Self Sabatoge and Secret Affections
- Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC
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A client spoke to me recently about a significant breakthrough. The following is a summary of a direct report: “I can no longer hold others responsible for something that I have secretly loved and set out to obtain. These things are not necessarily sin, but my secret love for them is a sin. I thought the secret of my love for them would not inhibit my obtaining security, belonging and power. Instead it was sabotaging my relationships with others.” “You are not restricted by us. You are restricted by your own affections” (II Corinthians 6:12)
She continued saying: “When I read this, I was shocked by the truth of it in my life. Then God asked me to lay my affections at the altar. The relief was overwhelming. The presence of the Lord was sweet. Letting go released the very sense of security and belonging I had desired most of my life. It was no longer significant if others disagreed in viewpoint, it brought variety. If money was scarce, the truth is there is always enough. On top of that, I already have favor with people. I am so grateful for God’s faithfulness in showing me what He sees in me. I never realized how I was secretly sabotaging myself.”
All secret blaming of people and circumstance does not change the fact that we set our affections on being good, obtaining status or position, or wealth. We realize, with God’s help, that we are the block. All of us have secret affections that feed patterns of behavior. It is these patterns that help or inhibit the very results we long for in our relationships. To say we don’t have secret affections is dishonest. I challenge you to let the Lord be real with you about your secret affections. There is freedom to be obtained.
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