Articles

10 Tips For Solving Problems

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Listed are ten simple yet challenging factors to remember when attempting to bring a difficult conversation to a calmer level. Both parties, working in this manner, may be able to move towards increased understanding of one another and look for ways to have both of you to have the things you value respected.

Anger, The "A" Word

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Anger is a word that creates great discomfort for many people. However, there are many reasons why anger can be a positive contribution to any relationships

Confrontation

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Confrontation is a difficult behavior to master yet crucial in our ability to build a sense of equality and respect in relationships. There are specific steps in preparing to confront that one can follow that help in creating the best possible outcome.

Good, Bad or Equal

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Each person in a family or group works at finding the way in which they are special. The process or, at times, battle for significance goes awry. God has perspective on what makes us all equal.

Learning to Fight Fair

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

All of us have times when we disagree or fight and fight dirty. There are helpful guidelines to fighting fair. They may be ideal but these guidelines promote the best possible atmosphere for you and for your loved ones.

Saying I'm Sorry

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Saying "I'm sorry." entail more than these two words. Examples in scripture outline what feeling sorry means and paints a word picture of our internal experience when feeling truly sorry.

Helpful Guidelines For Resolving Conflict

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., CAPSW

Conflict is normal and full of potential if we manage it skillfully

How to Stop Bullying

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., CAPSW

Helpful suggestions and step by step plan to end bullying

Stand Up For Yourself Without Putting Others Down

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., CAPSW

Two vignettes demonstrating how to stand up for yourself without putting others down

Easter Clothes: Throwing Off Cloaks of Unforgiveness

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Forgiveness brings emotional and spiritual healing. Using Biblical references to Palm Sunday and Easter, and a story from Corrie Ten Boom, this article shows how the old "clothes" or habits around unforgiveness hamper our freedom and joy.

Tearing Down the Wall Through Forgiveness

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., CAPSW

What forgiveness really is and how relationships can be restored

Clearly Wrong: Bad Behavior and What To Do About It

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

How do we reside in the place of love when we fail in our behavior with others. There are times when each of us engages in bad behavior: Behavior we do not find acceptable to God or ourselves. What do we do when we are wrong in our behavior? This article provides answers; a "how to" in moving from bad behavior to a better "place," a forgiven place, a place of reconciliation with God and ourselves.

Mocking In Families

A "Dear Rosa" question and answer regarding the shamed based communication and its impact on family members.

Trauma Happens To Competent Healthy People

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Trauma causes a reaction in people. That reaction is physical because the brain is signaling the body to do something. This is true with natural disasters like floods and tornadoes as well as fighting or past trauma in relationships. What this feels like and how this affects a marital relationship is discussed in this article as well as the beginnings of what to do.

Using Mindfulness to Keep Relationships Healthy

Whitney Stager, M.S.

Insights and tips are provided on how use mindfulness to be attentive to others feelings, as well as your own, in everyday experiences, to help strengthen your relationship.

Making Your Way Through Transition

Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC

This article describes the challenges we face when going through difficult life changes. It also gives a way of navigating through that difficult time.

Validation is Not Agreement

Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC

This article describes the difference between validating another person's communication and agreeing with it. Examples are given.

Broadcasts

Agreeing to Disagree #572

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

This program reminds us that each individual does not have the entire picture of a situation and how this needs to be remembered during a discussion.

Double Binds: Telling Others #612

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

The importance of expression of experience and feelings in these situations.

Learning How To Fight Fair #1 of 4, #689

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Conflict is never easy to get through. However, the nature of disagreements and arguments in marriage is important to understand. Listen and see what you can learn.

Learning How To Fight Fair #2 of 4, #690

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Yes, conflict does not have to end up abusive. Discussed today is setting a goal to find a solution.

Learning How To Fight Fair, #3 of 4, #691

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

A key to healthy conflict is taking responsibility for yourself, how you feel, how you think, and your ideas.

Learning How To Fight Fair #4 or 4, #692

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Let's take a look at understanding the reason why you are fighting and how does fighting fit in?

The Need To Win: A Look at Winning #1 of 4, #695

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

How do you feel when you think you might lose a fight? Join us as we take a look at our 'need' to win.

The Need To Win: What's It About? #2 of 4, #696

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

As we continue discussion, we discover underlying fears and assumptions that inhibit the resolution of conflict.

The Need To Win: God Overcomes It #3 of 4, #697

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Scripture outlines practical ways in which we can overcome the inner battles that keep us locked into the need to win.

