http://pfl.org Practical Family Living articles Practical Family Living articles Practical Family Living no Practical Family Living pulledfromthepit@gmail.com ℗ & © 2021 Practical Family Living Ekklesia 360 Wed, 21 Jul 2021 15:44:30 +0000 720 http://pfl.org/article/calm-a-need-not-a-luxury Wed, 09 Jun 2021 14:56:07 +0000 Ahhh. Calm. It’s essential. It’s essential for growing, good relationships, and creativity. These days we may need a plan to arrive at calm. We can plug neuroscience in here but that can be a rabbit trail when making a case for calm. Just now, we... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/grieving-during-christmas Thu, 05 Dec 2019 16:46:00 +0000 1. Be honest about your grief. 2. Include your loved one in the holiday. Stories shared help include their significance to you. 3. Rituals can be renegotiated. 4. Pay attention to the children. 5. Don’t be surprised at what triggers your... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/a-place-at-the-table-part-1 Thu, 28 Nov 2019 17:01:24 +0000 Dinner time, especially with children, can sometimes be interesting and a place to learn and grow. When our oldest was about eight years old, she went through a phase. Here is her story In her own words: "I went through a stretch of time... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW http://pfl.org/article/messy Thu, 07 Nov 2019 16:59:22 +0000 If appropriate and called upon, figure out how to bring grace and truth to a messy situation. However, watch your boundaries. Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/masks Thu, 31 Oct 2019 18:21:12 +0000 One of the best memories from my favorite childhood vacation place is hanging over the edge of a dock staring into the water. Our faces were reflected perfectly in calm water and distorted in rough water. The same is true of our heart. If our heart is... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/relief Thu, 24 Oct 2019 18:00:07 +0000 Sometimes we can feel overwhelmed and burdened--like the whole world rests on our shoulders. What a relief to realize that we are not responsible for everyone and everything. We are only responsible for what is ours to be responsible for - no more and... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW http://pfl.org/article/seasonal-moods Thu, 17 Oct 2019 16:39:19 +0000 With the season and weather change often comes a change of mood or outlook. Some people enjoy the fall change, some people don't, but regardless, we're all affected by it. Anyone that lives above 73 degrees latitude will likely experience... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/forgiveness Thu, 10 Oct 2019 16:39:38 +0000 Forgiveness is a choice. Forgiveness does not mean we forget the experience or the wrong that was done. Forgiveness does not mean that we must trust that person to do the right thing in the future. It does mean that we have processed the alternatives... Dear Rosa Cheryl Welch, BSN, RN, M.S., LPC Cheryl Welch, BSN, RN, M.S., LPC http://pfl.org/article/listen-and-learn Thu, 03 Oct 2019 15:03:18 +0000 Want to know about someone’s character? Listen to how they talk about people they disagree with. Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/getting-even Thu, 26 Sep 2019 17:17:29 +0000 If we harbor thoughts of getting even with people, those targeted in our minds gain control over us. Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/patient-improvement Thu, 19 Sep 2019 16:56:35 +0000 Having had ancestors who were farmers, it taught me a lot to listen to them talk about growth patterns. Much of the growth begins underground where it is not initially seen. Farmers wait patiently for seeds to sprout, then for improvement in the size... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/a-rigged-game Thu, 12 Sep 2019 16:00:17 +0000 Unless we are careful, we can fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. Someone else’s accomplishments, regardless of how they compare to your own, do not take anything away from you. Dr. Jordan Peterson, renowned psychologist and professor... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW http://pfl.org/article/kindness-and-patience-in-transition Thu, 05 Sep 2019 15:41:27 +0000 We are in a season of transition. Right now it's back to school time and the weather is changing. Whether you're experiencing changes you consider positive or negative, change always takes energy. If your kids have gone back to school... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC back to school http://pfl.org/article/anger Thu, 29 Aug 2019 15:36:06 +0000 Anger is an emotion that each of us have experienced in our lifetime. It seems to be the first emotion grabbed out of the emotional toolbox. Many of us may tend to blame another person or the situation as being the cause of our anger. Would it... Dear Rosa Cheryl Welch, BSN, RN, M.S., LPC Cheryl Welch, BSN, RN, M.S., LPC http://pfl.org/article/what-has-a-hold-on-you Thu, 22 Aug 2019 17:08:01 +0000 Is there something you are holding on to that actually is holding on to you? What is it? Look at it. Is it doing any good to hold on to it? Is it truly protecting you, or keeping you safe in some way? Or is it putting part of you in a dark place?... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/quiet-time Thu, 15 Aug 2019 16:22:44 +0000 One of my favorite times of the day is early morning. The house is quiet. Coffee is in the cup. The only things alive and moving are the birds. This time is restorative, reflective, and renews me for the day ahead. Some of you know what I am talking... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/stay-aware-be-adventurous Thu, 08 Aug 2019 20:02:01 +0000 Recently, I had the pleasure of meeting an adventurist. She traveled throughout the world hiking through desert canyons, climbing mountains, and cycling across continents. She shared with me some of the challenges she faced and how she overcame... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW http://pfl.org/article/learning-to-relax Thu, 01 Aug 2019 19:55:08 +0000 There's a part of our brain that we can liken to a fire alarm. This part of us is always scanning our environment for danger. This is also the part that gets us stressed out. And when this part is triggered the muscles of our body tense. It might... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/how-can-i-communicate-effectively Thu, 25 Jul 2019 19:57:32 +0000 Have you ever wondered why you at times feel like you are not being heard or understood? Do you ever find yourself getting angry in conversations or feeling attacked? Take a moment to think about how a topic is approached. Are there swear words... Dear Rosa Cheryl Welch, BSN, RN, M.S., LPC Cheryl Welch, BSN, RN, M.S., LPC http://pfl.org/article/emotional-intelligence Thu, 18 Jul 2019 16:05:44 +0000 One definition: The ability to recognize emotion in yourself and others. It is something some have naturally and others genuinely do not. Emotional intelligence can be used for good or not so good just like other forms of insight and understanding... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/the-call-of-wisdom Thu, 11 Jul 2019 15:20:24 +0000 Did you know wisdom calls to you? Yup...her voice is continuous and unending. She asks you for a listening ear, challenges you to nurture understanding, and remain willing to receive correction. You have three choices: You can ignore her, turn on her... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/without-regret Thu, 04 Jul 2019 18:30:02 +0000 Once a year, my family and I go to a remote place to where my aunt lives. Although the drive is much longer than the actual time we spend with her, those visits are precious and always memorable. We are enjoying her while we can. There are no... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW http://pfl.org/article/breathe-yes-breathe Thu, 27 Jun 2019 18:04:53 +0000 Are you breathing? That may seem like a funny question but I think many of us would be surprised by how often we hold our breath. And then, if you take time to notice when you are breathing, how shallow are your breaths? The majority of us breathe... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/the-benefits-of-laughter Thu, 20 Jun 2019 16:04:18 +0000 We all experience stress in our lives. When you are feeling stressed, don’t reach for a medication or pill, but take time to just laugh. A good old belly laugh will release your own endorphins while stress hormones (adrenaline and cortisol)... Dear Rosa Cheryl Welch, BSN, RN, M.S., LPC Cheryl Welch, BSN, RN, M.S., LPC http://pfl.org/article/grumbling Thu, 13 Jun 2019 19:30:59 +0000 There is a grumbling that some do for fun or for an attempt to vacate bad feelings: usually when the subject isn't present and others are. It doesn’t work for you to express personal disgust with something or someone that “hits you wrong.”... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/finding-courage Thu, 06 Jun 2019 18:00:16 +0000 On a recent trip out west, my daughter asked if she could ride a bull. Thinking it was a mechanical bull in which there was padding all around and plenty of safety precautions, Dad said yes. It was not until we were in the stands waiting for her in... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW http://pfl.org/article/stewardship Thu, 30 May 2019 17:25:51 +0000 Hearing the word stewardship brings to mind appropriate principles in the obtaining and maintaining of healthy finances. However, relationships need the same care, planning, and wise decisions to keep them healthy. Flourishing relationships involve... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/stop-and-breathe Thu, 23 May 2019 16:22:37 +0000 When you have those moments you feel stressed and anxious, take a few seconds and breathe. Then count your teeth with your tongue. This process can bring focus and decrease the anxiety. Try it!! Dear Rosa Cheryl Welch, BSN, RN, M.S., LPC Cheryl Welch, BSN, RN, M.S., LPC http://pfl.org/article/we-need-sleep Thu, 16 May 2019 15:12:36 +0000 How's your sleep? Adults need between 7 and 9 hours of sleep each night to be physically and mentally healthy. (Kids and teens need more.) If you're going through a stressful period or are female, you likely need closer to nine hours. The... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/laughter-as-medicine Thu, 02 May 2019 18:03:54 +0000 Studies suggest that humor and laughing have good things in store for us mentally and physically. These two things can relieve pain, strengthen the immune system, help with stress, and make people contact very pleasant. Let’s seek humor and laughter... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/diligent Thu, 25 Apr 2019 17:44:03 +0000 A “diligent” person...to be “diligent” means we take painstaking effort at something or with someone. Diligence relationally means we make great effort to learn about or be with another as the relationship develops. Not knowing the future while... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/no-texting Thu, 18 Apr 2019 14:35:37 +0000 Texting has become a way of life, but can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, anger, judgments, and the list goes on. When there is a serious topic you want to cover with someone, get on the phone and call them or talk to them in person... Dear Rosa Cheryl Welch, BSN, RN, M.S., LPC Cheryl Welch, BSN, RN, M.S., LPC http://pfl.org/article/perfectionism-is-not-a-strength Thu, 11 Apr 2019 16:33:12 +0000 Over the years, I have had the privilege of counseling many talented and gifted men, women and children. An all too-common concern is perfectionism. Perfectionism chokes off dreams and aspirations. It comes with the unrealistic idea that we have to... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW http://pfl.org/article/hold-the-line Thu, 04 Apr 2019 15:22:20 +0000 We all have situations in our life that are just difficult. And sometimes we get so tired and we just want to give up, give in, or go back to the old way of doing things. We wonder whether it's worth the fight or not. But it is. It always is. We... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/i-just-had-a-fender-bender Thu, 28 Mar 2019 15:12:43 +0000 Truly, three hours ago. My fault entirely. I realize in this that I’ve grown. I’m analyzing but not overly so. I’m not obsessing about what’s next. I’m letting go and looking at what God has for all concerned. I’m looking forward to a nice day. Phew... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/relational-adventure Thu, 21 Mar 2019 18:55:43 +0000 People go to great lengths in relationship to maintain what they believe to be true about their perspective and experience. Natural as it is to preserve what we believe to be true, it can also deny the very experience and perspective of someone we... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/honesty-a Thu, 14 Mar 2019 17:37:15 +0000 I think we have all learned about the importance of honesty. The most important person to be honest with is yourself. Honesty is closely related to being open to constructive criticism. Without being honest with yourself, it is difficult to grow and... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW http://pfl.org/article/if-onlya Thu, 07 Mar 2019 17:16:21 +0000 If only he would get his act together. If only she would knock it off. If only I had a different job. At any point in our lives we can probably come up with some sort of "if only" statement that we feel would make our lives better. However... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/shame-and-shutdown Thu, 28 Feb 2019 21:05:25 +0000 “Shame is a natural reaction to being violated or abused. In fact, abuse, by its very nature, is humiliating and dehumanizing.” (Kaufman) This is especially true with nasty group or individual opinions (bullying) and so-called minor sexual violations... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/long-life Thu, 14 Feb 2019 18:15:39 +0000 Remaining positive in our dog-eat-dog kind of world is no easy task. Studies in the field of neuroscience tell us that giving to others increases our ability to live longer, think happier thoughts, increases our self-esteem and physically improves our... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/emotions Thu, 07 Feb 2019 17:01:54 +0000 Current culture emphasizes a logical, rational way of thinking and being, and with good reason. Hotheads can get us into a lot of trouble. However, this has translated into a devaluing of emotion. Emotions are important though. We are all fueled by... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/make-a-commitment Thu, 31 Jan 2019 19:01:31 +0000 Here’s how you give and receive commitment: 1. Respond to bids to connect. Put down the phone, look and listen. 2. Work through struggles together with a team mentality. Keep a struggle as a thing to overcome together not a “whose to... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/what-people-need Thu, 24 Jan 2019 18:49:46 +0000 Dr. Caroline Leaf makes an amazing comment. “Every cell in our bodies is designed to respond to love.” As a cognitive neuroscientist, she understands the reality of what people need to thrive. Behaviors that help anyone thrive is those which originate... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/a-curious-case-of-mistaken-identity-knowing-who-you-are Thu, 17 Jan 2019 17:23:56 +0000 A few years ago, our oldest daughter was mistaken for someone else. The following is her recount of the incident in her own words: “During my second semester of college, I arrived at school late. I had my backpack, purse, lunchbox, and thermos... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW http://pfl.org/article/be-kind-to-yourself Thu, 10 Jan 2019 16:20:41 +0000 The holidays are over and maybe you feel like you can breathe again. This period brings highs and lows, stresses and joys, and many more things than we are usually carrying. Whether the holidays were mostly positive or negative now is the time to... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/blame-does-not-heal Thu, 03 Jan 2019 15:50:58 +0000 Blame may help your hurting for a short time. It will not heal your unrest in the long run. Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/aware Thu, 27 Dec 2018 15:40:17 +0000 Healing begins when we admit what we are doing that sets us up for relational pain or plain turmoil in life. I read the following earlier this year. “When you are amazed at the lengths to which you go to cover up your wrong actions, you are witness... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/your-best Thu, 20 Dec 2018 18:23:53 +0000 You are worthy. You are significant. You are valuable beyond measure. And you are worth your best effort...in everything you do. Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW http://pfl.org/article/love-others-change-yourself Thu, 13 Dec 2018 18:05:30 +0000 If you're up on any healthy relationship psychology at all then you will know that the only person you can change is yourself. We cannot change other people. However, we can have influence. And one of the best ways to have influence is to get out... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/is-life-confusing Thu, 06 Dec 2018 16:35:15 +0000 There are times in life when things seem confusing. The way out is not looking for what or who is wrong. If you wait and watch, a new way through is probably at hand. Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/undermined Thu, 29 Nov 2018 19:34:11 +0000 The holiday season is in full swing. Being swayed by advertising, what others think or crave seemingly comes much easier. Identify and focus on what your core values are: honest exchanges of appreciation, enjoyable time with those you love, and so... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/building-fencespruning-hedges-part-2 Thu, 22 Nov 2018 22:18:35 +0000 As with taking care of any plant, removing dead or damaged pieces is important for growing and healing. You are allowed to remove dead or damaging habits from your life. You are allowed to remove dead or damaging patterns from your life. You are... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW http://pfl.org/article/heal-thy-brain Thu, 15 Nov 2018 18:19:05 +0000 The brain is an amazing thing. Just as with a cut on our skin, our brain is wired to heal itself. And as we know with cuts, we need to clean them out, put ointment on them, and bandage them up. Similarly, the brain needs the right ingredients to heal... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/stress-and-sleep Wed, 31 Oct 2018 14:59:10 +0000 The average amount of sleep that a person needs is 7 to 9 hours. People who are stressed need more sleep. Regardless of where your stress is coming from, be sure to go slow and be kind to yourself and others. Stress and change are hard! Don't... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/building-fencespruning-hedges-part-1 Thu, 25 Oct 2018 17:45:39 +0000 It is said “good fences make good neighbors”. In some places, land is physically separated by a fence; this is a literal boundary. Establishing internal boundaries in relationships is as important as establishing external boundaries. With clearly... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW http://pfl.org/article/enjoy-learning Thu, 04 Oct 2018 16:02:18 +0000 One behavior or attitude that's proven to be encouraging is those who truly enjoy learning. Why? It shows they know they have much to learn, realize their limitations, and treat people around them with respect. I want to be one of those types of... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/a-view-from-30000-feet Thu, 27 Sep 2018 15:39:47 +0000 As parents, we have one of the most valuable jobs in society. Children make mistakes that can have devastating consequences. Because we have more life experience, we are able to see the world from 30,000 feet in the air. As children grow, they are... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW http://pfl.org/article/love-your-anger Thu, 20 Sep 2018 16:31:28 +0000 I love anger. It's one of my favorite emotions. A lot of people think anger is bad but anger serves a very significant purpose. Anger is a message from our body and soul that something is off. Sometimes someone has stepped over our boundaries... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/wise-communication Thu, 06 Sep 2018 15:46:54 +0000 Interacting with those around us on a daily basis is automatic. To make talking simple, there are two choices we have. We can speak poison or life. Reality is, it’s our choice. This reality is sobering. It speaks to the truth that we make choices all... