> Practical Family Living

Shame vs. Honesty

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Shame is the single most inhibitor to any individual's development of honesty. God's proomise of honesty to us paves the way to our increased ability to relate honestly with Him and with those around us.

Honesty

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Deciding to be honest is only the beginning of living an honest life. c onsciously choosing to not deceive is an ongoing journey that challenges the reality of who we are and where belonging begins.

Self Sabatoge and Secret Affections

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

In the recovery process, a new kind of honesty is needed to become all that God would have. This article takes a look at one way in which honesty can be helpful in the healing of our ability to relate as God would have us to.

Personal Purity

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

There are benefits to personal purity beyond what we can fully take in as the world is seeming to celebrate impurity. The many faces of sexual impurity is reviewed here. The harmful effects of sexual sin including entertaining impure thoughts are discussed. This piece contains a good discussion of the harm seemingly harmless speech and innuendo brings.

Gratitude, It's Own Memory Chain

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Memories triggered at times of yearly occasions are not always pleasant. How do you deal with triggered memories? Can we move from reacting to certain memories to providing ourselves with a plan? See ways people are able to set in motion a positive chain of memories both personal and spiritual.

A Story of Getting Honest

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Being honest with yourself is the first step and straightest line to mental and spiritual health. This is a story about someone struggling with what the “supposed to” form of living produces, and applies to anyone who hides difficult feelings from themselves.

Martha and Phil

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Martha and Phil are like many couples who feel confused as to why their relationship is not better than it is. Read on as you discover some core shifts in behavior and thought that will help increase their ability to relate intimately and honestly.

How To Move Ahead After Personal Pain

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

The story you tell yourself and others of your difficult situation is important. It is important because the potential for going on in a capable manner after personal pain can be determined by how we frame the experience. Though it is important to tell the exact nature of the experience, including hope in one’s thoughts and expression after a trauma is a survival tool. This article explains how to be honest about difficult times yet cling to hope.

Kids in the Wheelbarrow: Cultivating Trust in the Home

Explore your definition of trust, discover what trust means in your home, and begin to cultivate a trusting environment.

When A Father Dies - Preparing For The Holidays

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

The death of a family member creates a kind of stress that one does not understand until they experience the loss themselves. Add the holidays to this and the multiple levels of grief increase. There are a few basic truths that become real in the face of such a loss around the holidays. This article, written to encourage as well as remind us of these truths, utilizes the author's own personal experience to bring the reality of what it means to celebrate living in the face of grief.

Coping with Change at Christmas

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Change is often difficult for families, but changes during the Christmas season can be especially tough. Article looks at four practical and spiritual ways to manage changes: based on Mary, the mother of Jesus, and her response to the birth of our Savior.

Feeling Crazy - The Effects of Addiction on the Family

Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC

This article describes the serious and debilitating effects of addiction on the family. Hopes for rehabilitation are addressed.

I Appreciate You

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Express appreciation whenever you can. We all know someone who makes us feel appreciated. If it is not obvious flattery or apple-polishing, appreciation makes us feel good. Practice appreciation with honesty and brevity and you will find others more cooperative. If you are in a work or family task setting, you will see things accomplished more lightly and quickly when a short, honest expression of appreciation comes from you to those around you.

Stretched

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Long-term friendships as well as marriages experience seasons in which each person is challenged to move out of their comfort zone. These seasons stretch/increase our ability to relate with understanding, honesty, and connect with one another at a deeper level.

Five Steps in Forgiving

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Forgiveness is not sympathy. Forgiveness is not denying unfairness. Forgiveness does not have to forget. Forgiveness may not mean reconciliation. Forgiveness is a choice. “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us...” 1. The fog lifts. The first step in forgiveness is moving toward learning how the offense has affected you and the consequences of it in your life. When the fog of what has happened begins to lift, moving forward is possible. 2. Fake forgiveness hurts you. The second step is to understand that you have a choice in the matter. In this span of time, it occurs to the offended that to hold back forgiveness is to hurt one’s self. This is not a new understanding of the human condition. A fake “I forgive you,” brings a veneer of balance. However, this will eventually crumble. 3. Who owns what? The third step produces a more full understanding of the offense and/or the offender. This does not mean liking or being sympathetic to the offender. In this part of the journey, letting go of anger and hurt depersonalizes the unfair actions of the offender. A major accomplishment here is knowing the harmful actions absolutely do not belong to you as a responsible party or as punishment. 4. Give yourself a break. The fourth step, while not minimizing the offense, is the realization that the continuing to hang on to “unresolve” because of bitterness, confusion, or even an identity as a wounded person, keeps the perpetration and perpetrator much too close. 5. Wisdom from pain. The fifth step is growth that comes from being an overcomer. Forgiveness deepens us. New meaning is possible in suffering. A new purpose in life for having suffered unjustly is out there. It is also possible in this letting go, to discover our own need to ask for forgiveness from others. Inspired by the writing of Robert Enright