Articles
10 Tips For Solving Problems
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Listed are ten simple yet challenging factors to remember when attempting to bring a difficult conversation to a calmer level. Both parties, working in this manner, may be able to move towards increased understanding of one another and look for ways to have both of you to have the things you value respected.
Anger, The "A" Word
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Anger is a word that creates great discomfort for many people. However, there are many reasons why anger can be a positive contribution to any relationships
Confrontation
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Confrontation is a difficult behavior to master yet crucial in our ability to build a sense of equality and respect in relationships. There are specific steps in preparing to confront that one can follow that help in creating the best possible outcome.
Good, Bad or Equal
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Each person in a family or group works at finding the way in which they are special. The process or, at times, battle for significance goes awry. God has perspective on what makes us all equal.
Learning to Fight Fair
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
All of us have times when we disagree or fight and fight dirty. There are helpful guidelines to fighting fair. They may be ideal but these guidelines promote the best possible atmosphere for you and for your loved ones.
Saying I'm Sorry
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Saying "I'm sorry." entail more than these two words. Examples in scripture outline what feeling sorry means and paints a word picture of our internal experience when feeling truly sorry.
Helpful Guidelines For Resolving Conflict
Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., CAPSW
Conflict is normal and full of potential if we manage it skillfully
How to Stop Bullying
Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., CAPSW
Helpful suggestions and step by step plan to end bullying
Stand Up For Yourself Without Putting Others Down
Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., CAPSW
Two vignettes demonstrating how to stand up for yourself without putting others down
Easter Clothes: Throwing Off Cloaks of Unforgiveness
Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT
Forgiveness brings emotional and spiritual healing. Using Biblical references to Palm Sunday and Easter, and a story from Corrie Ten Boom, this article shows how the old "clothes" or habits around unforgiveness hamper our freedom and joy.
Tearing Down the Wall Through Forgiveness
Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., CAPSW
What forgiveness really is and how relationships can be restored
Clearly Wrong: Bad Behavior and What To Do About It
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
How do we reside in the place of love when we fail in our behavior with others. There are times when each of us engages in bad behavior: Behavior we do not find acceptable to God or ourselves. What do we do when we are wrong in our behavior? This article provides answers; a "how to" in moving from bad behavior to a better "place," a forgiven place, a place of reconciliation with God and ourselves.
Mocking In Families
A "Dear Rosa" question and answer regarding the shamed based communication and its impact on family members.
Trauma Happens To Competent Healthy People
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Trauma causes a reaction in people. That reaction is physical because the brain is signaling the body to do something. This is true with natural disasters like floods and tornadoes as well as fighting or past trauma in relationships. What this feels like and how this affects a marital relationship is discussed in this article as well as the beginnings of what to do.
Using Mindfulness to Keep Relationships Healthy
Whitney Stager, M.S.
Insights and tips are provided on how use mindfulness to be attentive to others feelings, as well as your own, in everyday experiences, to help strengthen your relationship.
Making Your Way Through Transition
Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC
This article describes the challenges we face when going through difficult life changes. It also gives a way of navigating through that difficult time.
Validation is Not Agreement
Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC
This article describes the difference between validating another person's communication and agreeing with it. Examples are given.
Broadcasts
Agreeing to Disagree #572
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
This program reminds us that each individual does not have the entire picture of a situation and how this needs to be remembered during a discussion.
Double Binds: Telling Others #612
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
The importance of expression of experience and feelings in these situations.
Learning How To Fight Fair #1 of 4, #689
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Conflict is never easy to get through. However, the nature of disagreements and arguments in marriage is important to understand. Listen and see what you can learn.
Learning How To Fight Fair #2 of 4, #690
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Yes, conflict does not have to end up abusive. Discussed today is setting a goal to find a solution.
Learning How To Fight Fair, #3 of 4, #691
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
A key to healthy conflict is taking responsibility for yourself, how you feel, how you think, and your ideas.
Learning How To Fight Fair #4 or 4, #692
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Let's take a look at understanding the reason why you are fighting and how does fighting fit in?
The Need To Win: A Look at Winning #1 of 4, #695
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
How do you feel when you think you might lose a fight? Join us as we take a look at our 'need' to win.
The Need To Win: What's It About? #2 of 4, #696
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
As we continue discussion, we discover underlying fears and assumptions that inhibit the resolution of conflict.
The Need To Win: God Overcomes It #3 of 4, #697
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Scripture outlines practical ways in which we can overcome the inner battles that keep us locked into the need to win.