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/you-are-being-watched Thu, 30 Aug 2018 15:07:59 +0000 As a parent, have you ever felt as though your words have fallen on deaf ears? Even when our children do not seem to be listening to us or taking our advice—rest assured they are listening and watching. The words we speak and the tone of voice we use... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW http://pfl.org/article/help-your-brain Thu, 23 Aug 2018 15:36:52 +0000 I recently saw a picture comparing two brain scans. One brain criticized daily and the other practiced gratitude daily. Long story short, the brain that criticized had holes in it. The brain that practiced gratitude was full and lively. It just felt... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/honoring-choices Thu, 16 Aug 2018 14:53:54 +0000 We have all been faced with situations where no matter what good is given, mean words and behaviors are returned. This type of individual seems invested in viewing good through the lens of suspicion. Just writing these words brings sadness of heart... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/competitioncomparison Thu, 09 Aug 2018 15:01:32 +0000 Competition and comparison can run rampant in your head. It is draining to sort out how to set yourself apart in a world full of people. The cure for this is to find out who you are specially made to be and get into alignment with it and your maker... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/a-word-about-apologizing Thu, 02 Aug 2018 15:34:38 +0000 Apologizing is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strong character. Sometimes apologizing — not only for what we have done but for how it has affected the other person — improves relationships. A person’s strength of character is best seen with how... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW http://pfl.org/article/relationship-wisdom Thu, 26 Jul 2018 15:19:39 +0000 Relationships can be wonderful and they can be very difficult. When things are going well, be sure to take time to notice what's going well and the things you appreciate about the other person. That way, when it's difficult you'll have... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/choices Thu, 19 Jul 2018 16:10:48 +0000 Don't make decisions based on those who think the choice is a good one; base it on whether or not you will go against or for your conscience. Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/forgiveness-means-we-recognize-our-humanity Thu, 12 Jul 2018 17:03:22 +0000 If you are human, you will be less than perfect. You will hurt those you say you love with some consistency. To insist otherwise is to elevate yourself and your ways above another AND this stance is filled with pride, self-centeredness, and results in... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/you-first Thu, 05 Jul 2018 18:19:06 +0000 Feeling overwhelmed? Overworked? Under appreciated? As schedules overflow, the first thing pushed aside is our self care. We make excuses for not exercising, eating poorly and being sleep deprived. While these seem to be solutions to our time crunch... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW http://pfl.org/article/its-summer Thu, 28 Jun 2018 15:21:13 +0000 It's summer! And with summer comes transition. More time outside. Maybe kids at home. Schedule changes. Vacations. All change whether positive or negative takes psychological energy. Be sure to take care of yourself and your loved ones during... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/can-i-fix-it Thu, 21 Jun 2018 19:28:40 +0000 Are you one of those who believe if you work hard enough toward a personal problem you can fix it? Some research indicates, for example, 35% of marital issues will not change. (Gottman, et.al.) If in fact this research is true, the axiom: “let go and... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/dirty-feet-relationship-toxicty Thu, 14 Jun 2018 14:57:19 +0000 I was sharing some family struggles with a dear friend. She quietly pointed out the relationship was toxic to me. When we hear “toxic”, we usually think of something outside of us. To overcome the relationship toxicity, I had to construct physical... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW http://pfl.org/article/if-only Thu, 07 Jun 2018 15:35:01 +0000 Phrases run through our minds that are a natural part of the grief process as well as a part of transitioning from one phase of life to another. One of those phrases begins with two words. “If only....” As natural as they are, lingering on these... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/real-freedom Thu, 31 May 2018 16:31:01 +0000 Real freedom is quoted by John Baker (founder of Celebrate Recovery) as being “..free to NOT do the things that keep us in bondage.” What keeps you in bondage metaphorically? Anxiety? Shame? Guilt? Pride? Dishonesty? I could go on and on. Real... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/navigating-relationships Thu, 24 May 2018 16:00:25 +0000 All relationships with our loved ones give us high highs and low lows. And as with any bumpy ride having navigation help is a must. In our house we came up with this model: "Use words, Get space, Get help." If the first doesn't work, we... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/you-are-loved Thu, 17 May 2018 16:10:42 +0000 The very thing that you think disqualifies you from God is a gateway to Him…including a deep, deep understanding of how much you are loved… Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/wisdoms-voice Thu, 10 May 2018 16:19:40 +0000 We all know truth when we hear it. It’s the deep down inside voice that encourages us in the right direction. Reading about the relationship between a shepherd and his sheep, all the shepherd has to do is call or whistle for his sheep and they come... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/being-true-to-who-you-are Thu, 03 May 2018 15:46:49 +0000 My grandmother was an easy person to be around. Those who knew her longer than I, said they never saw her depressed or anxious. I remember whenever we visited her, there would be a stream of guests. She had what we later called a “breakfast club” that... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW http://pfl.org/article/dont-panic Thu, 26 Apr 2018 15:44:06 +0000 Every day things happen and we respond. Sometimes they’re fun and positive and we feel good. Sometimes they’re dark and stressful and we feel down and under attack. When we encounter these things our bodies respond as if we are in danger. Our heart... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/a-cup-of-energy Wed, 25 Apr 2018 16:55:35 +0000 We need energy to survive. It’s why we eat when needed. There is a need too for emotional/ spiritual energy. That’s why we need rest, prayer, laughter and down time. We can’t give from an empty cup. Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/all-things-used Thu, 12 Apr 2018 15:46:58 +0000 Part of the growth process is the reality that any event or circumstance can be used for our betterment or our demise. Simplistic as it sounds, it is true. A disagreement, a job change, a move, or even a loss can prove to better us or embitter us... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/the-true-winner Thu, 05 Apr 2018 17:02:45 +0000 The true winner of any conflict is not the one who speaks the loudest, makes the most points, but the one who takes the highest moral plane. Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW http://pfl.org/article/being-kind Thu, 29 Mar 2018 18:41:08 +0000 We all have anxiety, depression, and stress at one time or another in our lives. There are many things that can help alleviate these issues, one of which is self-compassion. When we are kind to ourselves it allows us to relax and to extend that... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/having-an-argument Thu, 22 Mar 2018 16:11:08 +0000 Find a way to step away from the heat of it for twenty minutes. Give your body, mind, and spirit a break. One cannot be rational when the fight or flight hormones kick in. Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC argument,break,fight,relationship http://pfl.org/article/saying-no-to-yourself Thu, 08 Mar 2018 15:02:15 +0000 Candidly, I love saying yes to myself; yes to what I want to do, be, have, and where I wish to go. This is certainly doable. However, it is not beneficial. When one chooses this path, it means a life without deprivation. The end result may be to live... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC balance,lonely,no,self-focus,yes http://pfl.org/article/courage-stand-up Thu, 15 Feb 2018 18:53:57 +0000 As a mother, I have tried to teach my girls to stand up for themselves and others when need be. Additionally, I have tried to teach them to listen before they react because they may not know everything about the situation. In the words of Winston... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW behavior,brave,conquor,courage http://pfl.org/article/are-you-breathing Thu, 08 Feb 2018 18:57:59 +0000 Take a moment to notice what's going on in your body. What's your heart doing? How's your breathing? Are you calm inside or agitated? Checking in with our body can give us important information about what's going on inside us... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC breathe,calm,notice,pay attention,present http://pfl.org/article/relationship-indicators Thu, 25 Jan 2018 16:03:53 +0000 There are many indicators of friendship or family relationships going bad. Here are a few: 1. The goodness is gone. 2. There is an abundance of criticism. 3. It is all about the other person. However, when things are not satisfactory in... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC connected,connection,coworker,family,feeling,freind,god,neighbor,relationship,reminder http://pfl.org/article/attitude-of-gratitude Thu, 11 Jan 2018 16:29:51 +0000 Early January is the time of year most people determine their personal or professional goals for the year. Blame it on age, if you wish, but a goal this year is to develop an attitude where I see and express thankfulness for who/what is in my life... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC goal,goal setting,new year,thankful,new year new you http://pfl.org/article/stay-connected Thu, 04 Jan 2018 19:57:36 +0000 Over the holiday season, you may have had a chance to reconnect with family and friends. You may have promised “let’s get together again soon” or “let’s not wait a whole year.” Although it can be easy to allow busyness to interfere and another year to... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW connected,connection,coworker,family,feeling,freind,god,neighbor,relationship,reminder http://pfl.org/article/the-holidays-are-almost-over Thu, 28 Dec 2017 17:35:16 +0000 Whether this is a relief, a sadness, or bittersweet there is always a lot tied to this season. A lot of preparation, thought, emotion, get togethers, and parties. Now that it's over, take time to renew. Enjoy the positive memories, give grace to... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC celebrate,christmas,holidays,new year,nye,party,renew,rest http://pfl.org/article/the-best-traits Thu, 14 Dec 2017 16:53:08 +0000 When asked, college students have shared that the most wonderful people in their lives: "are generous, there when we have fallen, show a depth of kindness that inspires us, and laugh from a place of wisdom and peace." Most of us could share... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC admire,coach,love others,mentee,mentor,trust http://pfl.org/article/the-fruit-of-life Thu, 07 Dec 2017 17:13:58 +0000 Each fruit tree or bush has a particular DNA that reveals the fruit it provides. The same is true for people. The fruit of our lives will reveal our heart. What does the fruit of your life reveal about you? Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/a-simple-reminder Thu, 30 Nov 2017 23:30:16 +0000 For years, clinical researchers have asserted that the psychological origin of anxiety is not FEELING connected to others. (As opposed to anxiety with a physiological origin) When in truth, we all have connections to God, family, friends, neighbors... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW connected,connection,coworker,family,feeling,god,neighbor,relationship,reminder,freind http://pfl.org/article/what-you-say-to-yourself-matters Thu, 23 Nov 2017 18:24:41 +0000 The things we tell ourselves determine how we act and feel. For a few hours today notice what you tell yourself about yourself and about your life. If your thoughts are negative, you likely feel negative and then choose actions that support feeling... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/the-problem-with-a-grudge Thu, 16 Nov 2017 23:38:08 +0000 Forgiveness unlocks the jail door that keeps relationships stuck. The problem with a grudge is, the person holding it does not tell the so-called offending person they are holding it. It’s a secret sentence. The opportunity for a forgiving exchange... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/people-of-conviction Thu, 02 Nov 2017 16:20:48 +0000 Convictions are born out of what we come to know as truth about life, ourselves, and others. Some may think we are crazy to hold fast to our beliefs and values. Despite the varied views abroad, trust what you have learned is true. Dare to be a person... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/close-enough Thu, 26 Oct 2017 17:13:56 +0000 My father was a highly educated and accomplished man, particularly for his generation. Even so, there were no airs about him. He was very down to earth, friendly to everyone and easy to be around. One of the traits that made him so easy to be around... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW challenge,good enough,grow,learn,limits,mistakes,wrong http://pfl.org/article/a-good-story Thu, 19 Oct 2017 16:13:46 +0000 We all came from somewhere and we're all headed in some direction. We all have a story and our stories determine who we are. Be courageous and own your story instead of hiding from it. Engage the pain, experience the joy, and use these things to... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/take-a-moment-please Thu, 12 Oct 2017 15:02:25 +0000 Moms are made to nurture. Often in the red zone of busy, moms really don’t care about stress reduction. Even in the most insane day, lots can be done to lower stress and it’s good to lower it for those you nurture and their nurturer; you. ... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/keeping-secrets Thu, 05 Oct 2017 16:52:46 +0000 We all like knowing we are well thought of. A good reputation is built over time and maintained by continuing the same work that got us there. Revealing another person’s secret to a third party (without permission) is a sure way to undermine the very... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/something-different Thu, 28 Sep 2017 16:37:37 +0000 We all have habits and patterns, including how we interact with others. We even get into patterns of acting and reacting to one another, especially with those close to us. The closer someone is, the more patterns of interaction there are. Simply put... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW http://pfl.org/article/choose-to-live-and-love Thu, 21 Sep 2017 15:11:59 +0000 Overload. Embarrassment. Betrayal. Rejection. Loss. Inadequacy. These, among many others, work to keep us disconnected. Hidden. Alone. For as painful as these things are it makes sense that we often desire to hide, to remain disconnected from our... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/youll-not-know-it-but-ill-get-you-back Thu, 14 Sep 2017 16:01:16 +0000 Masking angry feelings, a loved one can act them out in deliberate, but hidden ways. The child who is angry at his mother but fears expressing himself directly may pretend not to hear her when she calls him for dinner or may choose to complete his... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC big boy pants,big girl pants,control,frustrated,pride,task http://pfl.org/article/building-confidence Thu, 07 Sep 2017 15:48:28 +0000 Encourage your child to think about what their thoughts are on any given topic. Take time to validate what is true without demeaning them for what may not be true. Elementary children are literal, black-and-white thinkers so validating them helps them... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC behavior,brave,conquor,courage http://pfl.org/article/restlessness Thu, 24 Aug 2017 15:15:10 +0000 That mental, emotional, and physical sensation of not being settled. Maybe life is up in the air or it's been stagnant for too long. The best remedy is to take time to reconnect with oneself. Get some space to reflect and ponder what's... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC edgy,peace,restless,unsettled http://pfl.org/article/ill-get-you-back Thu, 17 Aug 2017 15:39:43 +0000 “Man’s anger does not produce what God wants.” (James 1:20) Have you ever sat back and watched someone “go off the rails” with anger? If it is aimed at you and you know you don’t deserve it (not that “deserves it” is tenable) you may watch in... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC anger,apologies,bitterness,defensive,discontent,healing,hope,hurt,offense,resentment http://pfl.org/article/look-beyond Thu, 10 Aug 2017 14:09:46 +0000 There is tremendous value in looking beyond what people say and do to the possible condition of their heart. Despite my life’s work of providing counseling, like anyone, this is a tough shift both in our thinking and acting. One fact that IS real is... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC communication,direct,soften,speak,talk,words http://pfl.org/article/something-so-simpleyet-challenging Thu, 03 Aug 2017 16:09:53 +0000 An essential ingredient for a healthy marriage is being willing to work at it and to refuse to allow bitterness to take root. Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW bitter,love,marriage http://pfl.org/article/anger-good-or-bad Thu, 27 Jul 2017 15:14:20 +0000 Anger itself is not good or bad. It often gets a bad rap but anger is a psycho-biochemical response that gives us information to help us respond appropriately in specific situations. The problem with anger results from our interpretation and... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC anger,angry,change,charge,fight,response,selfcare http://pfl.org/article/cherish-those-you-love Thu, 20 Jul 2017 14:57:26 +0000 A few smiling moments with your loved ones can change your day. A string of them can change your life. (Edited from J. Gottman) Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/rude Thu, 13 Jul 2017 15:01:40 +0000 Answering before listening is both stupid and rude. It reveals our focus on our self, our own argument and need to win. A person of understanding waits, listens, provides feedback focused on the theme of what has been shared, then moves on with their... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/words Thu, 06 Jul 2017 16:18:38 +0000 The closer we are to someone the more our words can hurt or heal. Let your words be like a healing balm in your loved ones’ lives today. Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW blunt,communication,direct,soften,speak,talk,words http://pfl.org/article/finding-peace Thu, 29 Jun 2017 15:32:47 +0000 Find your peace. We live in a frantic world. It's easy to get caught up in the crazy that's around us. But, in order to have a satisfying and peaceful life we need to stop. Often. A few times a day take a break and notice the world around... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC notice,peace,peaceful,relax,stop,smell the roses http://pfl.org/article/money-troubles Thu, 22 Jun 2017 15:08:46 +0000 Are you in a relationship where you argue about money? Though some studies show it’s a huge relational problem, arguments concerning money aren’t really about money. Money in relationship settings is symbolic of safety and power. It is important... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC fear,influence,power,safety,security,money problems http://pfl.org/article/forever-student Thu, 15 Jun 2017 15:44:08 +0000 Who out there loves to be “wrong?” I don’t! Yet, allowing the possibility of being wrong in thought and behavior, insists on challenging us with our limitations and a need to be comfortable as a forever student. Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC challenge,grow,learn,limits,mistakes,wrong,push the limits http://pfl.org/article/how-are-you-treated Thu, 01 Jun 2017 15:32:48 +0000 The way others treat you is not a reflection of who you are – it is a reflection of who they are. Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW http://pfl.org/article/freedom-from-frustration Thu, 25 May 2017 15:42:11 +0000 Somedays it’s difficult not to be frustrated with the world and the people around us. “Why won’t they think and act right?? I’ve put on my big boy/girl pants! Why can’t they?!” It’s okay to feel this way for a bit, but not for long because pride and... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC control,frustrated,pride,task,big girl pants,big boy pants http://pfl.org/article/but-im-the-nice-one Thu, 18 May 2017 15:25:52 +0000 People hide anger from themselves. They do this because they’ve learned to believe that only nice, hard-working, focused (unknowingly usually stubborn) people are “good.” Being unaware of being angry does not mean that one is not angry. It is the... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC anger,apologies,bitterness,defensive,discontent,healing,hope,hurt,offense,resentment http://pfl.org/article/the-right-way Thu, 11 May 2017 15:33:43 +0000 We all have truth that exists in our perspectives. Insisting on our perspective as the correct view short-circuits the life of any relationship; personal or professional. The truth in each person’s perspective is real and to be respected. Searching... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC correct,perspective,real,respect,right,true,truth http://pfl.org/article/communication-101 Thu, 04 May 2017 15:24:01 +0000 When I was in graduate school one of my professors asked the class, “Can you ever not communicate with a loved one?” There was silence among us, followed by numerous philosophical answers. Finally, he answered his own question and explained, “You... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW blunt,communication,direct,soften,speak,talk,words http://pfl.org/article/being-human Thu, 27 Apr 2017 16:33:12 +0000 You're allowed to be human. You're value does not come from what you do, but from who you are. You have worth simply because you exist. Enjoy being a human "being" today. Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC being,human,human being,value,worth,just be http://pfl.org/article/patience-in-progress Thu, 20 Apr 2017 16:16:18 +0000 "Progress in relationships, business, family; comes in steps, not lightening strikes." Harry Bosch Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC business,family,progress,relationship http://pfl.org/article/overwhelmed Thu, 13 Apr 2017 15:00:28 +0000 Who doesn’t feel overwhelmed these days? So many options, issues, relationships, and tasks demand our attention every day. Here is a simple reminder that just may maintain a bit of sanity. It’s simple but rarely used: Pause, Process options, then Proceed. Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC demand,overwhelmed,sanity,stress http://pfl.org/article/thanks-a-lot Thu, 06 Apr 2017 14:30:47 +0000 Our physical bodies are greatly impacted by our emotions. According to research, positive emotions such as gratitude, compassion, and love not only feel good but are also good for our physical body. Our bodily systems work better and are more... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW compassion,emotions,gratitude,health,love,thank you,thanks http://pfl.org/article/shame-and-guilt Thu, 30 Mar 2017 15:05:55 +0000 Shame and guilt are different. Guilt says, "I did something wrong" and causes us to turn to the other person and desire to make it right. Shame says, "I am made wrong" and it causes us to turn away from others. We are made for... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC guilt,love,relationship,right,shame,wrong http://pfl.org/article/conflict-happens Thu, 23 Mar 2017 15:44:14 +0000 Conflict is normal and natural because differences in "wiring" are normal and natural. The absence of conflict is not the goal of a relationship. Getting through differences to the other side without contempt is the marker of a healthy... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC agree,argue,conflict,difference,different,disagree,fight,relationship goal http://pfl.org/article/courageous Thu, 16 Mar 2017 15:41:59 +0000 Courage is a thought, emotion, statement or behavior that propels you forward. Ingesting it brings you to a place of alertness and mental clarity. Whether or not you succeed is not the point. The point is to keep moving forward. Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC behavior,brave,courage,conquor http://pfl.org/article/oh-how-humbling Thu, 09 Mar 2017 14:36:42 +0000 Recently, I was wrestling with a software program used for bookkeeping. Struggling for more than an hour, I relented and called tech support. The technician’s name was Kay. I was barely able to keep my impatience and irritation out of my voice as I... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW blessing,humbling,irritation,impatitent,iritated,thought provoking http://pfl.org/article/the-power-of-words Thu, 02 Mar 2017 16:10:31 +0000 If you're like me, sometimes it can be easy to forget the power of words. Different words are powerful to different people. Everyone has a speaking style and some of the more blunt types can forget to soften, and feeling types can forget to be... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC blunt,communication,direct,soften,speak,talk,words http://pfl.org/article/be-strong Thu, 23 Feb 2017 16:18:47 +0000 We are designed to know truth when we hear it. Truth brings clarity of thought and provides strength by giving us a principle or thought to seize onto. Grab it and make it yours. This practice will carry you through. Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/miss-but-dont-miss Thu, 16 Feb 2017 20:16:25 +0000 A thing about remembering loved ones gone, is that the missing of them is powerful. We need to honor that. In the missing of those gone, we must also be sharply open to NOT miss those who are here. Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC death,gone,grief,loved one,missing,remember http://pfl.org/article/letting-go Thu, 09 Feb 2017 16:01:37 +0000 Many reading this will believe that letting go means the other person wins or they condone the behavior as ok. This is hardly the case. Letting go is acknowledging things to be what they are. Letting go is embracing your powerlessness to influence... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC boundaries,demanding,give in,give up,let it go,relationships,self-respect http://pfl.org/article/positive-aspects-of-hope Thu, 02 Feb 2017 16:13:06 +0000 In the past decade, there have been numerous studies on hope, and science has simply affirmed what God's word has already encouraged us to do. Researchers have discovered that when a person has hope there is a positive physiological effect on... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW faithful,hope,hopeful,joy,joyful,patient,prayer http://pfl.org/article/managing-emotions Thu, 26 Jan 2017 16:19:02 +0000 Emotions can be difficult to manage. Sometimes they crash over us like gigantic waves, other times they aren't there when they should be. Emotions are valuable messages. If we can learn to listen to them and allow ourselves to feel them... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC emotion,emotional,joy,surprise,upset http://pfl.org/article/is-this-just-my-imagination Thu, 19 Jan 2017 16:29:04 +0000 REMEMBER, we don’t “make” another person do the things they do. If you are being blamed for another’s behavior, it’s a sign of immaturity at least and serious abuse at most. Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC anger,apologies,bitterness,defensive,discontent,healing,hope,hurt,offense,resentment http://pfl.org/article/greener-grass Thu, 12 Jan 2017 16:15:23 +0000 It is easy to view the lives of others as seeming so much better than our own. However, comparing rarely is helpful. Comparing is easy to do but definitely not beneficial. In reality, all people have concerns and issues that weigh on them. Some are... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC compare,covet,not fair http://pfl.org/article/happy-new-year Thu, 05 Jan 2017 16:12:05 +0000 With the New Year comes the desire to change. However, it's not uncommon to be a bit jaded because we know that these changes often don't stick. But, God is bringing us from glory to glory. So, this year, be encouraged to trust the process... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC change,new,new year,process,resolution http://pfl.org/article/he-is-our-hope Thu, 29 Dec 2016 15:27:27 +0000 Throughout the Bible, we are encouraged to place our faith and trust in The Lord because He is our hope. According to Baker's Evangelical Dictionary of Biblical Theology, the definition for hope is "To trust in, wait for, look for, or desire... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW faithful,hope,hopeful,joy,joyful,patient,prayer http://pfl.org/article/give-it-up Thu, 22 Dec 2016 17:03:58 +0000 Is there something you'd really rather hang on to even if it's not the best for you? What is it? My friend does not want to give up rage. The delusion is it protects. Unless we give up the destructive, we have no way of realizing the productive. Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC anger,hang on,protect,protection,rage http://pfl.org/article/the-effects-of-aging Thu, 22 Dec 2016 18:20:25 +0000 Getting Older is the Reality of Living but for some of us we go fighting and screaming into the aging stage of life. It seems as we move into our fifties we realize we have wrinkles, graying and thinning hair, arms that jiggle, the tone of the voice... Christmas 2016, Volume 23, Issue 5 Cheryl Welch, BSN, RN, M.S., LPC Cheryl Welch, BSN, RN, M.S., LPC http://pfl.org/article/self-compassion-vs-self-destruction Thu, 22 Dec 2016 18:16:45 +0000 We live in the most in-debt, obese, addicted, and medicated adult cohort in history, according to researcher Brene Brown. We can easily find a multitude of ways – Facebook, sugar, pornography, alcohol, etc. - to numb our... Christmas 2016, Volume 23, Issue 5 Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/being-blessed Thu, 22 Dec 2016 18:13:12 +0000 Recently, I was wrestling with a software program used for bookkeeping. Struggling for more than an hour, I relented and called tech support. The technician’s name was Kay. I was barely able to keep my impatience and irritation out of my voice as I... Christmas 2016, Volume 23, Issue 5 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW http://pfl.org/article/jesus-savior-pilot-me Thu, 22 Dec 2016 18:11:36 +0000 Feeling a plane lift off the ground releases a myriad of emotions. Watching the ground fall further away, I am reminded of my powerlessness in which to keep the plane from continuing its journey to the next destination. Having made the choice to go... Christmas 2016, Volume 23, Issue 5 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/changes-at-practical-family-living Thu, 22 Dec 2016 18:07:32 +0000 Those who are newer to the PFL team love to hear stories of the early days when Lynda and Paul would record the programs in a make-shift basement studio. So much has changed in radio and media since those early years. Have you noticed the recent media... Christmas 2016, Volume 23, Issue 5 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/ask Thu, 15 Dec 2016 18:44:43 +0000 A = Accepting we are not all knowing or all powerful sounds like a no-brainer. However, our pride often inhibits our ability to accept the reality of our need. Accept your limitations. S = Searching out requires giving voice to your need or question... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC answers,ask,boundaries,family,limitations,pride,proud,search,shame http://pfl.org/article/holding-on-to-hope Thu, 08 Dec 2016 15:26:03 +0000 "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." ~Romans 12:12 NIV When I was in graduate school, my favorite professor was Dr. Bob Castagnola. Although he taught different techniques to use when working with clients... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW faithful,hope,hopeful,joy,joyful,patient,prayer http://pfl.org/article/yes-or-no Thu, 01 Dec 2016 17:17:36 +0000 When to say no and when to say yes? What a question! A simple way to figure this out is, will it cause you pain or inconvenience? Is it a one-time thing or a repeated pattern? If the other person got to live the consequences, would it help them grow?... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC attitude,breathe,pause,relax,slow down,too fast http://pfl.org/article/a-thank-ful-thanksgiving Wed, 23 Nov 2016 18:56:41 +0000 With our country's political climate turbulent, many will find themselves around tables with people of different opinions and ideas. There are many ways to cope. Your positive and thankful attitude can help set the tone for your time together. If... Dear Rosa Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT boundaries,christmas,holiday,holidays,lonely,new year,thanksgiving,tradition,winter http://pfl.org/article/influence Thu, 17 Nov 2016 15:30:22 +0000 Those who influence us sometimes assign us things. A significant part of assigned influence is that we may choose what part, if any, of an assignment to take on from our influencers. Influence; assigned and assumed. We naturally influence others... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC assignment,follow,influence,inspire,lead,leader http://pfl.org/article/openhanded Thu, 10 Nov 2016 16:20:28 +0000 Needy people exist and will continue to exist. Generous people are those who are openhanded: people who loosen themselves to feel compassion and give of what they have. Some of you may only have a smile or a prayer. Others may loose belongings, time... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC compassion,generous,give,giving,openhanded http://pfl.org/article/self-actualization Thu, 03 Nov 2016 15:58:41 +0000 Research psychologist, Abraham Maslow, theorized that we have a need for self actualization. Self actualization focuses on what an individual does or accomplishes. This is in contrast to God's word. God's focus is on who we are in Christ... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW ephesians,esteem,handiwork,healthy,masterpiece,respect,self,self actualization,self esteem,self respect,self value,self worth,value http://pfl.org/article/the-standard Thu, 27 Oct 2016 15:13:55 +0000 There are so many voices around us that call us to unrealistic standards, condemn us, and make us feel less than. But the reality is there's only one standard that we need to live up to. And, we do that, strangely enough by recognizing there is... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC condemnation,perfection,standards,keeping up http://pfl.org/article/the-holidays Thu, 20 Oct 2016 15:53:16 +0000 The winter holidays can be a time of tradition, community, and meaning. But it can also be a time of loneliness and unexpected grief. In anticipation of the holidays, consider what you need emotionally and relationally. Set boundaries around your time... Dear Rosa boundaries,christmas,holiday,holidays,lonely,new year,thanksgiving,tradition,winter http://pfl.org/article/is-life-tough Thu, 13 Oct 2016 15:48:21 +0000 If life is tough for you….you have been honored to hone things inside yourself that others cannot fathom and God has chosen to use as a vehicle for hope for those around you. Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC exhausted,hard day,survivial,tired,worn out http://pfl.org/article/calming-down Thu, 06 Oct 2016 18:23:54 +0000 Self care may be difficult depending on the circumstances. However, here are simple questions to ask yourself when anxious, upset, lonely or just plain tired: Am I normal to feel______? Have I ever felt this way before? Have I returned to a calmer... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC be present,breathe,calm,calm down,peace,self care,stress http://pfl.org/article/healthy-self-esteem Thu, 29 Sep 2016 16:02:04 +0000 We often hear the term "self esteem." But, what does healthy self-esteem look like? In Ephesians 2:10, God's Word says, "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW ephesians,esteem,handiwork,healthy,masterpiece,respect,self,self actualization,self esteem,self respect,self value,self worth,value http://pfl.org/article/emotional-intelligence--handout-to-broadcasts-3562-3563-3564-3565-3566-3567 Wed, 28 Sep 2016 19:18:44 +0000 Increasing emotional intelligence provides many advantages in one's emotional and relational health. Lynda and Laura discussed the 5 components of Emotional Intelligence: self-awareness, self-regulation, internal motivation, empathy and social... Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT http://pfl.org/article/core-questions Fri, 23 Sep 2016 16:56:55 +0000 Everyone has soul questions that run deep through their hearts and minds. These questions have to do with our very existence, purpose, and abilities. These questions may nag in the middle of the night or be a constant thought each day. And, until... Fall 2016, Volume 23, Issue 4 Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC core,freedom,healing,healthy living,pain,therapy,core lies http://pfl.org/article/righteous-anger Fri, 23 Sep 2016 16:45:33 +0000 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry Ephesians 4:26 (NIV) Anger is one of the most uncomfortable emotions that we all experience from time to time. Some of us are easily angered; whereas, others are slow... Fall 2016, Volume 23, Issue 4 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW anger,anxiety,bible,depression,emotions,pride,prideful,righteous,self,self centered,selfish,uncomfortable,verse,unrigheous http://pfl.org/article/rambling-resentments Fri, 23 Sep 2016 16:31:20 +0000 Bitter discontent at being treated unfairly. We all experience it. People, circumstances and situations lingering deep within our hearts and minds. The result is a life robbed of peace and rest. Just when you think you have it conquered the feelings... Fall 2016, Volume 23, Issue 4 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC anger,apologies,bitterness,defensive,discontent,healing,hope,hurt,offense,resentment http://pfl.org/article/five-steps-in-forgiving Fri, 23 Sep 2016 16:18:11 +0000 Forgiveness is not sympathy. Forgiveness is not denying unfairness. Forgiveness does not have to forget. Forgiveness may not mean reconciliation. Forgiveness is a choice. “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against... Fall 2016, Volume 23, Issue 4 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC amends,forgiveness,healing,honesty,open,relating,repair,straight forward,vulnerable http://pfl.org/article/made-by-the-creator Thu, 22 Sep 2016 14:11:45 +0000 When life feels crazy. When your responsibilities are piling up. When you feel like you just can’t do it all. Remember, you are enough. You are valuable. And that value comes from your Creator, not your productivity. Rest in this truth today. Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC overwhelmed,productivity,responsibilities,value http://pfl.org/article/dont-stop-believing-handout-to-broadcasts-3588-3589-3590-3591-3592 Wed, 21 Sep 2016 18:16:28 +0000 Many times parents and family members of prodigals do not share their pain with others and sometimes for good reason. In the broadcast series Christine, Lynda and Sarah offer hope and encouragement to parents and loved ones of prodigals. Get the notes... Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW hope,in trouble,lost,prodigal,rebel,rebellious,return home,runaway http://pfl.org/article/guarding-the-calendar Thu, 15 Sep 2016 14:10:02 +0000 Life can feel out of control sometimes, and as the school year starts, I recommend taking an honest real look at the calendar. Before your schedule gets cluttered, sit down as a couple and then as a family to decide what will make it on the calendar... Dear Rosa Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT busy,pace,schedule,stress,too much,worry http://pfl.org/article/our-own-worst-enemy Thu, 01 Sep 2016 14:57:22 +0000 Do you strive for perfection rather than for satisfaction in a task? If so this leads to repeated frustration, disappointment and worse; self-condemnation. This is a result of a drive to be perfect. If expectations will allow for learning from... