> Practical Family Living

Parents Modeling Faith

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Every parent seeks to passon their faith. Taking a look at one example in scripture, we see how the everyday patterns of life provide a foundation in which a child may learn the reality of God's presence and decide for him/herself to believe in God

When Children Steal

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

There isn't a parent on earth who enjoys the idea of their child stealing. Understanding the possible reasons that children steal is foundational to knowing how to respond in discipline.

Communicating With Kids (and Adults!)

Practical tips are provided to help children pair emotions with words and a specific technique is described to improve communication for both kids and adults.

Teaching Children About Feelings

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Children need help in identifying what emotion they feel just as much as we do as adults. Here are some guidelines which are fun and a relaxing way to help your children learn what they may feel and when.

Elderly and Families: Intergenerational Respect and Love

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Suggestions on how family members can bring emotional, practical, and spiritual support to older loved ones

Abundant Attachment with God and Others

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Illustrates how parents and spouses can use Jesus' words from the Gospel of John for healthy attachment

Transitions and Change: A Tribute to Mr. Fred Rogers

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Changes in life can bring grief, stress, and a longing for the past. Article uses lessons learned from The Mister Rogers Show to show ways to lessen the trauma around transition.

Emotional Healing for Adults Through the Inner Child

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Christ's example of love and attention to children can be a model for adults to reconnect with childhood experiences to restore simple joys, spontaneity, and hope.

Trusting God in Trials and Sorrow

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Article depicts, through a teenager's story, how Christ will not delay his provision, safety, strength, and love when we endure trials and suffering.

Family Systems and Generational Bondage

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Article describes how past generational patterns can influence current family functioning, and how God can equip us in healthy family functioning.

How to Stop Bullying

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Helpful suggestions and step by step plan to end bullying

Taking Care of Yourself Over Holidays After a Loss

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

After the death of a loved one, various holidays are difficult, especially Christmas. Here are specific ideas for moving through any holiday with gentleness toward yourself and your situation.

Happy Kids, Peaceful Parents

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Nature is filled with the very nature of God Himself. Article explains how God can use His creation for uniting families through opening up communication, and simple enjoyment of one another.

Let There Be Peace in the Home: Helping Children Manage Stress During the Holiday Season

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Children are just as vulnerable to experiencing holiday stress as adults. This article gives parents nine practical tips to help children manage stress associated with the holiday season.

Entitlement, Money and Families

Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC

This article describes what entitlement means and how families send messages to their children about money and entitlement.

Treasuring Children: Helping Children In Chronically Difficult Families

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Families where addictions and chronic stress or conflict dwell are especially difficult for children to cope with. Without a doubt, children in these settings have to work overtime to cope, survive and find a sense of safety that is different than most families. This article defines but a few things that can be done to make life and the development of who they are as children of God a bit easier.

Our Love Affair with Food

This article discusses forming healthy or unhealthy relationships with food at several stages in our development. Tips for being aware of the place of food in our lives and resources for developing a healthier relationship with food are included.

Supporting Safety In Our Schools

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Safety in the schools has become a major focus for parents and school officials. Based on an interview with an area school counselor, Brenda briefly outlines ways in which parents can actively support safety for their children.

Children and Attachment Wounds

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Early trauma in a child’s life can result in attachment wounds in your child. Article describes how a specialized family therapy; Family Narrative Attachment Therapy, can help rebuild bonds between parent and child. Especially useful for foster and adoptive children.

What I Wish More Men Knew

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Men often do not know things like how much delight their children take in them. Here a therapist who has seen hundreds of men over the years outlines what she would like men to know. Things such as a woman relating from an accumulation of the days events when a man very often is relating in the here and now. Revelations are made in this article that will encourage men.

Men In Leadership: Brave Acts, Vulnerable Hearts

Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Men in leadership roles in today’s society have unique challenges. This article encourages men to fill these roles with courage, vulnerability, identification and empathy.

Surprise, Surprise: Not Everyone Likes Their Family Christmas

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Family gatherings are not always pleasant. We may not even like our family. What is the difference between like and love? This article tells how to separate behavior from the person or the family we are to love. We can not like or even accept behavior and still love the person. Separating the deed from the doer as we learn to love one another as we love ourselves is a big task. With God being invited into the center of this command, we will be able to follow it.

"The Talk"

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

The mere thought of having "the talk" about sexuality with their children often makes parents shudder and want to head for the hills. Parents take heart. This article encourages parents as it provides a step by step nonthreatening approach to discussing sexuality.

Encouraging the Growth Mindset in Children

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Parents naturally want the best for their children and can be instrumental in helping their children become resilient to challenges. This article informs parents on recent research and ways they can encourage their children to have a growth mindset.

Preparing for the School Year

Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Families enjoy the change summer schedules bring. It seems families adjust to the summer schedule then quickly find themselves facing a transition into a new school year. Implementing simple steps help manage this transition with greater ease. This article outlines these steps.

The Excitement and Challenge of Beginning School

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Beginning school can be exciting and challenging for children and parents alike. In this article, Christine Vander Wielen provides parents with helpful guidelines to,, make the transition smoother for themselves and their children.

