> Practical Family Living

Character, Grace and Relationships

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Paul's honesty about his core nature and the working of G od's grace gives each of us hope in our ability to love one another. It is in the acknowledgement of our sin that we become better equipped to love one another.

Clarity of Thought in Relationships

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

There are various fears and concerns that feed behaviors not helpful in our relationships with one another. Specific guidelines are available to aid us in our n eed for clarity of thought and behavior as we seek to experience and provide healthy styles of interacting.

Detours in Relationships

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

There are ways of thinking and acting that seem right only to discover they have detoured us off the path of right relating. God has it in his plan for us to become aware and work towards resolution those patterns that keep us from relating to others in a manner pleasing to Him.

Abundant Attachment with God and Others

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Illustrates how parents and spouses can use Jesus' words from the Gospel of John for healthy attachment

Family Systems and Generational Bondage

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Article describes how past generational patterns can influence current family functioning, and how God can equip us in healthy family functioning.

Grief and Changes

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Change within a family life cycle can bring feelings of grief and loss. Article lists six ways to weather the storms of family changes.

Teamwork in Tasks and Ministry

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Article describes seven principles to decrease stress through teamwork and delegation in ministry, family, or work-related tasks.

Marching On

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Article shows how God can encourage and strengthen us when facing fatigue and discouragement in challenging situations.

Marriage Relationships: Strengthening the Bond thru God's Love

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

A couple's journey from blaming each other to helping each other

Family Relationships: It's Not About Winning and Losing

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

What family relationships are not about

Perfectionism: A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Perfectionism is harsh and demanding. However,the Lord does not require it.

Attributes of a Successful Marriage

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

This article lists 15 keys to a successful marriage, including the habit of forgiveness, letting go of mocking and contempt when under duress, and rehearsing the good rather than the “bad” about the other.

One of the Worst Things Parents Do: Putting the Marriage Last

Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC

This article explores the drawbacks of "putting the marriage last" in the list of family priorities.

Trauma Happens To Competent Healthy People

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Trauma causes a reaction in people. That reaction is physical because the brain is signaling the body to do something. This is true with natural disasters like floods and tornadoes as well as fighting or past trauma in relationships. What this feels like and how this affects a marital relationship is discussed in this article as well as the beginnings of what to do.

When Parents Fight

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Children develop their sense of belonging and sense of security from their relationships with their parents. When there is on-going animosity between the parents, it is difficult for children to feel safe and to attach to both parents.

Tips for Talking About Finances

Talking about money can lead to conflict, but research shows that having a plan on how to handle disagreements leads to happier marriages. This article provides some useful tips on handling your differences regarding finances.

Family Finances: Don't Go Solo

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Many couples experience financial stress at some point in their marriage. How they communicate that stress to one another is significant. In this article, Christine provides a plan for couples to talk about family finances that builds unity and a team approach.

Relationships And The Brain

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Our brain is sending out signals for hormone release in all of our relationships. These hormones are either the "feel-good" kind or they are the fight or flight kind. Therapists at the Center for Family Healing give healthy response training to our clients to bring about the results they would like in their relationships.

Working Hard To Be Liked

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

People pleasers work very hard to be liked and crave love and acceptance from others at the cost of their own identity. The real person can become lost in the daze of perceived expectations. But there is good news.

What I Wish More Men Knew

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Men often do not know things like how much delight their children take in them. Here a therapist who has seen hundreds of men over the years outlines what she would like men to know. Things such as a woman relating from an accumulation of the days events when a man very often is relating in the here and now. Revelations are made in this article that will encourage men.

Powerful Dads and Pretty Daughters

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Dads have a tremendous amount of influence in the lives of their daughters. This article outlines the ways in which Dads make a powerful impact both positively and negatively.

Sacredness in Sexuality

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Sexuality can be a profound expression of love between a husband and wife. When God's view of love is included within sexuality, sex is transformed from mere mechanics to holy mystery and higher joy.

"The Talk"

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

The mere thought of having "the talk" about sexuality with their children often makes parents shudder and want to head for the hills. Parents take heart. This article encourages parents as it provides a step by step nonthreatening approach to discussing sexuality.

Can This Marriage Be Saved?

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Marriage skills must be worked at. The skills needed to succeed at marriage are often not learned by watching close loved ones. How on earth are people going to learn the skill set needed in marriage? Many simply learn by trial and error. Half of the time, the efforts at marriage fail. This article points to skills provided in the Successful Couples Seminar at the Center for Family Healing, are proven skills providing personal tools for successful relationships.

Marriage at the Foot of the Cross

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Marriage is hard work. We need to keep in mind that the ground is level at the foot of the cross; none of us are better or worse than one another.

It's Just a TV Show...Right?

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Keep your marriage fresh and alive. How? Turn off the TV. Programs that show unrealistic, unstable ups and downs, trust betrayed, and come close/go away relationships of many television programs (often soaps) actually negatively impact marriage. -Science Daily, "Then TV and Marriage Meet: TV's Negative Impact on Romantic Relationships" (9/12)

Affairs Don't Solve the Problem

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

If you are having an affair and want your marriage, you will need to end your affair. People often look outside the marriage to avoid a personal look at why they chose their spouse in the first place. Very simply put (and not all there is to it) that is; to complete an empty part of themselves. As a marriage matures, it becomes clear that you cannot complete yourself with another's real or imagined attributes. As I do marital therapy complicated by an affair, hope is essential. When responsible changes for personal choice and development are seen and made by each person in the marriage, hope increases.