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC drive,expectations,focus,good enough,mistake,perfect,perfection,perfectionist,best foot forward http://pfl.org/article/need-to-rest Thu, 25 Aug 2016 14:57:11 +0000 Take time to rest. It’s easy to believe that we can keep going or that taking a break really won’t make much of a difference – but it does. Even a small pause can change the attitude of the day. A bigger break, like a vacation, can be a reset button... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC attitude,breathe,pause,relax,slow down,too fast http://pfl.org/article/watch-out Thu, 18 Aug 2016 18:00:46 +0000 Behaviors that hinder the life stream of any relationship are as follows: Consistently resist sound, fair feedback; blind to grace even when it is freely offered; persist in selfish thinking or behavior; pridefully trust their intellect vs. the truth... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC bad,bully,choice,demanding,difficult,need,respect,self respect,wrong http://pfl.org/article/working-through-trauma Thu, 11 Aug 2016 15:23:59 +0000 When trauma and pain occur, it is common for us to make vows for the future to protect ourselves from further pain. Common vows are “I will never let another man (or woman) hurt me,” or “I will never let them see me sweat.” The problem is that these... Dear Rosa Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT http://pfl.org/article/affirmations-of-gods-love Thu, 04 Aug 2016 14:30:15 +0000 Scripture is full of God's affirmations of His love for us and His benevolent thoughts toward us. In 1 John 4:10, we are told, "This is love: not that we loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW grace,love,mercy,perfect love http://pfl.org/article/a-difficult-road Thu, 28 Jul 2016 19:47:35 +0000 It is probably true that you have a difficult road. If you do, consider the lessons learned in it and the value that God has for you in these lessons for your future. Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC exhausted,hard day,survivial,tired,worn out http://pfl.org/article/difficult-people Thu, 21 Jul 2016 15:01:28 +0000 Difficult people are men and women who, no matter what is said or done, always see you as “bad,” “wrong,” or insist on you proving otherwise. This is a game. Their demands help them avoid responsibility for their choices. Care enough to refuse... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC bad,bully,choice,demanding,difficult,need,respect,self respect,wrong http://pfl.org/article/think-and-feel Thu, 14 Jul 2016 14:27:53 +0000 We are all given the ability to think and feel. Some people favor thinking and some people favor feeling. Thinking and feeling are not good or bad. Both of them give us some good information to make healthy decisions. The problem comes when we let one... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC balance,feel,think http://pfl.org/article/read-your-body Thu, 07 Jul 2016 14:35:44 +0000 I heard the saying recently, "Our bodies don't lie." When we aren't feeling well physically, it is wise to take a moment and ask what our body might be signaling to us. Is the pressure on our chest telling us that we are anxious?... Dear Rosa Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT breathe,relax,slow down,too fast,body hurts,body pain http://pfl.org/article/make-a-choice Thu, 30 Jun 2016 14:45:48 +0000 We certainly can make ourselves miserable by going over the unfair things we’ve experienced. Or…we can make ourselves, with God’s help, sane and comfortable. The amount of emotional work involved with either is the same. I choose the latter and hope... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC health,joy,miserable,not fair,revenge,unfair http://pfl.org/article/mandate-for-success Thu, 23 Jun 2016 18:57:14 +0000 A state of being whole, sound, and undiminished comes from the refusal to exaggerate to make yourself look good, honoring all who have contributed, refusing to take things that do not belong to you, and your walk matching your talk. It’s called integrity. Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC honest,integrity,true,truth http://pfl.org/article/holding-on-to-hope Wed, 22 Jun 2016 17:01:28 +0000 Occasionally the only thing you can do for someone is to hope for them, until they can hope for themselves. Summer 2016, Volume 23, Issue 3 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW affliction,comfort,difficult,encourage,encouragement,faith,hope,hurt,peace,positive,situation,trial,trust http://pfl.org/article/crazy-minds Wed, 22 Jun 2016 16:48:50 +0000 The tasks, expectations, and energy needed to live in our world are mind boggling. And, there does not seem to be any end in sight. So, what’s a person to do? Summer 2016, Volume 23, Issue 3 Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC balance,burnout,exhausted,margin,selfcare,stress http://pfl.org/article/rebuilding-trust Wed, 22 Jun 2016 16:38:07 +0000 Trust is precious. Once lost trust becomes priceless. Brenda outlines 4 steps to practice that may help rebuild trust but, more importantly, help us live with a greater sense of peace within. Summer 2016, Volume 23, Issue 3 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC abandonment,apology,behavior,betrayal,choice,fear,hurt,lies,shame,trust http://pfl.org/article/unchecked-anger Wed, 22 Jun 2016 16:12:39 +0000 What is unchecked anger? For one thing, unchecked anger can produce aggression and often, violence. This article explains some causes of aggression and violence via unchecked anger. It also gives direction for what and how to avoid unchecked anger... Summer 2016, Volume 23, Issue 3 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC action,aggression,anger,angry,behavior,compulsive behavior,immediate action,safe people,thought process,triggers,violence,unchecked anger,angry thoughts,rehearsed thoughts,blowing off steam,safe context http://pfl.org/article/god-promises Thu, 16 Jun 2016 14:59:24 +0000 Have you ever thought that God was mad at you or that He has turned his back on you? Those thoughts were not based on Truth. He will never turn away from you. Rather, He promises that He will never leave you nor forsake. (Deuteronomy 31:6) Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW bad,beyond forgiveness,forgive,mad,sin,too far http://pfl.org/article/the-source Thu, 09 Jun 2016 17:40:04 +0000 Some days drag. Some weeks seem to move like molasses. Some months require survival mode. Maybe it's time for a refill. Or better yet, a daily plug into the Source. The Lord is waiting to pour into us, we just need to stop and make ourselves... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC exhausted,survivial,tired,worn out,hard day http://pfl.org/article/the-marriage-mess Thu, 02 Jun 2016 15:07:35 +0000 Marriage brings us (sometimes quite often) to a place where we must make a choice. We have the decision of running into the mess and loving one another in it, or running away and pretending the mess isn’t there. Don’t miss the opportunity! The mess... Dear Rosa Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT hide,life,marriage,mess,messy,potential,fake it http://pfl.org/article/deal-with-it Thu, 26 May 2016 14:53:09 +0000 If we don’t deal with our experiences of being shocked and hurt… trauma really, it begins to deal with us. God tells us to come to him honestly in so many ways in Scripture. He keeps tapping us on the shoulder over and over again. Talk to Him... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC hurt,pain,relief,shock,trauma http://pfl.org/article/examination Thu, 19 May 2016 15:11:34 +0000 Family, career, making money, exercise, me time, friendships, and spirituality are a few top priorities in life. Evaluate the effectiveness of the order you put them. Is the order really working for you and for those you love? If not, change the order. Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC priorities,priority,schedule,time,value http://pfl.org/article/in-the-palm-of-his-hand Thu, 12 May 2016 14:55:42 +0000 God's love for us is perfect, complete and there is nothing that we can do to change His love for us. He accepts us just as we are including our imperfections and our disobedience. Our finite minds cannot fully comprehend the infinite love God... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC grace,love,mercy,perfect love http://pfl.org/article/find-peace Thu, 05 May 2016 14:34:23 +0000 Whether your world is at peace or is spinning wildly, take a moment to be present where you are. Check in with your body, your soul, and your mind, take some deep breaths and connect with God. Let him give you that peace that transcends understanding... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC be present,breathe,calm,peace,stress http://pfl.org/article/traditions-and-celebrations Thu, 28 Apr 2016 14:36:50 +0000 Traditions and celebrations can provide a rite of passage from one season to another. From weddings to birthdays, college graduations to moving parties, these symbolic moments serve as spiritual, relational, and emotional transitions. These... Dear Rosa Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT celebration,life,marriage,parenting,tradition http://pfl.org/article/the-big-list-of-self-care-activities Wed, 27 Apr 2016 20:30:56 +0000 The Big List of Self Care Activities as discussed in the programs entitled, "Get Your Brave On" parts 1 & 2, #3525 & #3526 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC balance,burnout,exhausted,margin,selfcare,stress http://pfl.org/article/our-grief Thu, 21 Apr 2016 21:02:34 +0000 Sometimes we judge our sorrows. Do you feel you don’t get to be sad because others have better reasons to be sad? It is not true that because you don’t have it as bad as other people that you don’t get to grieve. Stop comparing. Walking through... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC compare,grief,loss,sorrow,others have it worse http://pfl.org/article/think-about-it Thu, 14 Apr 2016 15:21:04 +0000 Working effectively in our relationships requires we examine both the helpful choices we have made along with the hurtful choices we have made. Our choices are not “all good” or “all bad.” Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC choices,hurt,trauma informed http://pfl.org/article/constructive-criticism Thu, 07 Apr 2016 15:14:42 +0000 I don't know anyone who truly enjoys being criticized. However, sometimes we need it in order to grow. With the right attitude and careful consideration of the validity of the criticism, we can take someone else's criticism of us and use it... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW blame,boundaries,confidence,conflict,respect,constructive criticisim http://pfl.org/article/his-peace Thu, 31 Mar 2016 14:48:15 +0000 Take a moment today to swim in the depths. The Lord will meet with you and still all your worries. His peace passing understanding and gives us an infusion of calm and perspective that gives us the strength to go on. He's ready and waiting to... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC anxiety,anxious,panic,stress,worry http://pfl.org/article/family-rituals Thu, 24 Mar 2016 14:25:35 +0000 Family Rituals provide a safe and consistent space for family members to connect and provide one another a sense of belonging, meaning, and stability. These rituals can be as simple as a hug each morning as you leave for work or a week’s vacation to... Dear Rosa Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT belong,connect,family,safe,traditions http://pfl.org/article/accountability Thu, 17 Mar 2016 16:43:25 +0000 Adults too sometimes say to themselves: “Everyone else is doing this – so why not me?” Do you have someone you look up to for a cross check on this decision? Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC accountability http://pfl.org/article/decisions-who-is-controlling-your-life Wed, 09 Mar 2016 16:25:57 +0000 Making tough decisions is difficult and rewarding work. Being swayed by the opinions or reactions of others will lead us down a path of being controlled by others and neglecting the path of God. Spring 2016 Volume 23 Issue 2 Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT control,courage,decision making,decisions,relationships http://pfl.org/article/his-workmanship Wed, 09 Mar 2016 16:19:36 +0000 When we internalize His truth that we are His masterpiece, created with a kingdom purpose, a positive, healthy self esteem follows. Spring 2016 Volume 23 Issue 2 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW co-dependency,ephesians,esteem,handiwork,healthy,maslow,masterpiece,respect,self,self esteem,self respect,self worth,value,self value,self actualization,codependence http://pfl.org/article/guilt-sadness-pity-etc-ok-but-what-kind Wed, 09 Mar 2016 16:16:06 +0000 Negative emotions are part of life. It's how we choose to experience them that makes all the difference. Spring 2016 Volume 23 Issue 2 Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC change,guilt,healing,health,pity,repentance,sadness,self-control http://pfl.org/article/shake-the-dust-off Wed, 09 Mar 2016 16:03:17 +0000 There are specific people and times when we must make tough decisions. This article describes the circumstances and suggest our response according to the Apostle Paul's behaviors. Spring 2016 Volume 23 Issue 2 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC blame,boundaries,confidence,conflict,respect http://pfl.org/article/forgiveness-of-those-who-are-different Wed, 09 Mar 2016 15:48:53 +0000 We sometimes mistake the differences we have with each other as containing a type of personal "I'm right and you're bad" message. Often the clash between people is a true biological difference in human wiring. This article begins... Spring 2016 Volume 23 Issue 2 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC bids for connection,calm,finding peace,forgiveness,respect,stress,tolerance,seeking calm,duress,blam,rlaxing http://pfl.org/article/fully-awake Thu, 03 Mar 2016 16:53:58 +0000 Not one of us can feel all of our emotions all of the time. Defenses are necessary in order to survive some events. There will come a season when it is time to “wake up” the feelings. The healing/growth process calls for honesty on all levels. It’s... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC defense,emotions,feelings,season,survival http://pfl.org/article/gods-protection Thu, 25 Feb 2016 15:10:55 +0000 Yes, the world is broken and with that comes broken relationships. But, take heart! Jesus has overcome the world. Even in our brokenness God has provided protection through his laws, through healthy families, good friends, even clothing is a... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC broken,forgive,friends,hurt feelings,pain,healthy family http://pfl.org/article/find-your-life Thu, 18 Feb 2016 17:21:49 +0000 We all want a good life. We want a life filled with joy, success, love, meaning, and healthy relationships. But who determines our path? The loudest, strongest voice in your life will determine your path! Let’s make sure we aren’t ruled by the voice... Dear Rosa Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT good life,joy,love,meaning,success,healthy determine my path http://pfl.org/article/good-leaders Thu, 11 Feb 2016 21:07:01 +0000 Whether we admit to it or not, we are all under authority. It may be at home, school, work, church or simply in society. We all benefit when leadership is good. A good leader does not dictate but rather affirms, encourages and helps others to reach... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW authority,boss,leader,submission,work http://pfl.org/article/open-the-door Thu, 04 Feb 2016 16:20:01 +0000 Are there rooms in your heart you want to keep closed? What if light from an open door would detox the contents? Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC bury,deep,heal,light in the darkness,pain http://pfl.org/article/out-of-balance Thu, 28 Jan 2016 19:18:49 +0000 Imbalance in our focus easily occurs. Worry is one emotion that throws us off. Worry consumes our energy, robbing us of the balance we seek. What are the things you still worry about? Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC focus,imbalance,worry http://pfl.org/article/just-do-it Thu, 21 Jan 2016 23:50:19 +0000 Is there someone in your life that you need to forgive or you need to ask to forgive you? Is there a relationship that needs mending? May I encourage you to take that step and reach out to repair those relationships. It may not be easy and issues may... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW broken,forgive,pain,hurt feelings http://pfl.org/article/take-time-to-celebrate Wed, 20 Jan 2016 21:42:53 +0000 I recently watched an old movie that involved a beautiful and elegant couple dancing. I don’t know about you, but you won’t find my husband and me dancing the waltz. So what has changed in our culture and times? Other cultures and countries continue... Winter 2016 Vol 23 Issue 1 Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT tradition,celebration,life,marriage,parenting http://pfl.org/article/the-shadowy-seasons Wed, 20 Jan 2016 21:33:36 +0000 With winter comes a literal time of shadows and darkness. The days are short. The sun is low and seems somewhat cold. Sure, there are bright, beautiful, pristine days in the winter but often the cold and the dark get to us. It affects every part of... Winter 2016 Vol 23 Issue 1 Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC cold,dark,job loss,shadows,struggle,winter http://pfl.org/article/in-the-palm-of-his-hands Wed, 20 Jan 2016 21:23:25 +0000 A major responsibility of parents is to teach their children how to obey and how to behave appropriately. In most families, some days are better than others, especially when it comes to obedience. Occasionally, when we had a particularly trying day, I... Winter 2016 Vol 23 Issue 1 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW behavior,forgiveness,parenting,is god mad http://pfl.org/article/rehearse-the-facts Wed, 20 Jan 2016 21:18:49 +0000 Now that the holidays are over, many of us lift our eyes to the next year ahead of us. Reflective, wistful at times, feeling both sadness and joy, prayerfully thanking God for what has been and what He would have for us next. Requests made, concerns... Winter 2016 Vol 23 Issue 1 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC emotions,holidays,new year,reflect,renew,resolution http://pfl.org/article/one-sure-thing-in-successful-relationships Wed, 20 Jan 2016 19:55:04 +0000 I’m teaching a couples class. I’m sharing with them well-researched and applied points that assure success in relationships. John Gottman and others have studied couples for 30 plus years discovering these things. One of many sure fire actions that... Winter 2016 Vol 23 Issue 1 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC appreciation,communication,relationship,think positive http://pfl.org/article/simple-helps Thu, 14 Jan 2016 17:22:40 +0000 Life can be tough. There are any number of things that can stress us out and trouble our hearts. But, God hasn't left us defenseless. Along with his presence, power, and love he gives us a few simple tools of relief that can make all the... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC anxiety,life,nap,relief,stress,tools http://pfl.org/article/claim-your-land-handout-to-broadcasts-3554-3555-3556 Wed, 13 Jan 2016 15:53:01 +0000 Claim Your Land Relationships Who has hurt you? How? Who are you holding a grudge against? Who are you jealous of and why? Who have you hurt? How did you hurt them? Who have you been critical of or gossiped about? Why? ‏How have you attempted... Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC comfort,freedom,grief,growth,healing,process,recovery,self-discovery http://pfl.org/article/the-seasons Thu, 07 Jan 2016 17:20:06 +0000 There is a beautiful rhythm of every year. Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter again. Taking care of ourselves is important as winter sets in. A new year has begun and the busyness of the holidays is over. Make sure to take care of your body... Dear Rosa Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT busy,new year,seasons,self care,winter http://pfl.org/article/muddy-waters-handout-to-broadcasts-3518-3519 Fri, 01 Jan 2016 20:22:25 +0000 Muddy Waters: The Handout Behaviors that Inhibit Clarity in Relationships • I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone. • She/he already knows how I feel. • What if I say the wrong thing? • It’s too risky…I’m not sure people... Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/heart-care Thu, 31 Dec 2015 17:17:41 +0000 A heart hurts when it is blasted open. Be careful with your heart. Treat it as tender. Make this a year of receiving nurturance for the fearfully and wonderfully made person that you are. Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC broken heart,fearfully and wonderfully made,heart,heart break,hurt,tender http://pfl.org/article/attitude-check Thu, 24 Dec 2015 17:15:24 +0000 Gratefulness: Being warmly appreciative of the benefits received…from anyone or anything. Reminding yourself of what and who you are deeply appreciative of increases your ability to remain positive and hopeful. Worry, anger, and sarcasm only rob you... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC appreciate,give thanks,grateful,positive,positive thinking,thankful,thanks http://pfl.org/article/story-telling Thu, 17 Dec 2015 17:12:27 +0000 Story telling is not just for children. Adults tell themselves stories just as often as children. In fact, we tell ourselves so many stories throughout the day about our relationships with family and friends, finances, career, health, and future that... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW assume,believe,fake,lie,my story,testimony,truth http://pfl.org/article/indicators-or-dictators Thu, 10 Dec 2015 17:09:25 +0000 Feelings are indicators, not dictators - Lysa TerKeurst She's right! We were given emotions for a reason. They give us information and connect us with others. They help us care for ourselves and tend to our relationships. But, too often we give... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC behavior,emotional,emotions,feelings,free,relationship,urge http://pfl.org/article/can-you-hear-me Thu, 26 Nov 2015 17:03:49 +0000 Want to be heard? Respect, appreciation, and generosity are communicated very subtly in conversation. We all want these things. When we receive them or give them, we feel good and give good. Words are not the most important part of communication... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC appreciate,attitude,communication,generous,hear,listen,respect,talk,listen to me http://pfl.org/article/winter-happy-or-miserable Mon, 16 Nov 2015 20:56:55 +0000 Winter blues may mean that we have a disposition to join each other by grumbling about how miserable winter is. How to positively think about our winter experience and maybe other "cold" places in which we find ourselves will peak your... Christmas 2015, Volume 22, Issue 4 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC resilience,activity,bad attitude,blues,crabby,marriage,movement,outside,reframe,winter,good attitude,how we share,couch potato,winter activity,winter fun http://pfl.org/article/stay-the-course Mon, 16 Nov 2015 20:12:33 +0000 Recovery and healing processes may be confusing. These processes include varied experiences such as pain, humor, shame, grief, relief, peace, and turmoil. Recovery or healing journeys are like life. Christmas 2015, Volume 22, Issue 4 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/marys-labor-of-peace Mon, 16 Nov 2015 20:12:33 +0000 In the midst of a troubled time, we can find peace. It is easy for us to see impossibility of a situation and to feel the fear of uncertainty, but we can have peace…with a little bit of labor. Christmas 2015, Volume 22, Issue 4 Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT angel,christmas,emotions,jesus,labor,mary,peace,troubled http://pfl.org/article/eye-of-the-storm Mon, 16 Nov 2015 20:12:33 +0000 Silent nights are a beautiful part of the Christmas story but a rare reality in modern life. With a seemingly never ending to do list, not enough time or resources to do it all, the Christmas season can become synonymous with extreme stress. We sing... Christmas 2015, Volume 22, Issue 4 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW http://pfl.org/article/right-relationship-some-strange-mix-and-the-holidays Mon, 16 Nov 2015 20:12:33 +0000 The holidays are upon us and we often find ourselves spending time with family or friends that we do not see the rest of the year. With this increased exposure to our families of origin we often find ourselves or our spouses acting strangely around... Christmas 2015, Volume 22, Issue 4 Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC communication,differences,difficult relationships,holidays,personalities,personality,relationships http://pfl.org/article/fully-awake Thu, 12 Nov 2015 16:24:31 +0000 Not one of us can feel all of our emotions all of the time. Defenses are necessary in order to survive some events. There will come a season when it is time to “wake up” feelings. The healing and growth process calls for honesty on all levels when the... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC block,defenses,emotions,feelings,growth,heal,honest,ptsd,survival http://pfl.org/article/thoughts-on-thoughts Thu, 05 Nov 2015 16:21:18 +0000 We all have different ways of thinking, perceiving and viewing the world. Sometimes we can get so caught up in believing we are right that we forget about the possibility that our thinking, and perceptions could be inaccurate. This is such a common... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW assume,perceive,right,think,thoughts,world view,wrong,cognitive distortions http://pfl.org/article/its-ok-to-take-a-break Thu, 29 Oct 2015 16:17:38 +0000 Modern life has filled up at an exponential rate. Relationships, work, home life, kid’s activities, ministries, instant communication through cell phones and the internet, and more. Sometimes it's just too much...and it's OK to take a break... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC break,busy,overwhelmed,stress,stressed out,too much http://pfl.org/article/enjoy-life Thu, 22 Oct 2015 16:14:29 +0000 As we enter adulthood with all of the responsibilities that accompany this stage of life, we can neglect the playful, spontaneous parts. Paradoxically, to revive that starved part, we need to be intentional to plan a time and place and activity that... Dear Rosa Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT adult,enjoy life,grow up,intentional,responsible,young adult http://pfl.org/article/right-relationship-some-strange-mix Thu, 22 Oct 2015 04:08:54 +0000 Everyone is different and sometimes we have trouble communicating and understanding each other. So what's the answer? Check out this article for some tips. Fall 2015, Volume 22, Issue 3 Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC communication,differences,personalities,personality,relationships,difficult relationships http://pfl.org/article/resilience-how-to-bend-and-not-break Tue, 20 Oct 2015 19:27:37 +0000 Resilience is a trait we want. Things happen in life that are hard. This article shares and guides us to healthy traits of coming back from life¹s trials. Many very helpful things are presented a sample of which are; being tough but tender toward... Fall 2015, Volume 22, Issue 3 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC coping,depression,endurance,endure,energy,flexible,helpless,nourish,nourishing,prayer,resilient,strength,strong,suffering,support,vulnerable,mindlessness,seeking help,asking for help,professional help http://pfl.org/article/the-stories-we-tell Tue, 20 Oct 2015 14:29:28 +0000 Children are wonderfully creative at thinking up stories, in which they are heroic and triumphant. However, when difficulties arise we can lose the ability to tell ourselves a good story with a positive ending. Fall 2015, Volume 22, Issue 3 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW adults,anxiety,bullies,bullying,change,children,conflict,doubt,fear,future,hope,hope for the future,insecurity,overcoming,stories,stress,worries,worrying http://pfl.org/article/past-present-and-future Tue, 20 Oct 2015 17:30:32 +0000 Are you fearful of the future? Do you agonize over past mistakes? We all have a natural bent toward thinking about the past, present, or future. We can grow by becoming more in tune with the present moment. Fall 2015, Volume 22, Issue 3 Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT acceptance,anxiety,emotions,future,moment,past,present,thoughts,true self,worry http://pfl.org/article/dont-regret Thu, 15 Oct 2015 16:11:26 +0000 Don't regret a past time filled with hurt. It is the stuff of wisdom. You've weathered it, you've acknowledged the pain, and you are standing once again. It may even be time to smile at what the hurt has given you. Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC hurt,pain,past,regret http://pfl.org/article/stretched Sat, 10 Oct 2015 17:23:14 +0000 Long-term friendships as well as marriages experience seasons in which each person is challenged to move out of their comfort zone. These seasons stretch/increase our ability to relate with understanding, honesty, and connect with one another at a... Fall 2015, Volume 22, Issue 3 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC attachment,comfort zone,connection,friendship,honesty,intimacy,marriage,understanding http://pfl.org/article/prevent-a-bite-back Thu, 08 Oct 2015 16:07:36 +0000 The low growl that may rise in your throat when another is rewarded with success may be an indication of jealousy or resentment. As normal as these feelings can be, they have a way of turning on you. Protect your heart from these emotions taking root. Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC jealous,jealousy,protect,resent,resentment,root http://pfl.org/article/need-encouragement Thu, 01 Oct 2015 17:42:05 +0000 Let's face it - we all could use a little encouragement, especially when life throws us some curveballs. If you need encouragement, try finding someone to encourage. It is amazing how when we give something away it comes back to us many times... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW encourage,encouragement,give,lift up http://pfl.org/article/life Thu, 24 Sep 2015 16:00:59 +0000 Life is hectic. Consider choosing reflection over distraction (TV, internet, etc.). It'll feed your being (you are a human *being*) vs. your doing (you're not a human *doing*). Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC distraction,hectic,internet,life,reflection,tv http://pfl.org/article/the-pain-of-rejection Thu, 17 Sep 2015 19:57:45 +0000 In a time of feeling rejected, we simply cannot conceive that the pain of it is often going to produce something better than the thing or relationship lost. Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC alone,pain,rejected,something better http://pfl.org/article/enablers-unite Thu, 10 Sep 2015 15:52:39 +0000 The parent of a potential misuser of alcohol is in a difficult position of loving their young adult yet insisting on respect for the household. Here are a few guidelines: * DON’T confront your young adult when they are under the... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC abuse,addiction,adult children,alcohol,enable,excuses,misuse,young adult http://pfl.org/article/working-it-through Thu, 03 Sep 2015 20:14:54 +0000 Recently, I worked with a family that had experienced a traumatic event. Each of the family members had embarked on their own journey to try to make sense of the event and deal with the aftermath. Their paths were each filled with confusion and much... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW argue,confusion,event,experience,grief,heal,help,reactions,right,support,tension,traumatic,wrong http://pfl.org/article/transitions Thu, 27 Aug 2015 20:09:48 +0000 A job loss. A broken relationship. A move. When things change we're put off balance. We can be confused, apt to make rash decisions, and be highly sensitive. It's important to give ourselves time to adjust and grieve. Postpone big decisions... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC adjust,balance,broken relationship,conflict,decisions,grieve,loss,rash,postpone http://pfl.org/article/the-lies-in-our-head Thu, 20 Aug 2015 20:06:05 +0000 We often tell ourselves a story about other's motives. The made up story in our heads is logical to us when another's behavior is puzzling. These stories are more often than not bogus; absolute lies we "figure out" to protect... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC behavior,clarity,heads,lies,peace,protect,relationships,story http://pfl.org/article/bitter-moments Thu, 13 Aug 2015 19:20:11 +0000 Walking along a shoreline, I discovered a small stone that was smooth and soft. Not one piece of the stone had protruding, sharp edges. The years of wave upon wave, nearby stones, and weather had worn away the cutting rough edges. Long lasting... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC alone,closeness,growth,relationships,sharp,rough edges,bitter moments,proverbs 14:10 http://pfl.org/article/taking-sober-stock Thu, 06 Aug 2015 19:15:40 +0000 Before our oldest daughter was born, my husband and I attended a very thorough and thoughtful parenting class. I remember the speaker saying "conflict is normal and needs to be negotiated." This simple statement was profound for me. Like... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW blame,commitment,conflict,healthy,parenting,relationships,resolve,resolved,shame http://pfl.org/article/expectations Thu, 30 Jul 2015 19:00:28 +0000 Let's not crush our loved ones under the weight of our expectations. We don't realize it but we don't know how awesomely different they are made. The reality is we don't have a corner on how people "should" be. Free... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC differences,different,expectations,people,reality http://pfl.org/article/stress Thu, 23 Jul 2015 18:33:22 +0000 STRESS: Equals hormones that drive you to "run or gun" (flight or fight). Stress will cause you to believe things must happen RIGHT NOW! Faith will slow you down with the knowledge that things will happen in the right time. Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC faith,fight,flight,hormones,knowledge,stress http://pfl.org/article/knowing-if-and-when-to-have-difficult-conversations Thu, 16 Jul 2015 16:39:33 +0000 Difficult conversations can easily go awry. Learn some strategies to determine IF and WHEN to have a difficult conversation. August 2015, Volume 22, Issue 2 Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT conflict,difficult,difficult conversations,disagreements,emotional,family,kindness,love,relationships,spiritual,strategies http://pfl.org/article/a-rock-through-the-front-window Thu, 16 Jul 2015 16:26:02 +0000 Have you ever felt as if someone threw a rock through the front window of your life? The Lord promises to bind up and care for our wounds. August 2015, Volume 22, Issue 2 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW bind,broken,brokenhearted,care,compassion,difficulties,difficulty,divorce,grief,healing,life,loss,minister,stress,wound,wounded,bind up http://pfl.org/article/buy-wisdom Thu, 16 Jul 2015 18:26:01 +0000 Money is a big source of hope today. Being rich is not a sinful thing. Being poor isn’t either. Real hope is found in wisdom. It is an internal quality that is pursued and nurtured in heart and mind. Pay the price of obtaining wisdom. Then, do not... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC heart,hope,mind,money,poor,rich,wisdom http://pfl.org/article/whats-the-big-deal-about-jesus Thu, 16 Jul 2015 02:35:57 +0000 salvation, Democrat, Republican, hurtful, pain, life’s questions, heaven, hell, forgiveness, show me the way, Jesus, Jesus says, belief, believers, Christ, Christian, old, bible, old people. August 2015, Volume 22, Issue 2 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC belief,believers,bible,christ,christian,democrat,forgiveness,heaven,hell,hurtful,jesus,jesus says,old,old people,pain,republican,salvation,life’s questions,show me the way http://pfl.org/article/guess-what Thu, 16 Jul 2015 02:35:57 +0000 There are specific dynamics that hinder communication. One is to withhold out of fear of another’s anger or distancing behavior. Brenda briefly discusses the healthy way to think about sharing and receiving the perspective of another person. August 2015, Volume 22, Issue 2 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC communication,confuse,discuss,distance,distort,encourage,express,hear,leave,listen,punish,shame,speak,talk,withhold,guess,demean http://pfl.org/article/eq-what-emotional-intelligence-is-and-how-to-develop-it Thu, 16 Jul 2015 02:35:57 +0000 Emotional intelligence is integral to mental and relational health. Understanding emotions, their impact on individuals and relationships, and learning how to use this information sets us up for success in life. August 2015, Volume 22, Issue 2 Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC emotional intelligence,eq,feelings,relationships,self-awareness,self-control,understanding,self-regulations http://pfl.org/article/a-rock-through-your-front-window Thu, 02 Jul 2015 18:21:34 +0000 Have you ever felt as if someone threw a rock through the front window of your life? Maybe, it was after a divorce, sudden job loss, serious accident, grave medical diagnosis, death of a loved one, or broken relationship. It may have felt as if your... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW accident,anger,bitterness,change,circumstances,control,death,disappointment,divorce,fear,freedom,grief,grow,heart,illness,job loss,relationship,respond,shattered http://pfl.org/article/down-days Thu, 25 Jun 2015 17:40:24 +0000 We all have down days. Crabby days. Sad days. And even depressed days. Sometimes we just need to be kind to ourselves and ride them out. Other times we need to take a hard look at ourselves and see whether we are causing our own suffering. Ask God... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC accept,causing,depressed,difference,god's grace,sad,suffering,down days,crabby http://pfl.org/article/ya-gotta-serve-somebody Thu, 18 Jun 2015 17:38:05 +0000 I just looked up Bob Dylan’s lyrics to “Ya Gotta Serve Somebody.” Interspersing several walks of life, Dylan says: “…it may be the devil, it may be the Lord,” but you gotta serve somebody. Whether we know it or not, we are serving “somebody." Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC devil,god,jesus,serve,somebody http://pfl.org/article/thriving-students Thu, 11 Jun 2015 17:23:46 +0000 We will always be students. Receiving, listening, learning, implementing and living by what we have ingested up to this moment. This does not mean we are always listening or receiving what is provided. Many take pride in figuring things or concerns... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC accomplishment,discover,forward,help,isolate,learning,life,listening,pride,students,surviving,thriving,wallowing http://pfl.org/article/do-as-i-say Thu, 04 Jun 2015 17:18:49 +0000 One of the most confusing things a parent can say to a child is "do as I say, not as I do." As parents, we always want our children to do as we say. However, if we tack on the phrase "not as I do," we confuse our children and set... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW confusing,do,ourselves,parents,responsible,say,standards,trouble,show the way http://pfl.org/article/games-people-play-to-avoid-taking-responsibility Mon, 01 Jun 2015 17:59:13 +0000 People, because they fear losing love or arousing anger often learn to get their needs met by indirect means. Games are dishonest maneuvers designed to get someone to do something. Games only work if someone consciously or unconsciously agrees to be... Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC aggressive,deceit,deceive,defensive,dishonest,dishonesty,fear,games,indirect,lying,maneuver,manipulate http://pfl.org/article/uniquely-created Thu, 28 May 2015 17:15:42 +0000 God has created you uniquely just as you are. As Christians we have the freedom to be who we are in the Lord. Let's not use this truth as license but as an opportunity to shine and serve for God's glory. Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC created,freedom,glory,god,opportunity,serve,shine,truth,unique http://pfl.org/article/the-wethey-mentality Wed, 27 May 2015 18:58:39 +0000 This mentality can be destructive. Although perhaps temporarily necessary in something like sports, the we/then mentality undermines the inclusive nature of God's grace and mercy. Brenda outlines the dangers of nurturing this style of thinking. December 2014 Volume 21, Issue 5 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC curiousity,discernment,exclusive,grace,inclusive,living faith,love of god,loving,mercy http://pfl.org/article/moving-past-fear-powerlessness-and-trauma-a-neuroscience-perspectiveness Tue, 26 May 2015 17:06:58 +0000 Everyone has moments of fear and moments of powerlessness. When combined they create a powerful experience called trauma. With the growing understanding of how our neurological system works, there is more hope for healing now than ever. Help is closer... April/May 2015 Volume 22, Issue 1 Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC fear,fight or flight,neuroscience,powerlessness,survival,trauma,brain system,hypervivilance,jumpiness,rapid heartbeat http://pfl.org/article/children-shamed-and-text-attacked Tue, 26 May 2015 18:52:49 +0000 Bullying attacks on children and teens is on the rise. This is something hard for adults to grasp at times. This article give guidance for boundaries, defenses, and how parents can help both the victim and the bully. April/May 2015 Volume 22, Issue 1 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC boundaries,cellphones,personal attacks,team text,text bullying,cyber attack,parent guidelines to bullying,report cyber bully,defenses,threatened children,what to do about cyber bulling,texting abuse,block,blocking,crime,texting,cyber bullying,defense http://pfl.org/article/games-people-play-to-avoid-taking-responsibility Mon, 25 May 2015 18:00:06 +0000 People, because they fear they will lose love or arouse anger if they honestly and directly ask for what they want, often learn to get their needs met by indirect means. Games are dishonest maneuvers designed to get someone to do something by making... April/May 2015 Volume 22, Issue 1 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC anger,direct,fear,games,guilt,honest,irresponsibility,manipulation,shame,avoid responsibility http://pfl.org/article/surviving-the-affair Thu, 21 May 2015 16:38:00 +0000 How can marriage survive the ultimate betrayal of an affair? Healing is possible. A covenant relationship can work only if the unfaithful partner ends the affair, the couple stops talking to family and friends about the situation, and therapy... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC affair,betrayal,covenant,healing,marriage,partner,survive,therapy,unfaithful http://pfl.org/article/the-healing-cycle-and-the-wounding-cycle Thu, 21 May 2015 01:28:47 +0000 The wounding process in relationships can be cyclical. If repeated enough times, our responses become second nature. Interrupting the unhealthy behaviors that often accompany the cycle needs recycling with the truth. This handout outlines both the... Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC, Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW, Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC, Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC, Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW, Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC, Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT cycles,faith,healing,healthy,help,hurts,love,process,responses,unhealthy,wound http://pfl.org/article/self-soothing-skills Thu, 21 May 2015 01:10:46 +0000 Mastering self-soothing, along with developing your own identity and healing from past wounds, are the keys to freedom from unhealthy habits and addictions. Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC addictions,anxiety,calming,grief and loss,habits,relaxation,self-soothing,stress,wounds,unhealthy choices http://pfl.org/article/our-true-inheritance Thu, 14 May 2015 16:34:39 +0000 Nothing reveals more about individuals that seeing how they respond to receiving an inheritance. Many reading this know when money is involved, fighting usually breaks out. How each of us responds to inheriting position, power, money, or privileged... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC assumptions,beliefs,dignity,hay,hearts,inheritance,love,minds,money,power,wisdom,wood,worth,privileged information,stubble http://pfl.org/article/when-in-conflict Thu, 07 May 2015 16:29:02 +0000 There are distinct behavioral principles we need to incorporate when faced with conflict. Look at yourself in the mirror asking, "What is it like being on the receiving end of me." Is there anything I do or have done to contribute to this... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW above reproach,accountable,attitude,behavior,conflict,contribute,firmness,foundation,loving,people,principles,skills,spiritual,weaknesses,wisdom http://pfl.org/article/salt-and-light Tue, 05 May 2015 20:35:12 +0000 We all know people that are difficult to get along with; whether it is in our family, church or place of work. This article gives tips on getting along with people that are difficult to get along with. April/May 2015 Volume 22, Issue 1 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW conflict,conflict resolution,family,getting along,helping others,kind,kindness,limit setting,limits,love,loving,loving kindness,setting limits,stress,turning the other cheek,working things out http://pfl.org/article/those-pesky-buttons Tue, 05 May 2015 20:07:51 +0000 Everyone on earth has had their "buttons" pushed a time or two. Turn these irritating situations into a growing opportunity. April/May 2015 Volume 22, Issue 1 Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT Laura Demetrician, M.S., LMFT anger,body,buttons,conflict,difficult people,growth,physical,prayer,process,resolution,stress,trauma http://pfl.org/article/secrets-and-shame Thu, 30 Apr 2015 17:03:11 +0000 If you or someone close to you struggles with secret sins such as pornography use, bulimia, or alcohol dependence, know today that you are not alone and you are not without hope. People can and do gain the insight, skills, and healing necessary to... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC addiction,alcohol,bulimia,cross,grace,habit,healing,hope,insight,jesus,overcome,pornography,power,relationships,resurrection,sacrifice,secret,sin,skills,struggle,tools http://pfl.org/article/we-feel-safe-with-direct-people Thu, 23 Apr 2015 16:05:25 +0000 It feels safe to be around direct honest people. We know where we stand with them. Indirect people are unsure of who they are and feel afraid to be in touch with what they want. As a result, it causes mistrust to be around them. Directness saves... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC afraid,compassionate,desires,direct,god,honest,indirect,mistrust,people,safe,unsure,inward parts,ps. 51:6 http://pfl.org/article/act-on-truth Thu, 16 Apr 2015 16:29:59 +0000 Remaining in truth takes courage. It does not matter whether it is financial, spiritual, emotional, relational or physical truth. If you have given in to fear, shame, hiding, or shame about how you are not truthful, you have given your control away... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC control,courage,destruction,diligence,emotions,fear,god-given,hiding,lies,reclaim,shame,truth http://pfl.org/article/dealing-with-difficult-people Thu, 09 Apr 2015 15:53:56 +0000 Whether it is in our family, church, or work place, we all know people who are difficult to be around. They usually cannot read social cues nor are unaware of how they come across to others. They tend to trample across boundaries, stomp on feelings... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW boundaries,children,church,difficult,equal,family,god's image,people,sympathize,weaknesses,work,social cues,trample http://pfl.org/article/god-is-for-you-romans-831 Thu, 02 Apr 2015 15:50:08 +0000 He is not against you. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done or who you’ve been. When you accept God’s free gift of redemption you are clean and fully accepted. You are not a foster child wondering and hoping that maybe if you behave well enough the... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC accepted,child of god,clean,family,free,gift,god,heirs,redemption http://pfl.org/article/the-mind-wanders-a-good-thing Thu, 26 Mar 2015 15:46:06 +0000 A habit of our mind wandering off the thing at hand from time to time is common throughout the day. Neuroscience tells us that this is a helpful thing for our brains. The default-mode network in the brain is online when your mind is wandering... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC brain,creativity,focusing,mind,wandering,day-dreaming http://pfl.org/article/overspent Thu, 19 Mar 2015 18:04:14 +0000 Do you have a home like this? One in which you are unable to be at peace. At the moment you may feel tired. Tired of the whole scene. OVERspending in an attempt to have the kind of life you feel you need or deserve sets you up. Herein lies the... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC contentment,home,overspending,peace,stress,tired,overspent http://pfl.org/article/cfh-new-groups-forming-for-spring-2015 Wed, 18 Mar 2015 20:02:30 +0000 CFH - NEW GROUPS FORMING FOR SPRING 2015 Title: Putting Fear in Its Place Facilitated by: Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC A 4-week group that focuses on overcoming fears that feed unhealthy behavior. Dates: Tuesdays, March 31 through April 21... behavior,behaviors,boundaries,boundary,class,classes,couples,family,fear,group,groups,guilt,guilty,healthy,marriage,needs,relationships,relationship,unhealthy http://pfl.org/article/positive-impact-by-positive-thoughts Thu, 05 Mar 2015 18:58:39 +0000 Our thoughts are built by our minds, wills and emotions. Negative thoughts can adversely affect our health if left unchecked. With the Lord's help, our minds can be renewed. December 2014 Volume 21, Issue 5 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW anger,biology,brains,connection,disappointment,emotion,fear,frustration,health,hurt,impact,mind,negative,neurons,overload,patterns,physiology,positive impact,positive thoughts,psychology,thoughts,unique,will,chemical reaction,dr. caroline leaf,chemical http://pfl.org/article/dearly-loved-children Thu, 05 Mar 2015 18:59:56 +0000 Most parents know what it’s like to be so fully in love with a person for no reason other than they belong to you. The moment a child is conceived he or she becomes part of the family and is deeply loved. Ask most any mom or dad whether their love is... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC acceptance,behavior,belong,child,children,dad,deeply,family,god's,love,loved,mom,parents,behaves http://pfl.org/article/how-to-deal-with-stress-bad-habits-and-addictions-self-soothing Mon, 02 Mar 2015 19:59:29 +0000 Addiction, bad habits, and unwanted behavior; no matter what you are dealing with in these realms, there is help available in the process of overcoming these things. If you are stuck "in running to your favorite drug," there are ways to... Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC addictions,alcohol,anger,angry,anxious,bad habits,brain,breathe,dangers,drugs,fear,fight,flight,freeze,harms,heartbeat,hungry,hurting,lonely,nervous system,overeating,pornography,skills,stress,stressors,tired,triggered,triggers,unhealthy,keywords http://pfl.org/article/the-home-place Thu, 26 Feb 2015 17:05:13 +0000 We long to belong. Where have we felt peace, acceptance and love? Often that "home" place is where we remember feeling comfortable and safe. God knows we long to feel these feelings and provides this safe place with Him. December 2014 Volume 21, Issue 5 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC acceptance,at home,at peace,comfort,feelings,god,god is our home place,hiding place,home,home place,jesus,longing,love,peace,safe http://pfl.org/article/fight-for-your-right Thu, 26 Feb 2015 18:58:39 +0000 We own our feelings, thoughts and behaviors. We do not own the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of others. But what does this mean exactly? December 2014 Volume 21, Issue 5 Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC actions,anger,attitudes,boundaries,children,choices,confusion,control,family,feelings,friendships,guilt,marriage,reality,resistance,respond,responses,thoughts,guilt messages,character self-control http://pfl.org/article/crying-for-joy Thu, 26 Feb 2015 18:54:48 +0000 Ever notice that sometimes people cry for joy? It seems an opposite reaction to the moment doesn’t it; being so happy one cries? The opposite is also true. Sometimes people smile at the most awkward times. Have you seen this? A person is... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC awkward,balance,cries,cry,emotional,expressions,happy,joy,opposite,personal,pressure,smile,tension http://pfl.org/article/the-act-of-forgiveness Thu, 19 Feb 2015 18:50:48 +0000 As children we are taught to forgive. We obediently say we forgive so we get things over with in order to go on with our day. Extending grace is the beginning of forgiveness. As adults, making the decision to extend grace does not mean we are not... Dear Rosa Compiled by Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Compiled by Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC adults,beginning,boundaries,children,condone,defile,extending,forgive,forgiveness.,grace,hurt,nurturing,obediently,obstacle,offense,rebuild,remove,root,spirit,taught,trouble,trust,sprout bitterness http://pfl.org/article/whatever-is-lovely Thu, 12 Feb 2015 18:46:16 +0000 Our thoughts are built by our minds, wills and emotions. Negative thoughts can adversely affect our health if left unchecked. Scientists now estimate that 87% - 95% of illnesses come directly from our thought life, regardless if the illness is... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW brains,connections,emotional,emotions,excellent,grow,health,illness,lovely,mental,minds,moldable,negative,noble,physical,positive,praiseworthy,pure,renewing,right,things,think,thought,thoughts,transformed,true,wills,illnesses,changeable,admirable http://pfl.org/article/god-is-love Thu, 05 Feb 2015 18:40:14 +0000 1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” So many of us live in perpetual fear of God’s anger or disapproval. And this is... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC anger,arms,choice,devil,disapproval,drives,fear,god's,grace,greater,invitation,kind,love,mercy,open,perfect love,punishment,reality,redemptive,relationship,wide,wrong,pocket full of rocks http://pfl.org/article/i-appreciate-you Thu, 29 Jan 2015 18:32:09 +0000 Express appreciation whenever you can. We all know someone who makes us feel appreciated. If it is not obvious flattery or apple-polishing, appreciation makes us feel good. Practice appreciation with honesty and brevity and you will find others... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC appreciate,appreciation,brevity,express,family,flattery,honesty,obvious,practice,work,appreciated,apple-polishing http://pfl.org/article/go-with-what-you-know Thu, 22 Jan 2015 18:27:55 +0000 Sharing your faith, a life event, or something important to you fills some people with worry: worry about being accepted, respected or even understood. Keeping these events simple is a foundational principle that I often need reminding of. Even the... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC accepted,answer,challenge,evangelism,evangelize,experienced,faith,important,questions,respected,sharing,simple,understood,worry http://pfl.org/article/negative-thoughts-to-positive-thoughts Thu, 08 Jan 2015 18:20:42 +0000 What happens when we have negative thoughts, and hang on to anger, frustration, disappointment, fear or hurt? According to neuropsychologist ,Dr. Caroline Leaf, each thought we have creates a chemical reaction. When we experience love, joy... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW anger,brain,chemical reaction,disappointment,dr. caroline leaf,emotions,fear,flood,frustration,happiness,help,hurt,joy,lord,lord's,love,negative,passion,peace,positive,thoughts,neuropsychologist,overloaded http://pfl.org/article/the-model-parent Thu, 01 Jan 2015 18:07:05 +0000 How do you define success as a parent? Is it a child who reads before kindergarten? A teenager who got into an Ivy League or Division I college? A kid who texts and calls you a lot? It's easy to fall into a parenting "default", which is... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC care,child,childhood,comprehensive,emotionally,family,god,information,ministries,model,parent,period,physically,relationally,relationship,skills,spiritually,training,psychologically,family therapists http://pfl.org/article/having-your-moments Thu, 25 Dec 2014 17:45:16 +0000 The clock ticks and you are aware of things you must do. However, you’ve just had a “moment.” A God moment. Maybe you’ve watched a child at play or you’ve been walking or working outside. Perhaps you have been listening to music or you noticed... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC attention,capture,clock,connection,god,here,life,moment,moments,pause,share,shared,ticks,time away,treasure http://pfl.org/article/wage-war Thu, 18 Dec 2014 17:40:38 +0000 When you are in a war, listening to advisors is crucial, especially if you wish to have the best chance of winning. Thinking you know best and blazing forward leaves you alone at the front. Healthy living, thinking, choosing requires war, war on... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC advisors,alone,battle,counselors,family,friends,greed,healthy living,listening,lord,pastors,pride,selfishness,thinking,trusted,war,winner,winning http://pfl.org/article/one-thought Thu, 11 Dec 2014 19:18:30 +0000 Our thoughts are now known to literally reside in our brains and actually take on physical forms. These forms called neurons resemble trees. Positive thoughts are full with many branches, places of connection, and patterns. However, negative... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW brains,connection,lord,lovely,negative,neurons,patterns,physical,positive,pure,stop,thought,thoughts,tree,trees,true,withered,cascade effect,consciously,lord's help http://pfl.org/article/worry-or-pray-and-take-inventory Thu, 04 Dec 2014 19:01:59 +0000 It is so easy to worry. With all the conveniences and connections in modern society, ending up overwhelmed and full of doubt and worry is almost inevitable. But, there is a better way. Finding it involves going against the current, but the battle is... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC anxiety,battle,doubt,overwhelmed,worry,change,clutter,important,legacy,mental,pray,priorities,values,vanish http://pfl.org/article/joseph-was-left-to-die-by-his-brothers Fri, 28 Nov 2014 20:07:38 +0000 If anyone had reason to remain bitter, it was Joseph in the book of Genesis. Yet he forgave his brothers, was reconciled to them, and provided for them. His forgiveness melted their hearts, and old wounds were somehow healed. Forgiveness isn't... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC biter,bitterness,forgive,forgiveness,joseph,heal,healing,wounds,bible http://pfl.org/article/healing-thoughts Thu, 27 Nov 2014 18:58:06 +0000 This week of Thanksgiving many have a myriad of feelings. When those feelings become uncomfortable, spread your arms wide to the Lord. Feel the feelings, learn from them, then release them to God. Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for our... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC broken hearted,captives,courage,feel,feelings,free,god,heal,healing,imperfect,jesus,lamb,lord,love,oil,plight,redemption,release,save,thanksgiving,uncomfortable,unfailing,worthy http://pfl.org/article/open-rebuke Thu, 20 Nov 2014 18:52:19 +0000 Direct, honest, respect-filled correction will always be a gift to the person receiving it. Over time, one appreciates the truth that is shared. Why? Because it is love. Hidden love isn’t really love. It is self-preservation and leaves the other... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC abandoned,behavior,correction,feedback,firm,freedom,growth,honest,love,loving,respect,risk,selfishness,truth,unhealthy,respect-filled,hidden love http://pfl.org/article/hints-for-survival-as-the-holidays-and-family-are-before-us Mon, 17 Nov 2014 19:56:20 +0000 Before a family gathering: ***Make up your mind and prepare your heart ahead of time to bless and encourage your family members. ***Avoid a judgmental attitude about family members’ decisions, viewpoints and lifestyle choices. This may take some... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC family,gatherings,heart,bless,encourage,judgmental,attitude,viewpoints,lifestyle,choices,rest,unrealistic expectations,stress,differences,holidays http://pfl.org/article/wonderfully-made Fri, 14 Nov 2014 19:42:50 +0000 “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfuly made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139-14. King David, the writer of Psalm 139, informs us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. The Lord created us uniquely and... