Articles about Grief
Anger, The "A" Word
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Anger is a word that creates great discomfort for many people. However, there are many reasons why anger can be a positive contribution to any relationships
Martha, Can You Believe?
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Martha was unique in her refusal to not question God. She pursued Jesus in hope of receiving answers and comfort in her time of grief and loss. Using her life we will see the utilization of her skills and God's merciful response to her pain.
Allowing Grief
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Resisting the existence of grief robs us of the comfort available in our relationship with the Lord. A brief example of one girl's grief is shared.
God's Presence in the Midst of Suffering
Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW
Moving account of experiencing God's presence in the midst of horrendous suffering
Grieving As An Act of Reconciliation
Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC
This article addresses grieving in light of a process of reconciliation instead of a one action decision of acceptance.
Taking Care of Yourself Over Holidays After a Loss
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
After the death of a loved one, various holidays are difficult, especially Christmas. Here are specific ideas for moving through any holiday with gentleness toward yourself and your situation.
Grieving Another Divorce
A "Dear Rosa" question and answer expressing the anger and hurt one can feel during a divorce in the face of some Christians
Serve Your Generation
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Meeting the challenge of any new year keeps us mindful of how we have opportunity to be all that God would have us be. A personal look into the life of one serving in the face of loss is described beautifully and challenges us to look at those around us in a new way.
Words When It Matters
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Our hearts go out to those who have just experienced loss. What can we say to them? This article explains the importance of words to the grieving person and gives five great ideas of what is helpful to share.
Coping With Holiday Grief
Compiled by Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Adapted from "Ten Ways To Cope With Holiday Grief" by L.B. Schultz, this handout provides information that is both practical and helpful for anyone who experiences renewed grief during the holiday seasons. Grief knows no time frame. Because of that fact, knowing what is normal and helpful may aid in alleviating and normalize the grief responses.
Things To Remember When Grieving
Compiled by Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Following guidelines originally written in "How To Grieve" by KAIROS, these steps help the grief stricken person what to remember. Each of these ten statements move the grieving individual towards the strength of God and moving forward into the future with renewed focus.
Understanding Grief When A Child Dies
Compiled by Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Reprinted in part from "Compassionate Friends", Copyright 1980, the death of a child has unique stresses that impact the remaining family members. Guilt, grief, depression, and strained relationships are not unusual. This handout is especially helpful for parents who have had to say good-bye to a child prematurely.
Chronic Disease: A Life Altering Condition
Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW
Each year many people are diagnosed with having a chronic disease. This article discusses some of the common grief reactions patients may have when first diagnosed.
When A Father Dies - Preparing For The Holidays
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
The death of a family member creates a kind of stress that one does not understand until they experience the loss themselves. Add the holidays to this and the multiple levels of grief increase. There are a few basic truths that become real in the face of such a loss around the holidays. This article, written to encourage as well as remind us of these truths, utilizes the author's own personal experience to bring the reality of what it means to celebrate living in the face of grief.
Let There Be Peace in the Home: Helping Children Manage Stress During the Holiday Season
Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW
Children are just as vulnerable to experiencing holiday stress as adults. This article gives parents nine practical tips to help children manage stress associated with the holiday season.
Coping with Change at Christmas
Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT
Change is often difficult for families, but changes during the Christmas season can be especially tough. Article looks at four practical and spiritual ways to manage changes: based on Mary, the mother of Jesus, and her response to the birth of our Savior.
My First Christmas Alone
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Holidays are unique in that they tend to awaken emotions many would rather avoid. Facing your first holidays without a loved one means the development of a new awareness of ourselves along with the loss of our loved one. Brenda candidly shares her experience of her first Christmas without her parents and the reality of our Heavenly Father's understanding.
Coming Home
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Home is a powerful word. This article speaks to the yearning for home whether one is physically home or not. Where is home? If we do not have a sense of home, where may we find it?
Honor Widows
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Widowhood is one of those transitions that is easily dismissed and greatly misunderstood. As someone who watched her mother work through the varied tasks of this transition, the lack of availability in those around her for her situation was striking. Yet, James exhorts us to care for the orphans and widows as an expression of our pure and faultless expression of faith. The author expresses lessons learned from her own experience of coming along side her mother when facing widowhood.
Women, Grief, and Jesus
Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT
Women experiencing grief and loss can also know deep comfort, individual attention, and a life-giving future through the Lord Jesus Christ. Christ’s loving attention to a mother who lost her only son from the gospel of Luke, is explored in this article.
Coping With Holiday Grief
Compiled by Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
There is no time of year more difficult than the holidays when a loved one has died. Nothing feels the same nor will it feel the same again. Listed here are only a few helps that may make the holidays a bit more tolerable.
Helping Ourselves through the Holidays
Holidays challenge us on every level: emotionally with the memories of family or stressors of getting together, physically because there seem to be so many more activities and details to attend to, spiritually we are stretched thin between honoring our faith and all the demands we face. This handout is designed with those stressors in mind. The ideas suggested are just that...suggestions. Underneath it all we trust each will find ways to care for themselves as God would have.
Myths About Sexual Abuse
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
As familiar as we may all think we are with the existence and impact of sexual abuse, there is nothing that diminishes the shock and ensuring emotional upheaval that follows. In coping with an incident of sexual abuse, families often begin believing particular myths about sexual assault. This article outlines a number of these myths and presents the truth in a manner that is direct while pointing to the reality of God's healing power.