Beyond Roommates

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

“It is like we are roommates. We don’t fight, we get along, but something is still missing from our marriage.” I have heard this remark time and time again in the therapy room from couples who feel something is missing. The relationship may have started off strong but somewhere among the busyness of life, the relationship got off track. Marriage was designed to be beyond roommates – but it takes work and commitment. It takes prioritizing the relationship above all other horizontal relationships. It takes carving out time for one another to share hopes, dreams, fears, tears and laughter. With God, it is possible to have a marriage that is beyond roommates, and is mutually fulfilling.

No One Listens to Me

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Do you have the sense that you are often being ignored or brushed aside? If it happens a lot at work, in your marriage, or at social gatherings it is a sign that your relationships are in trouble. People listen to people they like. They also listen to people who respect themselves and others in a mutual way. If you have an angry or bitter air about you, people are not likely to listen to you. Doing an inventory of your own may help. Do you respect yourself? Are you consistently angry or negative? Do you like the people you are talking to? Be honest with yourself. Chances are one or more of these conditions are hurting your input into the conversation.

Fight for Your Right

Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC

We own our feelings, thoughts and behaviors. We do not own the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of others. But what does this mean exactly?

CFH - New Groups Forming for Spring 2015

CFH - NEW GROUPS FORMING FOR SPRING 2015 Title: Putting Fear in Its Place Facilitated by: Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC A 4-week group that focuses on overcoming fears that feed unhealthy behavior. Dates: Tuesdays, March 31 through April 21, 2015, 6-7:30 pm Cost: $15/per person, per week ($60 for 4 weeks) Title: Healthy Relationships & Boundaries Facilitated by: Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT-T, LPC-T. We live in a boundary-breaking world. It's not uncommon to feel taken advantage of or to take advantage of others. Most people can relate to wanting to say "no" but saying yes and then regretting it. And who does have more on their plate than they can handle? Stress, anxiety, and depression are at an all time high. So, how do we know what is our responsibility and what isn't? How can we say "no" and take care of our own needs without feeling guilty? Having healthy boundaries is how! Come to this 8-week class and learn how to take control of your life. Dates: Thursdays, April 9 – May 29, 2015, 6-7:30 Cost: $15.00 per week per person ($120 for 8 weeks) or $100.00 (for all 8 weeks) if paid in full at beginning of group. Title: Cultivate Your Marriage: Couples Intensive Facilitated by: Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Description: Marriage can be wonderfully fulfilling. Learn ways to cultivate and enhance your marriage. Dates: Thursday, April 30 and May 7, 2015, 6-8 pm Cost: $25/per person, per week ($50/single, $100/couple total for both weeks) Location: Center for Family Healing,1476 Kenwood Dr., Menasha, WI 54952

Stretched

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Long-term friendships as well as marriages experience seasons in which each person is challenged to move out of their comfort zone. These seasons stretch/increase our ability to relate with understanding, honesty, and connect with one another at a deeper level.

Surviving the Affair

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

How can marriage survive the ultimate betrayal of an affair? Healing is possible. A covenant relationship can work only if the unfaithful partner ends the affair, the couple stops talking to family and friends about the situation, and therapy sessions begin with both parties present.

Winter: Happy or Miserable?

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Winter blues may mean that we have a disposition to join each other by grumbling about how miserable winter is. How to positively think about our winter experience and maybe other "cold" places in which we find ourselves will peak your interest in this piece!

Take Time to Celebrate

Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT

I recently watched an old movie that involved a beautiful and elegant couple dancing. I don’t know about you, but you won’t find my husband and me dancing the waltz. So what has changed in our culture and times? Other cultures and countries continue to use music, beat, celebrations, and traditions to mark special milestones and bring communities and families together. Where did we lose the art of celebrating? It is my daughters who have taught me how to celebrate. When our eldest daughter was young, she learned at a wedding to clink her glass and make a toast. “Cheers,” she would exclaim. The cute little “Cheers” that would escape her lips became a blessing to a simple meal I had prepared. It was an acknowledgment that we were blessed to have one another. And it was an invitation to join in the beauty of life. It is a practice she continues 10 years later. Our younger daughter would have a party every day if we let her. She makes a countdown for every holiday! It begins as soon as the previous holiday is done. She plans elaborate parties and celebrations (that I tactfully have to tone down). It can be excessive, but she understands that there is something special about celebrating. All around us there is beauty, accomplishment, good news, and traditions worthy of celebrating. In a careful reading of the Old Testament it appears as though Israel is to spend most of its time celebrating and preparing to celebrate. There are many feasts and celebrations that God asks Israel to observe. Why is this so important? God wants us to celebrate for several reasons. First, celebrating helps us to connect with one another and with God. Secondly, celebrating is fun. We need beauty and fun in our lives. Thirdly, it helps us to remember God’s faithfulness in the past, enjoy the moment, and look forward to the future. There are many ways to celebrate. Dare to celebrate the small victories and big. “Cheers!”

Traditions and Celebrations

Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT

Traditions and celebrations can provide a rite of passage from one season to another. From weddings to birthdays, college graduations to moving parties, these symbolic moments serve as spiritual, relational, and emotional transitions. These meaningful times serve a purpose of highlighting parts of our lives we can let go and aspects of our future that we can grab onto.

The Marriage "Mess"

Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT

Marriage brings us (sometimes quite often) to a place where we must make a choice. We have the decision of running into the mess and loving one another in it, or running away and pretending the mess isn’t there. Don’t miss the opportunity! The mess has the potential to create something beautiful in you and your marriage.

Something So Simple...Yet Challenging

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

An essential ingredient for a healthy marriage is being willing to work at it and to refuse to allow bitterness to take root.