The Need To Win: God's Way #4 of 4, #698
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Discouraged about your own competitiveness? Tune in and be encouraged! God has your best in mind.
False Assumptions: Love Knots #2 of 4, #1069
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Discussion of the love knots caused by subconscious assumptions continues. Specific love knots are presented.
Living Peaceably #1 of 2, #3009
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Living peaceably may not mean finding solutions as much as managing the differences that are between two people.
Living Peaceably #2 of 2, #3013
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Living peaceably may not mean finding solutions as much as managing differences that exist between two people.
Boundaries: Murder By Mouth #2 of 2, #2281
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Gossip can be destructive to any relationship and the trust needed to maintain a sense of connectedness. This program takes a look at gossip, its impact on the victim of gossip both at work and at home.
Why Men Pull Away #2 of 4, #2296
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
The age old discussion of gender differences arises once again. The differences in needs regarding communication is discussed along with possible factors that trigger men pulling away from women.
Great Love Equals Great Responsibility #3 of 5, #3029
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Blame can be destructive to any relationship. Seeing ourselves and others as God sees us is important in providing unity of purpose as well as avoiding division in the family of God.
Great Love Equals Great Responsibility #4 of 5, #3030
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
A continuation of the seven implications regarding our responsibility in relationships
Great Love Equals Great Responsibility #5 of 5, #3031
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
The last in a series of five programs regarding responsibility in relationships, a look is taken at the reality that certain aspects of the relationship may not change.
Good Words - Bad Words- How To Respond To Bad Words, #2155
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Nicknames, untrue statements, unfair labels imprint us, much like an object in playdough. This program aids in identifying our imprints as well as ways to resist those which are harmful. It is these things that lock out the truth of God's Word about who we are.
Why Men Pull Away #3 of 4, #2297
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
The age old discussion of gender differences rises once again. Discussed are the differences in needs for communication and possible triggers that cause men to pull away.
Why Men Pull Away #4 of 4, #2298
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
The age old discussion of gender differences rises once again. Lynda and Paul wrap up the series discussing possible triggers as to why men pull away from women.
Why Women Crash & Men Get Frustrated #2 of 3, #2300
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Ever get to the end of your "emotional rope"? Discussed here are some of the dynamics of what happens when women continue to be physically and emotionally overwhelmed.
Why Women Crash & Men Get Frustrated #3 of 4, #2301
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Ever get to the end of your "emotional rope"? Discussed here are some of the dynamics that happen when women continue to be physically and emotionally overwhelmed.
When Couples Fight #2 of 3, #2334
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
As you may know, negotiating contracts with each other is not always a peaceful process. Disagreements, whether overt or covert, can end up in diminishment of one another. Finding courage with the help of God to change the fighting cycle is crucial. God uses our arguments with others to change and grow us up.
When Couples Fight #1 of 3, #2333
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
As you may know, negotiating contracts with each other is not always a peaceful process. Whether we fight overly or covertly the tendency is to diminish one another. Finding courage with the help of God to change the fighting cycle is crucial. God uses our arguments with others to change and grow us up.
When Couples Fight #3 of 3, #2335
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
As you may know, negotiating contract with each other is not always a peaceful process. Whether it is overtly or covertly arguing, we tend to diminish one another. Finding Courage with the help of God to change the fighting cycle is crucial. God uses our arguments with others to change and grow us up.
There's A Tyrant In The House #1 of 2, #2347
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Conflict is not something easily understood yet is a natural part of our intimate relationships. Lynda and Brenda discuss the parts of our personality that come out when we're angry and tired. Specific helps are provided in learning to deal with these parts of our personality.
There's A Tyrant In The House #2 of 2, #2348
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Conflict, although a natural part of intimate relationships, is not always easy to make sense of. The parts of our personality that come out when we are angry or tired need help and care. Listen as these helps are discussed.
But I'm The Nice One #1 of 2, #2349
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
As you may know, there is a big difference between acting nice and being nice. Is it all an act? The nurturance of honesty in our inward parts with God's help is what will help us know.
But I'm The Nice One #2 of 2, #2350
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Being nice and acting nice are two different things. Being nice, at times, means being honest. Have you ever wondered what may happen when the nice one and the honest one connect?
Consequences of Comparing #1 of 2, #3022
Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC
What happens to relationships when we compare ourselves to each other? Comparing blocks our loving connections to each other. Also discussed are ways to combat this divisive behavior pattern.
