Articles about Family
Character, Grace and Relationships
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Paul's honesty about his core nature and the working of G od's grace gives each of us hope in our ability to love one another. It is in the acknowledgement of our sin that we become better equipped to love one another.
Clarity of Thought in Relationships
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
There are various fears and concerns that feed behaviors not helpful in our relationships with one another. Specific guidelines are available to aid us in our n eed for clarity of thought and behavior as we seek to experience and provide healthy styles of interacting.
Detours in Relationships
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
There are ways of thinking and acting that seem right only to discover they have detoured us off the path of right relating. God has it in his plan for us to become aware and work towards resolution those patterns that keep us from relating to others in a manner pleasing to Him.
In Pursuit of Belonging
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Sometimes obtaining a sense of belonging promotes behaviors that demean or 'step on' others in order to feel significant. Using a passage from Hebrews, this article takes a look at the role of the priest, our role as priests in the family of God and similarities of responsibility.
Marital Transitions: Parting the Fearful Waters
Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT
Three steps to finding marital stability in the midst of change
Attachment Wounds: Ten Steps That Heal
Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT
Childhood story illustrating bonding and attachment wounds and ten steps for healing
Parenting Perspectives on Behavior and Bonding
Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT
A child's oppostional behavior may indicate emotional pain. Article explores larger perspectives, including need for bonding and healing.
When Bereavement and Holidays Walk Together
Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT
Roles and traditions between family members, especially during the holidays, can be altered when a loved one dies. Article brings tips on coping with this sensitive family issue.
Transitions and Change: A Tribute to Mr. Fred Rogers
Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT
Changes in life can bring grief, stress, and a longing for the past. Article uses lessons learned from The Mister Rogers Show to show ways to lessen the trauma around transition.
Faith of Our Children: A Model for Home Devotions
Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT
Building a child's Christian faith is a foundational piece in "training up a child in the way he should go." (Proverbs 22:6) Article suggests six practical steps in developing home devitions for the elementary age child.
Trusting God in Trials and Sorrow
Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT
Article depicts, through a teenager's story, how Christ will not delay his provision, safety, strength, and love when we endure trials and suffering.
Teamwork in Tasks and Ministry
Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT
Article describes seven principles to decrease stress through teamwork and delegation in ministry, family, or work-related tasks.
Marching On
Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT
Article shows how God can encourage and strengthen us when facing fatigue and discouragement in challenging situations.
Bread of Bethlehem
Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT
Family and the sharing of communion is the backdrop of this article, which explores how to receive life-giving and healing attributes of God during the Christmas season.
11 Tips to Help Manage Stress
Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW
Practical, clear and helpful ideas to keep you focused and positive in the Holiday Season
Helpful Guidelines For Resolving Conflict
Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW
Conflict is normal and full of potential if we manage it skillfully
For Shame, For Shame: How to End Shaming When Disciplining
Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW
The power and influence of parents is great; keeping the parent-child relationship in its proper place
Advent Traditions
This article provides many ideas to help you and your family celebrate Advent - with special ways to prepare your hearts and minds for the coming of the Christmas season.
Just Right: A Christmas Memory
A story of a family tradition to warm your heart and a reminder that family traditions help build memories that last a lifetime.
Memories: Our Past, Our Present, and Our Future
Daniel Lange, M.S.W., LCSW
Memories present a consistent history to what yiou decide is true of you
Taking Out the Trash: Preparation for the Holidays
Cheryl Chapin, M.S.
Share many blessings with family members instead of strife during the holiday season
Answering Jesus' Call
This article helps the reader make decisions about when it is important to act on Jesus' call and to be open to His timing.
Christmas Shocking
Christmas this year may not happen as you picture it. When things do not go as planned, you may experience Christmas culture shock.
You Don't Need (Much) Money for Fun!
Ten fun and free or low-cost ideas to beat cabin fever.
Blended Families and Teens
Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT
Blended families can be challenging for everyone, especially a teenager. Article describes these challenges and ways to help your teen navigate the ups and downs.
What Teens Want Parents to Understand
Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW
Some teens believe that parents "don't get it" or "just don't understand." Recently, I asked teens to help me understand what it was like to be a teenager. This article reports their comments.
Working Hard To Be Liked
Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW
People pleasers work very hard to be liked and crave love and acceptance from others at the cost of their own identity. The real person can become lost in the daze of perceived expectations. But there is good news.
Family Conflict and the Holidays: God Bless Us, Every One!
Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW
Christmas is supposed to be a time of great joy and celebration, isn’t it? Yet, many have a relative or two in which there is some tension. When you consider the extra stress of the shopping, wrapping, food preparation, traveling, and stretched finances, it is no wonder that family gatherings can be stressful. This article provides tips to handle the stress of family and the holidays with God’s help.
Coming Home
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Home is a powerful word. This article speaks to the yearning for home whether one is physically home or not. Where is home? If we do not have a sense of home, where may we find it?
The Notebook
Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC
This article explores a ritual families can participate in at Christmas. This ritual is one that helps members of the family affirm one another.
What Men Wish Women Knew
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Interviewing a number of gentlemen, Brenda presents concisely and directly the thoughts and concerns these men expressed regarding the women most important to them. Covering acceptance, purpose, affection, and trust, these men placed themselves in a vulnerable position to help us understand pieces of their experience and commitment to the people they love.
Powerful Dads and Pretty Daughters
Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW
Dads have a tremendous amount of influence in the lives of their daughters. This article outlines the ways in which Dads make a powerful impact both positively and negatively.
Moms' To Do List
Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW
Moms are good at taking care of their loved ones but often do not take time for themselves. This article offers encouragement to moms to care for their needs and discusses ways moms can be proactive by nurturing their minds, bodies and spirits.
Coming Along Side the 20 Somethings
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Young adults look so adult yet, as we all know, looks can be deceiving. This special group of people need more support than we can imagine. The energy and enthusiasm can mask the fears and challenges they face. Author and therapist, Brenda Spina takes a few moments to outline the challenges they face as well as some practical ways in which all of us can support these precious young men and women.
Twenty Something
Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW
The twenties can be described as a time of great transitions. In this article, Christine outlines common struggles of young adults and provides helpful suggestions for parents and loved ones.
Surprise, Surprise: Not Everyone Likes Their Family Christmas
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Family gatherings are not always pleasant. We may not even like our family. What is the difference between like and love? This article tells how to separate behavior from the person or the family we are to love. We can not like or even accept behavior and still love the person. Separating the deed from the doer as we learn to love one another as we love ourselves is a big task. With God being invited into the center of this command, we will be able to follow it.
Facebook, Teens, and Depression
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Some teens look to Facebook and other social media to determine their self worth. They do this by comparing their numbers of friends, pictures, and entries on the site with others. The term for the downward spiral of self worth this inspires in some "Facebook Depression." This article briefly examines the phenomenon and provides helpful suggestions to direct young people toward more healthy thinking.
Encouraging the Growth Mindset in Children
Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW
Parents naturally want the best for their children and can be instrumental in helping their children become resilient to challenges. This article informs parents on recent research and ways they can encourage their children to have a growth mindset.
Live Within Your Means
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Living within our means often is associated with our financial circumstances. In this article, Brenda outlines ideas that help us live within our means emotionally, physically, and spiritually this Christmas season. Nothing drains our joy quicker than attempting to do all and be all to those we love. In addition, it drains our ability to enjoy the real reason for celebrating that which God has provided.
Marriage at the Foot of the Cross
Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW
Marriage is hard work. We need to keep in mind that the ground is level at the foot of the cross; none of us are better or worse than one another.
Tell Children As Soon As You Know
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Experts emphasize that parents should tell their children about their serious illness as soon as possible. Since children are able to sense very small changes in the dynamics of the family, neglecting to tell them about the illness will only make it harder for everyone, especially for children who will sense a troubling secret. Alketa Kumbaro, a Canadian child expert explains, “children will notice that things are different even if you do not tell them. They may say ‘mommy you don’t look like yourself’ or ‘mommy you’re hugging me too much/not enough.’ They might also start hearing things from friends or family members, so it is best to tell them yourself.”
Enormous Power
Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW
We all have pre-recorded tapes that play in our minds. These tapes were largely created in our childhood. Our experiences as teens and adults can make some modifications to the tapes. For some of us we hear, “You are competent,” “you are worthy;” and for others of us we hear, “you can’t do it,” “why try?” What recordings are we making for our children? What recordings or re-recordings are we making for friends and family? Are we blessing those around us with encouraging, kind, and compassionate words? Your words have enormous power to uplift and encourage, use them well.
Fighting Dogs
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Ever grab a stray dog by the ear? The likelihood of the dog turning to take a bite out of you is high. The same is true when we rush into a quarrel that is not ours to be involved in. Getting involved without permission or invitation for feedback runs the risk of defocusing the core disagreement on to what you say or do (or don’t say or do!). Stay out of the middle!! Or you may end up being the one who is bitten.
Hints for Survival as the Holidays and Family are Before Us...
