She's right! We were given emotions for a reason. They give us information and connect us with others. They help us care for ourselves and tend to our relationships. But, too often we give them too much say in how we live. A strong feeling or urge does not need to dictate your thoughts and behaviors. It needs to be felt and cared for. Then, and only then, are you free to act.

Fully Awake

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Not one of us can feel all of our emotions all of the time. Defenses are necessary in order to survive some events. There will come a season when it is time to “wake up” the feelings. The healing/growth process calls for honesty on all levels. It’s hard to be fully awake when we keep using things to block our emotions.