The Need To Win: God's Way #4 of 4, #698

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Discouraged about your own competitiveness? Tune in and be encouraged! God has your best in mind.

False Assumptions: Love Knots #2 of 4, #1069

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Discussion of the love knots caused by subconscious assumptions continues. Specific love knots are presented.

Living Peaceably #1 of 2, #3009

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Living peaceably may not mean finding solutions as much as managing the differences that are between two people.

Living Peaceably #2 of 2, #3013

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Living peaceably may not mean finding solutions as much as managing differences that exist between two people.

Boundaries: Murder By Mouth #2 of 2, #2281

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Gossip can be destructive to any relationship and the trust needed to maintain a sense of connectedness. This program takes a look at gossip, its impact on the victim of gossip both at work and at home.

Why Men Pull Away #2 of 4, #2296

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

The age old discussion of gender differences arises once again. The differences in needs regarding communication is discussed along with possible factors that trigger men pulling away from women.

Great Love Equals Great Responsibility #3 of 5, #3029

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Blame can be destructive to any relationship. Seeing ourselves and others as God sees us is important in providing unity of purpose as well as avoiding division in the family of God.

Great Love Equals Great Responsibility #4 of 5, #3030

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

A continuation of the seven implications regarding our responsibility in relationships

Great Love Equals Great Responsibility #5 of 5, #3031

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

The last in a series of five programs regarding responsibility in relationships, a look is taken at the reality that certain aspects of the relationship may not change.

Good Words - Bad Words- How To Respond To Bad Words, #2155

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Nicknames, untrue statements, unfair labels imprint us, much like an object in playdough. This program aids in identifying our imprints as well as ways to resist those which are harmful. It is these things that lock out the truth of God's Word about who we are.

Why Men Pull Away #3 of 4, #2297

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

The age old discussion of gender differences rises once again. Discussed are the differences in needs for communication and possible triggers that cause men to pull away.

Why Men Pull Away #4 of 4, #2298

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

The age old discussion of gender differences rises once again. Lynda and Paul wrap up the series discussing possible triggers as to why men pull away from women.

Why Women Crash & Men Get Frustrated #2 of 3, #2300

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Ever get to the end of your "emotional rope"? Discussed here are some of the dynamics of what happens when women continue to be physically and emotionally overwhelmed.

Why Women Crash & Men Get Frustrated #3 of 4, #2301

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Ever get to the end of your "emotional rope"? Discussed here are some of the dynamics that happen when women continue to be physically and emotionally overwhelmed.

When Couples Fight #2 of 3, #2334

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

As you may know, negotiating contracts with each other is not always a peaceful process. Disagreements, whether overt or covert, can end up in diminishment of one another. Finding courage with the help of God to change the fighting cycle is crucial. God uses our arguments with others to change and grow us up.

When Couples Fight #1 of 3, #2333

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

As you may know, negotiating contracts with each other is not always a peaceful process. Whether we fight overly or covertly the tendency is to diminish one another. Finding courage with the help of God to change the fighting cycle is crucial. God uses our arguments with others to change and grow us up.

When Couples Fight #3 of 3, #2335

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

As you may know, negotiating contract with each other is not always a peaceful process. Whether it is overtly or covertly arguing, we tend to diminish one another. Finding Courage with the help of God to change the fighting cycle is crucial. God uses our arguments with others to change and grow us up.

There's A Tyrant In The House #1 of 2, #2347

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Conflict is not something easily understood yet is a natural part of our intimate relationships. Lynda and Brenda discuss the parts of our personality that come out when we're angry and tired. Specific helps are provided in learning to deal with these parts of our personality.

There's A Tyrant In The House #2 of 2, #2348

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Conflict, although a natural part of intimate relationships, is not always easy to make sense of. The parts of our personality that come out when we are angry or tired need help and care. Listen as these helps are discussed.

But I'm The Nice One #1 of 2, #2349

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

As you may know, there is a big difference between acting nice and being nice. Is it all an act? The nurturance of honesty in our inward parts with God's help is what will help us know.

But I'm The Nice One #2 of 2, #2350

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Being nice and acting nice are two different things. Being nice, at times, means being honest. Have you ever wondered what may happen when the nice one and the honest one connect?

Consequences of Comparing #1 of 2, #3022

Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC

What happens to relationships when we compare ourselves to each other? Comparing blocks our loving connections to each other. Also discussed are ways to combat this divisive behavior pattern.