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Before a family gathering: ***Make up your mind and prepare your heart ahead of time to bless and encourage your family members. ***Avoid a judgmental attitude about family members’ decisions, viewpoints and lifestyle choices. This may take some prayer and head/heart work ahead of time on your part. ***Take care of yourself and make sure to get enough rest before the family gathering. When we are well rested, it is easier for those harsh comments to roll off and it is easier to be patient with difficult people. When we are tired and stressed, things can seem worse than they really are. ***Avoid unrealistic expectations. We create some of our own stress by expecting our relatives to change or to stop doing the things that annoy us simply because it is the holidays. Those annoyances may not be intrinsically wrong. ***Allow room for differences in opinions and ways of doing things. ---Gleaned from life and paraphrased from the writings of Christine VanderWielen, MSW, LCSW at PFL.org
Fight for Your Right
Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC
We own our feelings, thoughts and behaviors. We do not own the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of others. But what does this mean exactly?
Wage War
Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
When you are in a war, listening to advisors is crucial, especially if you wish to have the best chance of winning. Thinking you know best and blazing forward leaves you alone at the front. Healthy living, thinking, choosing requires war, war on selfishness, greed, pride, you name it. Never ever go into battle alone. Bring the Lord, trusted friends and family, pastors, counselors, anyone you come to realize is really for you. You may lose a few battles along the way. However, in the end, you are always the winner.
The Model Parent
Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC
How do you define success as a parent? Is it a child who reads before kindergarten? A teenager who got into an Ivy League or Division I college? A kid who texts and calls you a lot? It's easy to fall into a parenting "default", which is likely a combination of what our parents did and what we swore we'd never do that they did. Instead, start by asking yourself- what is the purpose of parenting? Children need parents who will use childhood as a training period. This training should include comprehensive information on how to care for oneself and others physically, psychologically, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually. We're talking skills from doing laundry to how to have a relationship with the Creator. It's a tall order! But we have 18 or so years to do it and a God who is THE model parent. Lean on Him and reach out when you need help. There are many fantastic resources available to parents today including books, radio programs, ministries, and family therapists. Keep up the good work!
I Appreciate You
Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC
Express appreciation whenever you can. We all know someone who makes us feel appreciated. If it is not obvious flattery or apple-polishing, appreciation makes us feel good. Practice appreciation with honesty and brevity and you will find others more cooperative. If you are in a work or family task setting, you will see things accomplished more lightly and quickly when a short, honest expression of appreciation comes from you to those around you.
Dearly Loved Children
Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC
Most parents know what it’s like to be so fully in love with a person for no reason other than they belong to you. The moment a child is conceived he or she becomes part of the family and is deeply loved. Ask most any mom or dad whether their love is dependent on how their child behaves. You’ll likely receive a strong “no!” A child is loved not because of what he or she does, but because of whom he or she is. The same goes for us as God’s children. God adores us. He delights in us. And, like a momma bear, if anyone messes with us He goes on the defense. Rest in God’s acceptance and love for you today.
CFH - New Groups Forming for Spring 2015
CFH - NEW GROUPS FORMING FOR SPRING 2015 Title: Putting Fear in Its Place Facilitated by: Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC A 4-week group that focuses on overcoming fears that feed unhealthy behavior. Dates: Tuesdays, March 31 through April 21, 2015, 6-7:30 pm Cost: $15/per person, per week ($60 for 4 weeks) Title: Healthy Relationships & Boundaries Facilitated by: Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT-T, LPC-T. We live in a boundary-breaking world. It's not uncommon to feel taken advantage of or to take advantage of others. Most people can relate to wanting to say "no" but saying yes and then regretting it. And who does have more on their plate than they can handle? Stress, anxiety, and depression are at an all time high. So, how do we know what is our responsibility and what isn't? How can we say "no" and take care of our own needs without feeling guilty? Having healthy boundaries is how! Come to this 8-week class and learn how to take control of your life. Dates: Thursdays, April 9 – May 29, 2015, 6-7:30 Cost: $15.00 per week per person ($120 for 8 weeks) or $100.00 (for all 8 weeks) if paid in full at beginning of group. Title: Cultivate Your Marriage: Couples Intensive Facilitated by: Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Description: Marriage can be wonderfully fulfilling. Learn ways to cultivate and enhance your marriage. Dates: Thursday, April 30 and May 7, 2015, 6-8 pm Cost: $25/per person, per week ($50/single, $100/couple total for both weeks) Location: Center for Family Healing,1476 Kenwood Dr., Menasha, WI 54952