How to Talk about Trauma and Loss with Children

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

This article gives tips and insight for adults in explaining trauma and loss to children. Important points and understanding for both adult and child are given here. If you are a part of a child's life and you need encouragement for difficult conversations because of a loss a child experiences, this article will help you prepare in practical ways.

Helping Children with Nightmares

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

To children, nightmares are very real and they do not have the knowledge or experience to understand it was just a bad dream. This is a perfect time when parents can be very instrumental in helping their children. This article provides some helpful hints for parents to help comfort their little ones after a nightmare.

Just Love Them

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Our children are not perfect, and neither are we. Sometimes their behavior may leave us scratching our heads or pulling our hair out, and sometimes our behavior may leave others scratching their heads or pulling their hair out. Through it all, God loves each of us and has a plan for each of our lives.

Kids with Fears: Get the Real Deal

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

We work a lot with children who have fears. There are many ways to help them through to calm, but the first step is to MAKE SURE YOU UNDERSTAND THE CHILD’S FEAR BEFORE TRYING TO ALLAY IT. Listen carefully to your child as they explain what’s bothering them. Don’t jump to conclusions. We know you have a thousand other things to do in your busy parenting life, but do not assume that saying: “Don’t worry” will help. For kids too young to put words on their fear, it may be helpful for them to draw a picture. One young boy was afraid to spend the night in his grandparent’s home. When he “drew his worry” he drew a scary looking bear. Mom knew exactly the source of the problem. The room where Grandpa kept his antique toy bear collection was where the child slept. Grandma and Grandpa made sure the bears were locked away and explained they “couldn’t get back.”

How Do I Look?

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

A great article at PFL.org: "How Do I Look." Many points to consider as the children in your life learn about the difference between what media says is beautiful and real beauty. Here is a sample: "Do NOT allow demeaning/contemptuous comments of any kind about how your or other children look to each other at any age....Contempt for how a person looks is not funny and has hurtful effects even for those delivering the demeaning remark."

Tell Children As Soon As You Know

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Experts emphasize that parents should tell their children about their serious illness as soon as possible. Since children are able to sense very small changes in the dynamics of the family, neglecting to tell them about the illness will only make it harder for everyone, especially for children who will sense a troubling secret. Alketa Kumbaro, a Canadian child expert explains, “children will notice that things are different even if you do not tell them. They may say ‘mommy you don’t look like yourself’ or ‘mommy you’re hugging me too much/not enough.’ They might also start hearing things from friends or family members, so it is best to tell them yourself.”

Reflections: Are You Lovable?

Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC

Love relationships are a mirror. We learn how and if we are lovable only by our interactions with people we love. Young children don’t think about the overworked mother who is stressed or a raging father’s childhood, they simply attribute negative exchanges as a reflection of their unworthiness. As children who mature or as adult children of these relationships, it is important first to know that the relationship where you learned your lovability or lack of lovability is the faulty part, not you as a person. That, simply put, is the healing part of recovery. God is not mad at you. He loves you. When the mirror reflects God’s love toward you, it is possible for a love filled life.

Enormous Power

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

We all have pre-recorded tapes that play in our minds. These tapes were largely created in our childhood. Our experiences as teens and adults can make some modifications to the tapes. For some of us we hear, “You are competent,” “you are worthy;” and for others of us we hear, “you can’t do it,” “why try?” What recordings are we making for our children? What recordings or re-recordings are we making for friends and family? Are we blessing those around us with encouraging, kind, and compassionate words? Your words have enormous power to uplift and encourage, use them well.

Fight for Your Right

Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC

We own our feelings, thoughts and behaviors. We do not own the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of others. But what does this mean exactly?

The Act of Forgiveness

Compiled by Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC

As children we are taught to forgive. We obediently say we forgive so we get things over with in order to go on with our day. Extending grace is the beginning of forgiveness. As adults, making the decision to extend grace does not mean we are not hurt, do not need boundaries, do not need time for trust to rebuild, or condone what was done. All it means is we remove any obstacle from within our own spirit that would sprout a bitterness to take root. If we hang on to the offense, nurturing it, we trouble and defile many.

Dearly Loved Children

Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC

Most parents know what it’s like to be so fully in love with a person for no reason other than they belong to you. The moment a child is conceived he or she becomes part of the family and is deeply loved. Ask most any mom or dad whether their love is dependent on how their child behaves. You’ll likely receive a strong “no!” A child is loved not because of what he or she does, but because of whom he or she is. The same goes for us as God’s children. God adores us. He delights in us. And, like a momma bear, if anyone messes with us He goes on the defense. Rest in God’s acceptance and love for you today.

Dealing With Difficult People

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Whether it is in our family, church, or work place, we all know people who are difficult to be around. They usually cannot read social cues nor are unaware of how they come across to others. They tend to trample across boundaries, stomp on feelings, and take advantage of others. When dealing with difficult people, our natural tendency is to point the finger and find someone to sympathize with us, and someone to agree with us on how difficult person is. So how do we deal with difficult people? How does The Lord want us to respond? We need to remember that we were all made in God's image, and we are all God's children. Although, we all have our weaknesses, we are all equal in His sight.

The Stories We Tell

Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW

Children are wonderfully creative at thinking up stories, in which they are heroic and triumphant. However, when difficulties arise we can lose the ability to tell ourselves a good story with a positive ending.