Picture Perfect: How God "Sees" Our Troubles
Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT
Even Jesus' disciples struggled to picture certain promises that Jesus reassured them of. This article will outline scriptural truths in getting beyond our circumstances, to trusting and believing in His peace and His path for our lives.
Life's Seasons
Kathy Ann Ward, MA, LPC-T, CSAC
This article recognizes the difficulties that come with life's many transitions, and offers time tested coping strategies.
How to Talk about Trauma and Loss with Children
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
This article gives tips and insight for adults in explaining trauma and loss to children. Important points and understanding for both adult and child are given here. If you are a part of a child's life and you need encouragement for difficult conversations because of a loss a child experiences, this article will help you prepare in practical ways.
Tears In My Ears: A Conversation of Failure and Honesty
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Failure and loss is hard. This article describes how to get through the difficult times after defeat.
Trauma and the Body
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Normal physical stress responses to traumatic events: The symptoms of traumatic stress are not just emotional—they’re also physical. It’s important to know what the physical symptoms of stress look like, so they don’t scare you. They will go away if you don’t fight them: ◾Trembling or shaking ◾Pounding heart ◾Rapid breathing ◾Lump in throat; feeling choked up ◾Stomach tightening or churning ◾Feeling dizzy or faint ◾Cold sweats ◾Racing thoughts There are emotional responses to trauma as well yet it is equally important to understand how the body reacts to these events.
Forgiveness Means Time
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Not too long ago I met with an eleven-year-old girl who was being adopted by her stepfather. Her father left her mother when she was two months old refusing to have anything to do with them. This she knew only because of what had been passed on through stories from family members. After a few minutes of talking about her experience, she dropped silent, tears running down her face. We sat together for some time in silence. Struggling to talk she managed to get out the words, “I have to get through the tears first.” The simple wisdom of her words seemed so clear. She was not concerned so much with understanding why, as she was with allowing her grief to be just what it was: grief. We often rob ourselves of an opportunity to experience God’s love for us when we try to cover our grief with intellectual analysis, busyness, or plain old denial. The death of my brother parallels this. For seven years I attempted to cover the fact I felt grief. Only after allowing the grief to be present and allowing God to comfort me did I become comfortable with the fact that there was a loss. The understanding that followed altered my character, personality, and life’s work. In time, this eleven-year-old girl may not grieve as hard for her situation. In the meantime her focus is simply to cry and receive comfort.
A Rock Through the Front Window
Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW
Have you ever felt as if someone threw a rock through the front window of your life? The Lord promises to bind up and care for our wounds.
A Rock Through Your Front Window
Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW
Have you ever felt as if someone threw a rock through the front window of your life? Maybe, it was after a divorce, sudden job loss, serious accident, grave medical diagnosis, death of a loved one, or broken relationship. It may have felt as if your life and dreams were shattered to pieces and you were left to grieve the loss amidst the shards. Although we cannot control all the circumstances in our lives, we can control how we respond. Do we allow disappointment, fear, anger, and bitterness to take root in our heart? Or...Do we allow ourselves the freedom and space to grieve? Do we allow ourselves the freedom to change and grow?
Working it Through
Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW
Recently, I worked with a family that had experienced a traumatic event. Each of the family members had embarked on their own journey to try to make sense of the event and deal with the aftermath. Their paths were each filled with confusion and much grief. Each family member tried to argue their position and get the other family members to see it and experience the event the same way. Needless to say, this created much tension. What was happening? Each of the family members were seeing the traumatic event through their own lens and assigning meaning to it. Who was right and who was wrong? This is one circumstance in which they were all right and no one was wrong. Once they were able to acknowledge and accept their differences and their reactions, they were able to support one another and help each other to heal.
Claim Your Land - Handout to Broadcasts 3554, 3555, 3556
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Claim Your Land Relationships Who has hurt you? How? Who are you holding a grudge against? Who are you jealous of and why? Who have you hurt? How did you hurt them? Who have you been critical of or gossiped about? Why? How have you attempted to place the blame on someone else? Priorities in Life What areas of your life have you turned over to the Lord? In what areas are you not putting God first? What in your past is keeping you from seeking and following God’s will for your life? Number the following: ____Career ____Family ____Church ____God ____Friendships ____Money ____Ministry/Volunteer What goals will you choose to focus on the next 90 days? Attitude What areas of your life are you thankful for? In the past, what things have you been ungrateful over? What causes you to lose your temper? To whom have you been sarcastic in the past? What in your past are you still worried about? How has your attitude improved? Integrity How have you exaggerated to make yourself look good? Does your walk match your talk at church, home, work, etc? In what areas have you used false humility to impress someone? Have any of your past business dealings been dishonest? Have you ever stolen things? Adapted from John Baker’s book, “Taking an Honest and Spiritual Inventory”, 1998
Our Grief
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Sometimes we judge our sorrows. Do you feel you don’t get to be sad because others have better reasons to be sad? It is not true that because you don’t have it as bad as other people that you don’t get to grieve. Stop comparing. Walking through your personal grief is natural and important.
Miss But Don't Miss
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
A thing about remembering loved ones gone, is that the missing of them is powerful. We need to honor that. In the missing of those gone, we must also be sharply open to NOT miss those who are here.