Consequences of Comparing #2 of 2, #3023

Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC

What happens to relationships when we compare ourselves to each other? Comparing blocks our loving connections to each other. Also discussed are ways to combat this divisive behavior pattern.

Great Love Equals Great Responsibility #2 of 5, #3028

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Based on Philippians 2 this program takes a look at ways to be responsible for our own part in relationships and become more like Christ.

Handling Criticism #3071

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Sometimes criticism is helpful. Sometimes it is not. This program offers tips for handling criticism when it hurts and when it helps.

Forgive For Good #1 of 3, #3074

Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC

Using the story of the Prodigal Son, qualities of each character with in the story are explored.

Forgive For Good #2 of 3, #3075

Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC

Through the story of the Prodigal Son, you will see forgiveness towards others happens within ourselves. This process is a metaphor for how God forgives each of us.

Forgive For Good #3 of 3, #3076

Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC

Forgiving for good begins within ourselves. Metaphorically this process reveals how God forgives each one of us.

The Silent Treatment #3116

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

When people use emotional cut-off with each other, it is the beginning of the end of a relationships unless a reversal of this pattern is sought and practiced. Lynda and Paul discuss the ins and outs of "The Silent Treatment".

Releasing Others - Releasing Others #1 of 2, #2213

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

When we forigve, it is God's way of helping us to become free as well as allowing God to work on the person. If we don't forgive, we stay stuck.

Releasing Others - Canceling The Debt #2 of 2, #2214

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

This program discusses the three aspects of forgiveness and canceling the debt.

Humor and Humiliation #1 of 2, #3059

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Humor coupled with humiliation is one of the most accepted ways of having fun in today's world. When humor and humiliation are coupled together the result is a tearing down of the receiver.

Humor and Humiliation #2 of 2, #3060

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Humor and Humiliation- These programs take a look at how God views people who engage in this type of behavior. It also includes suggestions for those who may find themselves the brunt of this kind of humor.

Confrontation #1 of 3, #3066

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

The word confrontation can conjure up many different pictures in people's imagination. These programs cover a series of questions one can use in the preparation for confrontation as well as take a look at God's plan for the result in His confronting each of us.

Confrontation #2 of 3, #3067

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

The word confrontation can conjure up many different pictures in people's imagination. These programs cover a series of questions one can use in the preparation for confrontation as well as take a look at God's plan for the result in His confronting each of us.

Confrontation #3 of 3, #3068

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

However we picture confrontation, it really is an act of love. These programs cover a series of questions one can use in the preparation for confrontation as well as take a look at God's plan for the result in His confronting each of us.

The Silent Treatment: A Different Perspective, #3191

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Lynda Savage and Paul Cameron discuss better ways to work through the hurts which cause the "silent treatment."

Saying I'm Sorry #1 of 2, #3242

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

We are taught from an early age to say "I'm sorry." We may not initially understand what we are saying or the need for this expression. However, in these two programs, Brenda Spina and Paul Cameron discuss examples from Scripture that help us understand the importance of, the sides of, and the blessings of saying "I'm sorry."

Saying I'm Sorry #2 of 2, #3243

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

We are taught from an early age to say "I'm sorry." We may not initially understand what we are saying or the need for this expression. However, in these two programs, Brenda Spina and Paul Cameron discuss examples from Scripture that help us understand the importance of, the sides of, and the blessings of saying "I'm sorry."

Trauma and Triggers in Relationships: Conflicts Born in the Past #1 of 2, #3244

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Many bumps in the road of relationship turn into major clashes because of past trauma in the history of one or both people. Lynda and Paul discuss this pattern and how to recover peace and calm between the parties involved.

Trauma and Triggers in Relationships: Conflicts Born in the Past #2 of 2, #3245

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Many bumps in the road of relationships turn into major clashes because of past trauma in the history of one or both people. Lynda and Paul discuss this pattern and how to recover peace and calm between the parties involved.

Dealing With Disappointment #1of 2, #3149

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

In this two part series, Lynda Savage reviews steps to help yourself when feeling disappointed. The why of allowing yourself, including the physical aspects of your body, time to "settle down" is included in this discussion.

Dealing With Disappointment #2 of 2, #3150

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

In this two part series, Lynda Savage reviews steps to help yourself when feeling disappointed. The why of allowing yourself, including the physical aspects of your body, time to "settle down" is included in this discussion.