Consequences of Comparing #2 of 2, #3023
Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC
What happens to relationships when we compare ourselves to each other? Comparing blocks our loving connections to each other. Also discussed are ways to combat this divisive behavior pattern.
Great Love Equals Great Responsibility #2 of 5, #3028
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Based on Philippians 2 this program takes a look at ways to be responsible for our own part in relationships and become more like Christ.
Handling Criticism #3071
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Sometimes criticism is helpful. Sometimes it is not. This program offers tips for handling criticism when it hurts and when it helps.
Forgive For Good #1 of 3, #3074
Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC
Using the story of the Prodigal Son, qualities of each character with in the story are explored.
Forgive For Good #2 of 3, #3075
Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC
Through the story of the Prodigal Son, you will see forgiveness towards others happens within ourselves. This process is a metaphor for how God forgives each of us.
Forgive For Good #3 of 3, #3076
Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC
Forgiving for good begins within ourselves. Metaphorically this process reveals how God forgives each one of us.
The Silent Treatment #3116
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
When people use emotional cut-off with each other, it is the beginning of the end of a relationships unless a reversal of this pattern is sought and practiced. Lynda and Paul discuss the ins and outs of "The Silent Treatment".
Releasing Others - Releasing Others #1 of 2, #2213
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
When we forigve, it is God's way of helping us to become free as well as allowing God to work on the person. If we don't forgive, we stay stuck.
Releasing Others - Canceling The Debt #2 of 2, #2214
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
This program discusses the three aspects of forgiveness and canceling the debt.
Humor and Humiliation #1 of 2, #3059
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Humor coupled with humiliation is one of the most accepted ways of having fun in today's world. When humor and humiliation are coupled together the result is a tearing down of the receiver.
Humor and Humiliation #2 of 2, #3060
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Humor and Humiliation- These programs take a look at how God views people who engage in this type of behavior. It also includes suggestions for those who may find themselves the brunt of this kind of humor.
Confrontation #1 of 3, #3066
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
The word confrontation can conjure up many different pictures in people's imagination. These programs cover a series of questions one can use in the preparation for confrontation as well as take a look at God's plan for the result in His confronting each of us.
Confrontation #2 of 3, #3067
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
The word confrontation can conjure up many different pictures in people's imagination. These programs cover a series of questions one can use in the preparation for confrontation as well as take a look at God's plan for the result in His confronting each of us.
Confrontation #3 of 3, #3068
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
However we picture confrontation, it really is an act of love. These programs cover a series of questions one can use in the preparation for confrontation as well as take a look at God's plan for the result in His confronting each of us.
The Silent Treatment: A Different Perspective, #3191
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Lynda Savage and Paul Cameron discuss better ways to work through the hurts which cause the "silent treatment."
Saying I'm Sorry #1 of 2, #3242
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
We are taught from an early age to say "I'm sorry." We may not initially understand what we are saying or the need for this expression. However, in these two programs, Brenda Spina and Paul Cameron discuss examples from Scripture that help us understand the importance of, the sides of, and the blessings of saying "I'm sorry."
Saying I'm Sorry #2 of 2, #3243
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
We are taught from an early age to say "I'm sorry." We may not initially understand what we are saying or the need for this expression. However, in these two programs, Brenda Spina and Paul Cameron discuss examples from Scripture that help us understand the importance of, the sides of, and the blessings of saying "I'm sorry."
Trauma and Triggers in Relationships: Conflicts Born in the Past #1 of 2, #3244
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Many bumps in the road of relationship turn into major clashes because of past trauma in the history of one or both people. Lynda and Paul discuss this pattern and how to recover peace and calm between the parties involved.
Trauma and Triggers in Relationships: Conflicts Born in the Past #2 of 2, #3245
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Many bumps in the road of relationships turn into major clashes because of past trauma in the history of one or both people. Lynda and Paul discuss this pattern and how to recover peace and calm between the parties involved.
Dealing With Disappointment #1of 2, #3149
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
In this two part series, Lynda Savage reviews steps to help yourself when feeling disappointed. The why of allowing yourself, including the physical aspects of your body, time to "settle down" is included in this discussion.
Dealing With Disappointment #2 of 2, #3150
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
In this two part series, Lynda Savage reviews steps to help yourself when feeling disappointed. The why of allowing yourself, including the physical aspects of your body, time to "settle down" is included in this discussion.