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW praise,fearfully,wonderfully,made,works,psalm 139,king david,fingerprints,footprints,voiceprints,unique,biology,physiology,psychology,workmanship http://pfl.org/article/slippery-slope Thu, 06 Nov 2014 18:41:48 +0000 Who hasn't heard the phrase "slippery slope"? The road to corruption certainly is one. It's easy to justify something that doesn't seem that bad, only to find that you've justified each step after the first with the same... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC addiction,behavior,corruption,hope,skills,slippery slope http://pfl.org/article/weakness Tue, 04 Nov 2014 19:38:01 +0000 “ I am weak but thou art strong...Jesus keep me from all wrong...” This country western song is one my Mother liked. I picture her at the stove singing along to the tune twanging out from the cupboard where the radio was kept. We don’t like weakness... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC weak,weakness,strong,jesus,wrong,habit,out of control http://pfl.org/article/greedy Thu, 30 Oct 2014 18:37:11 +0000 Greed and withholding a blessing when it is yours to give are very much alike. Seeing something good in someone and holding back a validation of it because you think you’ll lose something of yourself is greedy. Withhold not good from them to whom it... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC blessing,good,greed,validation,withholding,proverbs 3:27 http://pfl.org/article/you-are-wanted Sun, 26 Oct 2014 15:29:11 +0000 I don’t know how you came to be in this world. I don’t know who has walked out of your front door or who has walked out or been taken out of your heart. I don’t know if finding a seat with that group you wanted to be a part of was easy for you or if... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC dayspring,heart,life,group,wanted,you,are,rejection,acceptance,grace,god,dreamed,world,declaration http://pfl.org/article/fighting-dogs Thu, 23 Oct 2014 15:00:14 +0000 Ever grab a stray dog by the ear? The likelihood of the dog turning to take a bite out of you is high. The same is true when we rush into a quarrel that is not ours to be involved in. Getting involved without permission or invitation for feedback runs... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC bite,quarrel,involved,permission,friends,family,disagreement,middle,rush,bitten http://pfl.org/article/enormous-power Thu, 16 Oct 2014 14:53:52 +0000 We all have pre-recorded tapes that play in our minds. These tapes were largely created in our childhood. Our experiences as teens and adults can make some modifications to the tapes. For some of us we hear, “You are competent,” “you are worthy;”... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW words,power,enormous,tapes,childhood,experiences,teens,adults,competent,worthy,children,recordings,friends,family,blessing,encouraging,kind,compassionate,uplift,encourage,use http://pfl.org/article/discernment Thu, 09 Oct 2014 14:49:24 +0000 Discernment is an important and often overlooked ability in our relativistic society. Even though it's not a popular term it's still a necessary part of having healthy boundaries with ourselves and others. There is a law of cause and... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC discernment,healthy,boundaries,cause,effect,discern,right,wrong,relationships,pitfalls,pains,decisions,stand,fall http://pfl.org/article/sharing Thu, 02 Oct 2014 18:17:30 +0000 I am in a several day reunion with very old friends. I hear them chattering away in the other room. We talked into the very late night last night about how we are doing and how things are going. A wonder filled review of the faithfulness of God... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC friends,reunion,talking,all,faithfulness,god,heart,share,sharing,review,spoken,unspoken,prayers,encouragement http://pfl.org/article/grabby-people Thu, 25 Sep 2014 18:14:20 +0000 Grabby people are not fun. They suck the air out of the room for the sake of feeling like they are somebody. The behavior speaks for itself…little self-control or self-respect, no awareness of what others have contributed. Respecting who has done what... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC grabby,people,somebody,behavior,self-control,self-respect,awareness,others,contributed,respect,respecting,security,truth,life,team,effort,somebody,god,significance,love,loves,rest http://pfl.org/article/being-who-you-are Thu, 25 Sep 2014 18:03:16 +0000 Ever say what you think people want to hear? Ever try to keep others from being angry, afraid, going away, or disliking you? So much of this type of communication is a need to control. The need to control traps us. We end up feeling like victims... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC communication,control,trap,traps,angry,like,liking,afraid,dislike,disliking,victims,martyrs,say,gentle,stand,tactless,cruel,free,made,god http://pfl.org/article/crabby Wed, 24 Sep 2014 17:55:26 +0000 Did you know if you put a crab in a bucket it will crawl out? If you put two crabs in a bucket niether will crawl out. When one tries to climb out, the other will pull it down. So it is with people with whom we surround ourselves. Negative people pull... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC negative,people,positive,friends,negativity,pull,down,surround,ourselves,grip http://pfl.org/article/the-upside-of-change Thu, 18 Sep 2014 18:13:44 +0000 We all get into patterns of acting and reacting to one another; especially in close relationships. However, sometimes those actions and reactions are unhealthy and need to change in order for the relationship to flourish. We not only need to be... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW patterns,acting,reacting,relationships,healthy,unhealthy,change,conscious,effort,behavior,created http://pfl.org/article/building-an-altar Thu, 11 Sep 2014 18:00:30 +0000 If you know anything about the Israelites in the Bible then you know they often forgot all that God had done for them. You’d think after witnessing so many miraculous things they’d have no trouble believing, right? Well, we’re the same as the... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC altar,build,miraculous,believing,believe,troubles,trials,worry,fret,angry,blame,god,honest,guilt,remember,create,creating,remind http://pfl.org/article/genuinely-happy-for-you Wed, 10 Sep 2014 18:32:42 +0000 Sharing your good news; Sometimes people are happy for you and sometimes they respond with little or no affirmation. According to five different studies, when another person responds with positive enthusiasm for you, lots of good things happen. A... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC happy,sharing,enthusiasm,positive,genuine,genuinely,relationship,enjoy,experience,trusting,willing,confide http://pfl.org/article/no-one-listens-to-me Thu, 04 Sep 2014 15:14:28 +0000 Do you have the sense that you are often being ignored or brushed aside? If it happens a lot at work, in your marriage, or at social gatherings it is a sign that your relationships are in trouble. People listen to people they like. They also listen... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC ignored,work,marriage,relationships,trouble,listen,respect,angry,bitter,negative,honest,conversation http://pfl.org/article/pronouncements Thu, 28 Aug 2014 15:19:03 +0000 Saying what we are going to do and doing it are two different things. Pronouncements are well-intended plans and promises, but not always thought through. These statements take place when we do not take a look at what actually is needed or may be... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC pronouncements,well-intended,plans,promises,statements,meaning,say,boast,embellish,trust,teach,believe,security,acceptance,foot of the cross http://pfl.org/article/reflections-are-you-lovable Wed, 27 Aug 2014 16:24:57 +0000 Love relationships are a mirror. We learn how and if we are lovable only by our interactions with people we love. Young children don’t think about the overworked mother who is stressed or a raging father’s childhood, they simply attribute negative... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC love,relationships,parent,child,children,overworked,mother,stressed,father,father's,childhood,rage,raging,lovability,faulty,healing,recovery,god,mad,loves,mirror,reflects http://pfl.org/article/tell-children-as-soon-as-you-know Thu, 21 Aug 2014 16:12:14 +0000 Experts emphasize that parents should tell their children about their serious illness as soon as possible. Since children are able to sense very small changes in the dynamics of the family, neglecting to tell them about the illness will only make it... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC serious,illness,parents,children,child,sense,dynamics,family,neglecting,troubling,secret,tell http://pfl.org/article/more-of-him Thu, 21 Aug 2014 14:44:56 +0000 Several years ago, I ran into my friend, Pam, and her six children at the store. All six children were either in the cart or holding onto the cart as they walked through the aisles. They were yelling, “We don’t need any, we don’t want any, you can’t... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW need,want,buy,teaching,concepts,everything,attaining,empty,god,provide,more of him http://pfl.org/article/when-we-walk-in-their-shoes-when-is-enough Thu, 14 Aug 2014 16:08:29 +0000 There are many types of empathy. The sort that can momentarily feel another's concern and then step out to one's own perspective is best. A study sometime back showed that nurses who had the genuine empathy then stepping back type of ability... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC empathy,concern,feel,genuine,hospice,pain,concerns,poorly,performed,carry,burdens,feelings http://pfl.org/article/the-difference-between-hurt-and-harm Thu, 14 Aug 2014 14:38:55 +0000 Consider this – sometimes love must be tough. True love’s goal isn’t to make the loved one happy; it’s for his or her best. And sometimes the best hurts or incites anger (and anger always comes from hurt, fear, or frustration anyway). Oftentimes... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC love,tough,happy,best,anger,hurt,fear,frustration,harm,negative,behavior,inflicting,pain,hurts,remove,internet,reaction,problems,consequences,delight,evil,rejoices,truth http://pfl.org/article/blaming-others Mon, 11 Aug 2014 16:02:00 +0000 I heard a great story about a man who had a squeaky rocking chair. He worked on it long and hard yet every time he sat in it and rocked it still squeaked. Finally in exasperation, he took his shot gun and blew it to smithereens. To his surprise, he... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC irritation,source,assign,blame,problem,wrong,fault,examine http://pfl.org/article/men-often-feel-stuck Sun, 10 Aug 2014 16:29:13 +0000 Once in a while I try to count the men/couples I've worked with in the therapy room over the forty plus years of listening to them share their concerns. The total of men with whom I've spoken privately number in the many hundreds. I have to... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC men,emotions,double-bind,expressing,feelings,women,show,doses,handle,express http://pfl.org/article/pity-or-empathy Tue, 05 Aug 2014 17:26:49 +0000 Do you have a sick friend or family member? Consider that pity shows a type of hopelessness. It can be a type of “awfulizing.” Empathy genuinely comes along side, shows encouragement, and it does not go to the pit of fear that pity can. So….do you... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC pity,empathy,sick,hopelessness,awfulizing,genuine,genuinely,encouragement,pit,fear http://pfl.org/article/parentteen-cell-phone-contract Sat, 02 Aug 2014 15:55:49 +0000 Adapted From: Burley-Hofmann --1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest? --2. I will always know the password. --3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC cell,phone,manners,contract,ignore,loan,answer,conversation,life,costs,replacement,school,text http://pfl.org/article/how-do-i-look Fri, 01 Aug 2014 15:36:52 +0000 A great article at PFL.org: "How Do I Look." Many points to consider as the children in your life learn about the difference between what media says is beautiful and real beauty. Here is a sample: "Do NOT allow demeaning/contemptuous... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC looks,children,beautiful,real,demeaning,contemptuous,comments,contempt,hurtful,remark,remarks http://pfl.org/article/jealousy Thu, 31 Jul 2014 15:24:34 +0000 Notice how you feel inside the next time someone else experiences success beyond what you expected. Is there a sense of rejoicing or is there envy? If not watched, success and influence corrupts one’s ability to rejoice in the success of others. Our... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC jealous,jealousy,success,feel,envy,rejoice,pride,hurt,insecurity,performance,seduction,better,others,god,guard,heart,life http://pfl.org/article/how-do-i-look Sun, 27 Jul 2014 01:32:31 +0000 Moms and daughters often worry about how they look. Some girls report thinking about it ‘'constantly.” This article gives parents do’s and don’ts about the question girls have about how they look. Meant for moms and dads and all whom are in... August 2014, Volume 21, Issue 4 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC self esteem,media,thin,positive,body image,mirror,self review,feedback,what dads think,what mom thinks,peer pressure,magazine image,air brush,air brushing,talent,talents,beauty,inner beauty http://pfl.org/article/beyond-roommates Thu, 24 Jul 2014 14:25:09 +0000 “It is like we are roommates. We don’t fight, we get along, but something is still missing from our marriage.” I have heard this remark time and time again in the therapy room from couples who feel something is missing. The relationship may have... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW marriage,roommates,couples,relationship,commitment,prioritizing,time,dreams,hopes,fears,tears,laughter,fulfilling http://pfl.org/article/challenge-needed Wed, 23 Jul 2014 16:29:49 +0000 Has it occurred to you that we need challenge? God provides challenge because we often need practice turning to Him in our fears. Turning to God helps us grow in trust and in determination to watch for how He is going to work things out. Of course we... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC challenge,fears,god,trust,determination,empty,doom and gloom,crisis,lord,loving,enemy,teacher,hands,heavenly father http://pfl.org/article/hyper-alert Fri, 18 Jul 2014 16:31:51 +0000 There are people on hyper-alert much of the time. To them every little thing needs examination. They seem to react to the smallest detail just slightly off balance especially in relationships as in "I saw you look at me funny, why did you do... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC anxiety,anxious,hyper,alert,react,relationships,paranoia,stress,peace,time,constant,real,perceived,danger,child,adult http://pfl.org/article/are-your-boundaries-being-respected Thu, 17 Jul 2014 18:05:23 +0000 Every season on TV, networks try to push cultural lines farther and farther. Political groups work to change how society thinks and works. Boundary breaking individuals try to push us to compromise our standards. We live in a boundary breaking... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC boundary,boundaries,culture,cultural,society,individuals,established,offenders,push,breaking,boundary breaking,respected,standards,stand up http://pfl.org/article/a-nice-and-unique-conversation Wed, 16 Jul 2014 18:06:23 +0000 Just for the fun of it, here are a few questions (each one taking turns answering) that might make for a nice conversation: 1. Given the choice of having anyone in the world over for dinner, who would it be and why? 2. What would constitute a perfect... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC nice,conversation,dinner,perfect day,sing,grateful,life,questions,fun http://pfl.org/article/listen Sat, 12 Jul 2014 18:06:46 +0000 "Listening is such a simple act," wrote management consultant Margaret J. Wheatley. "It requires us to be present, and that takes practice, but we don't have to do anything else. We don't have to advise, or coach, or sound... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC listen,listening,simple,present,practice,advise,coach,wise,sit,willing http://pfl.org/article/opposing-view-what-to-do Thu, 10 Jul 2014 18:09:19 +0000 Most relationship communication about “issues” involves two different viewpoints. A key to a clear path through a controversial subject is for both people to truly hear the other’s viewpoint. Before attempting to really hear another’s point of view... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC communication,relationship,issues,different,opposing,viewpoints,controversial,contempt,unresolved,validate,hear,agree,resolution http://pfl.org/article/none-of-us-is-that-far-from-crazy Thu, 10 Jul 2014 18:07:38 +0000 God is God even in intense inner turmoil. People actually believe crazy thoughts. They believe them for lots of reasons, take your pick; nature, nurture, influence, or drugs. None of us is that far from crazy. Yesterday I sat with a woman who shared... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC god,heals,turmoil,crazy,thoughts,bizarre,healthy,help,scripture,belief,god's love,spirit,fear,power,truth,sanity,sane,broken,jehovah rapha http://pfl.org/article/courage Thu, 03 Jul 2014 18:10:20 +0000 Looking into the face of need takes courage. It takes even more courage to give what you have to give. Some can give money, some compassion, others food and shelter, more importantly we all can pray. Peter and John did this to one man on their way to... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC courage,give,money,compassion,food,shelter,pray,physically,spiritually,need,dare http://pfl.org/article/well-get-through-it Tue, 01 Jul 2014 18:14:27 +0000 If you knew you only had minutes left to live, what choices would you regret? Would you wish you had spent more time at work? Would you think about money you never earned? What would be the kinds of choices you would want back? You would think about... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC choices,regret,work,money,god,people,love,talk,friendship http://pfl.org/article/take-a-look-around Thu, 26 Jun 2014 18:15:05 +0000 Have you ever taken a look around and wondered how did I get here? Whether we were driving on autopilot or intended to get one place and ended up somewhere else because we were in the habit of going in a particular direction. Likewise, sometimes when... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW circumstances,direction,god,approval,understand,promises,beginning,end. http://pfl.org/article/be-content Wed, 25 Jun 2014 18:15:51 +0000 "To be content with little is hard; to be content with much, impossible." -- Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach (1830-1916), Austrian writer Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC content,contentment,hard,impossible http://pfl.org/article/dont-be-ruled-by-anger-bitterness-or-resentment Thu, 19 Jun 2014 18:16:20 +0000 What’s ruling you? Anger, bitterness, and resentment are hard emotions to deal with. They often manifest in many different ways in our lives, including outbursts of anger, passive-aggressiveness, depression, and through other harmful avenues. Do a... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC forgiveness therapy,anger,bitterness,resentment,emotions,passive-agressiveness,depression,harmful,god,reveal,hidden,mad,sad,bad,forgive,forgiveness,forgiveness s a choice http://pfl.org/article/our-life-blood Tue, 17 Jun 2014 18:21:29 +0000 Posted by Randy Bohon: I hope this is not long but I woke this morning at 4am thinking about things and this analogy came to me, for me. Maybe it will mean something to someone else. Besides anesthesiology I work in Hyperbaric Medicine. This is... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC heal,hurts,life,blood,sick,anger,atmosphere,pressurized,holiness,holy spirit,christ,injured,blood vessels,medicine,growth http://pfl.org/article/we-dont-have-the-full-picture Thu, 12 Jun 2014 18:22:16 +0000 Have you ever tuned in to a TV show in the middle for a few minutes or picked up a book and read just a page or two the middle? The story just doesn’t make sense. It is because you don’t have the beginning or the end surrounding what you have seen... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC beginning,end,crises,worry,worrying,faithfulness,god,story http://pfl.org/article/when-we-apologize Tue, 10 Jun 2014 04:28:39 +0000 Apologies are so easily thrown out that it becomes difficult to known when they are genuine. Brenda defines a few steps that help us define what it is we apologize for, the impact we believe our offense has imposed on the recipient, and the necessity... June 2014, Volume 21, Issue 3 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC apology,apologies,confession,explanation,remorse,forgiveness,acknowledge,admit,concede,disclose,reveal,submit,respect http://pfl.org/article/what-we-think-we-knowmay-be-harmfully-wrong Fri, 06 Jun 2014 18:23:07 +0000 Some of the best advice I've received is to question what I think I know about people. Many don’t know, but they think they know. (And, they like to talk about what they think they know.) It’s a dangerous supposition in relationship to others to... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC relationship,doubt,supposition,solid,know,believe,wisdom,advice http://pfl.org/article/change Thu, 05 Jun 2014 18:23:33 +0000 Change is a joint effort. Most of our growth in life comes from hearing and seeing what others are doing, then integrating what works with our own lives. Little children learn by copying those older than them. Sometimes that is great and other times a... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC change,growth,lives,help,sow,seeds,root,god http://pfl.org/article/unwanted-sexual-thoughts-and-kicking-them-out Fri, 30 May 2014 18:26:23 +0000 Fifty Shades of Lies is a possible book title yet to be written. (Fifty Shades of Gray is basically a so called soft porn book and very popular.) Sexual stimulation in our culture works its way into a “normalcy” that isn’t normal at all. 1... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC fifty shades of gray,fifty,shades,lies,porn,sexual,stimulation,temptation,stop,exposure,escape,god,invasive,thoughts,struggle,cleanse,unrighteousness,unfailing,love http://pfl.org/article/make-a-healthier-choice Thu, 29 May 2014 18:27:17 +0000 We’ve all got habits we’d like to change. Maybe it’s a disrespectful tone taken with a spouse or child at certain moments. Maybe it’s the tendency to go to things like coffee or the internet for comfort instead of God. We’d all like to make healthier... Dear Rosa Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC habits,change,comfort,healthy,unhealthy,internet,god,choice,choices,tool,sinful,patterns,concerns,guidance,wisdom,power,halt,hurting,hungry,angry,lonely,tired,behavior,practice,prayer http://pfl.org/article/affairs-dont-solve-the-problem Wed, 21 May 2014 15:51:42 +0000 If you are having an affair and want your marriage, you will need to end your affair. People often look outside the marriage to avoid a personal look at why they chose their spouse in the first place. Very simply put (and not all there is to it) that... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC affair,affairs,marriage,solve,problem,end,spouse,attributes,complicated,hope,responsible,changes,personal,choice,development http://pfl.org/article/transference-and-parenting Mon, 19 May 2014 16:57:06 +0000 From: Nancy Rappaport, M.D., associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. Resiliency Strategy for Parenting: Watch out for transference. This is when something from one's own life clouds the ability to see a child for who he... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC transference,transfer,parents,parenting,parent,child,behavior,red flag,source,baggage,helpful,unremembered,experience,childhood http://pfl.org/article/i-will Thu, 15 May 2014 15:51:00 +0000 A list of things to be accomplished on any given day is always different at the beginning of the day than at the end. More typically, it is much shorter; not that anyone is surprised about this. The list is shorter because the initial list of tasks is... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC list,things,accomplished,tasks,challenging,time management,energy,limitations,exhausting http://pfl.org/article/freak-or-forge-on Fri, 09 May 2014 18:50:39 +0000 Did you know that in Chinese, the symbol for the word “crisis” is the same symbol used for the word “opportunity?” Two sides of the same coin. In other words, perspective is everything at and after these times. Your next crisis may be your next... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC crisis,opportunity,perspective http://pfl.org/article/twists-and-turns Thu, 08 May 2014 20:18:36 +0000 In the twists and turns of life, we all get bumps and bruises along the way. Sometimes we can feel so down and defeated that the only way to look is up. At times like that, it is important to remember the truth – God’s truth: No matter what our... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW twists,turns,life,bumps,bruises,down,defeated,god's truth,god's,truth,love,loves,value,significance,jesus,cross,eternally http://pfl.org/article/standing-firm Thu, 24 Apr 2014 15:29:23 +0000 Suffering happens. Suffering is part of the “stuff of life.” Grieving this reality is tough especially when you lost home, job, children, or security. Standing firm in what you know is real becomes foundational. God loves me. God is for me. I am... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC suffering,grieving,standing,firm,god,love,lovable,easy,difficult,respond,integrity,character,sinking http://pfl.org/article/daydreaming-is-good Thu, 17 Apr 2014 16:49:27 +0000 We used to think daydreaming was a sign of lazy, wandering minds. Recent research out of St. Louis and Yale indicates that daydreaming is good. It gives our brains a chance to try on behaviors. It also reboots our brains for future goal-directed... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC daydreaming,lazy,wandering,brain,minds,brains,behaviors,imagine,focus http://pfl.org/article/evaluation Thu, 17 Apr 2014 15:36:00 +0000 How many times have we evaluated ourselves based on someone else’s opinion of us? If we are honest with ourselves - probably too many times to count. We cannot control another person's reaction to us or of our work... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW evaluation,evaluate,opinion,honest,reaction,accountable,behavior,attitude http://pfl.org/article/kids-with-fears-get-the-real-deal Thu, 10 Apr 2014 21:13:56 +0000 We work a lot with children who have fears. There are many ways to help them through to calm, but the first step is to MAKE SURE YOU UNDERSTAND THE CHILD’S FEAR BEFORE TRYING TO ALLAY IT. Listen carefully to your child as they explain what’s... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC children,child,fear,fears,help,calm,understand,listen,carefully,busy,parenting,worry,source,problem http://pfl.org/article/who-owns-the-problem Wed, 09 Apr 2014 18:39:27 +0000 If you have listened to Practical Family Living on radio very much, you have heard me ask "who owns the problem?" We can be loving, supportive, nurturing, and caring to the point of our own spiritual/emotional neglect. It's the last... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC own,owns,problem,spiritual,emotional,neglect,loving,supportive,nurturing,caring,god,help,support,coping,mechanisms,burdensome,relationship http://pfl.org/article/when-people-stumble Thu, 03 Apr 2014 20:36:48 +0000 So many, especially those in positions of authority, are held to a higher standard. The same happens in families. When someone you admire is in authority over you and they fail, it’s a test. Are you going to treat them with respect or are you going to... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC stumble,authority,higher,standard,families,admire,fall,test,treat,respect,faults,vulnerability,respect,relationship,death,trust,mercy,grace,need http://pfl.org/article/an-audience-of-one Thu, 27 Mar 2014 15:31:56 +0000 At times, it is easy to forget that ultimately we live and work for an audience of One. We can get caught up in the present and try to please those around us first. But we are called to be faithful to the Lord, not to be perfect or pleasing to man in... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW audience,please,faithful,lord,perfect,pleasing,god,evaluate,results,judge,attitude,heart http://pfl.org/article/interesting-brain-function-info-from-our-mental-health-clinic Tue, 25 Mar 2014 15:56:57 +0000 *Research findings in brain function in Center for Family Healing therapy with couples and individuals: (More found at pfl.org.) An interesting aspect of recent relationship research is that the brain triggers hormones, with both positive and... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC brain,function,works,triggered,triggers,hormones,respond,good,healthy,respond,tension,relationships,intervention,therapists,clients,families,couples,neurobiology,help http://pfl.org/article/owning-who-we-are Mon, 24 Mar 2014 14:16:03 +0000 Owning Who We Are Part of owning who God made us to be is learning to communicate clearly. We don't have to beat around the bush in our conversations to make sure others are "OK" with what we are attempting to say. Hinting at what we... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC part,owning,god,learning,communicate,clearly,hinting,need,indirect,stepping,toes,tactful,assertive,yes,no,omnipotent,cares,invite http://pfl.org/article/leaving-the-results-to-god Fri, 21 Mar 2014 14:55:33 +0000 We can get caught up in the present and try to please those around us first. But we are called to be faithful to the Lord, not to be perfect or pleasing to man in all that we do. April 2014, Volume 21, Issue 2 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW performance,perfection,faithful,faithfulness,critique,judgment,judgmental,parenting,confront,attitude,heart,people pleasing,pleasing others,god's love,accountable,accountability,disappoint,disappointment http://pfl.org/article/the-power-of-the-ask Thu, 20 Mar 2014 15:26:16 +0000 The Power of the Ask (What I've seen of this blog, I like-Lynda) "It did not feel good to say I needed something, to say I was lacking. But I’m (re-)learning that it’s the beginning of everything good. People have been eager to help, but... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC power,ask,need,needed,learning,good,people,eager,help,missing,painful,vulnerable http://pfl.org/article/beliefs-that-mess-you-up Mon, 17 Mar 2014 15:00:01 +0000 (From the Archives at PFL.org) *She/he already knows how I feel. *Who cares if anyone else suffers? I have rights too. *I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone. *If you want to get ahead, you have to step on a few toes. *What if I say the wrong thing? *Nice... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC beliefs,mess,suffer,feel,hurt,step,toes,win,feel,care,scared,right,monopolize,conversation http://pfl.org/article/hardened Thu, 13 Mar 2014 15:00:36 +0000 A hardened heart or mind does not happen overnight. It is nurtured, discussed, rehearsed, and even justified by well-meaning individuals. As understandable as mad, bad, sad feelings are, we have a responsibility to consider how we manage these... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC hardened,heart,mad,bad,sad,feelings,responsibility,cain,god,sin,root,unrest,wandering,exile,rest,jealous,resentful,punishing,change,course http://pfl.org/article/anxiety-head-on Thu, 06 Mar 2014 15:35:18 +0000 Anxiety is meant to be a normal reaction to the occasional stressful situation. However, many people experience it excessively and suffer because it has come to be an everyday thing. There are three good habits that can help you if this experience... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC anxiety,fear,fearful,responsible,assume,reaction,stress,stressful,breath,learn,walk,worry,worrying,help,god,suffer http://pfl.org/article/rebuffed-and-ruffled-can-make-you-smarter Wed, 05 Mar 2014 19:13:09 +0000 Everyone hurts. There is a special kind of hurt when we are slighted. Our sensitivities to rejection heighten. A Duke University study showed that people who have been recently ignored in a social group tend to better identify smiles that are phony... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC hurt,slighted,rejection,ignored,wounded,need,belong,sensitivity,friend,honest,encourage,encouraging,rebuffed,ruffled,support,wisdom,sorrow http://pfl.org/article/do-over Thu, 27 Feb 2014 19:05:13 +0000 I remember playing 500 with neighbor kids growing up. You probably know the game in which someone kicks the ball up in the air and the other kids try to catch it. Depending on where you catch it, you score points. When someone gets to 500 points then... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW forgiveness,thankful,second chances,do over,help http://pfl.org/article/what-do-you-do-when-someone-has-become-angry-with-you Wed, 26 Feb 2014 18:00:44 +0000 (Not someone abusive or a stranger, but someone who is a close loved one who is normally not an angry person. This angry state has come about concerning something involving the two of you. This commentary speaks to mild anger, not rage or abuse.) 1... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC anger,disagreement,respect,calm,boundary,think,abandon,promise,respectful,needs,trigger http://pfl.org/article/decisions-decisions Thu, 20 Feb 2014 19:10:20 +0000 Waking up to a new day of tasks and events to face can be fun, exciting, challenging or just plain overwhelming depending on how you are hard wired. Being a detail person or a dreamer, it doesn’t matter. Facing the day means facing a blank canvas in... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC decisions,tasks,events,challenging,overwhelming,dreamer,detail,creating,relationship,creator,vision,hope http://pfl.org/article/valentines-day-cheesy-or-not-affection-appreciated Fri, 14 Feb 2014 21:30:33 +0000 The following is from an anonymous male: "We really are in a bind. Yes, it's a schmaltzy holiday, originally associated with St. Valentine, as the legend goes, now thoroughly co-opted by capitalism. Yes, it's better to just have a... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC valentine's day,affection,honor,woman,man,men,romantic,cheesy,special,day http://pfl.org/article/is-forgiveness-therapy-for-you Thu, 13 Feb 2014 03:57:58 +0000 We all have ideas of what forgiveness is and what it isn’t. The most common of these in American society is the saying, “forgive and forget.” But forgetting has very little to do with forgiveness. In fact, forgetting can be a very unhealthy response... February 2014, Volume 21, Issue 1 Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC Carrissa Pannuzzo, M.A., LMFT, LPC forgive,forgiveness,forget,injustice,pain,offense,unfair,anger,right,hurt,feeling,compassion,love http://pfl.org/article/anxietyfearcatastrophizing Fri, 07 Feb 2014 16:02:20 +0000 We all know the uncomfortable feeling of anxiety. Our hearts race, our fingers sweat, and our breathing gets shallow. Racing thoughts dominate about a perceived threat that we think is too much to handle. Our "fight or flight" response has... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC breathing,shallow,threat,perceived,fight or flight,response,attack,brain,anxiety,fear,catastrophe,triggering,hormones,danger,relax,relaxing,muscles,racing,thoughts,reality,mind,panic http://pfl.org/article/blow-up-then-shut-up Tue, 04 Feb 2014 19:05:57 +0000 We all have emotional/relational upheavals. In the midst of these, the last thing most of us want to do is get humble. We want to be loud and proud and prove our point--at least I do. I know by experience that the best thing to do is step away from... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC emotional,upheavals,humble,truth,experience,struggles,quiet,judgment,struggles,problem,answers,emotions,god http://pfl.org/article/super-bowl-sunday-a-side-you-may-not-know Sun, 02 Feb 2014 16:28:35 +0000 "Super Bowl Sunday is upon us; a holiday anticipated by nearly half of all households in the United States. Sadly, while water cooler debaters dissect the virtues of Super Bowl ads and halftime shows and the nation’s eyes are glued to the... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC sex,trafficking,victims,slaves,human trafficking,human,crime http://pfl.org/article/mean-girls Thu, 23 Jan 2014 19:43:59 +0000 The psychological term for mean girls is relational aggression, which is covert bullying using emotionally abusive tactics, psychological control, and manipulation. The added kicker is that not only you as an individual are attacked, but your peer... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC mean,girls,aggression,bullying,abusive,emotionally,control,manipulation,pretended,sweetness,hidden,attacked,peer,peers,relationships,social status http://pfl.org/article/confession-consideration Sat, 18 Jan 2014 18:53:17 +0000 Seeking happiness? We may underestimate something that gives it, especially in important relationships. That something is consideration. Simple, small gestures of kindness go a huge way in stopping tense and negative relationship strain. Gestures such... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC relationships,consideration,confession,nice,forgive,forgiveness,helplessness,anger,grudges,genuine,gratitude,happiness http://pfl.org/article/mistakes-regrets Sun, 12 Jan 2014 19:01:37 +0000 Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC mistake,give up,life,doctor,nurse,regrets http://pfl.org/article/its-just-a-tv-showright Wed, 08 Jan 2014 19:16:43 +0000 Keep your marriage fresh and alive. How? Turn off the TV. Programs that show unrealistic, unstable ups and downs, trust betrayed, and come close/go away relationships of many television programs (often soaps) actually negatively impact marriage... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC marriage,fresh,alive,tv,turn off,unrealistic,unstable,trust,betrayed,soaps,impact,negatively,romantic,relationships http://pfl.org/article/make-a-new-plan-stan Wed, 11 Dec 2013 00:55:15 +0000 A tendency I see in some is to avoid facing that there is a problem…a problem that continues to set them up to be deflated, discouraged, and overwhelmed. We keep “slipping out the back.” Yet, leaving the situation will not help in the long term. With... December 2013, Volume 20, Issue 6 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC anxiety,self-sabotage,money,parenting,relationships http://pfl.org/article/perfectionism-and-the-parent-child-relationship Fri, 29 Nov 2013 20:02:35 +0000 In the parent-child relationship, perfectionism sets up unrealistic standards of behavior and performance for the child. When the child does not meet these expectations, the child is subtly shamed. The parent views the imperfections as a personal... Dear Rosa Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW parent,child,relationship,perfectionism,unrealistic,expectations,behavior,performance,shame,shamed,discipline,disappointment,imperfection,growth,loved,accepted http://pfl.org/article/forgiveness-means-time Thu, 14 Nov 2013 01:07:39 +0000 Not too long ago I met with an eleven-year-old girl who was being adopted by her stepfather. Her father left her mother when she was two months old refusing to have anything to do with them. This she knew only because of what had been passed on... Dear Rosa Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC grief,understanding,allowing,experience,god's,love,death,comfort,grieve,cry,denial http://pfl.org/article/this-is-a-season-of-loss-for-some Sat, 09 Nov 2013 17:31:35 +0000 We have seasons when we mourn for our lost loved ones. For some, the goodbye was not the best. What was your relationship with a deceased loved one? It makes a difference. Was there a chance to say "goodbye" and find peace with the person?... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC mourn,loved,goodbye,relationship,deceased,peace,forgive,forgiven,abuse,neglect,separation,person,honoring,good,qualities,faithfulness,healing http://pfl.org/article/thoughtswe-are-not-at-their-mercy Wed, 30 Oct 2013 16:55:10 +0000 A thought is often a simple thing. Here is one: My Sister is coming over today. This is straightforward and fact. Truth. For some, adding worries to the thought is a habit. In many cases, what we add to a simple thought creates misery; misery because... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC thoughts,truth,worries,thought,habit,negative,positive,misery,fears,responses,plan,invite,jesus,thinking,fact http://pfl.org/article/rejection-hurts Fri, 18 Oct 2013 19:23:00 +0000 Rejection hurts. It hurts physiologically (neurologically speaking) and it hurts our feelings. Reputable science confirms this. In fact our brains respond so similarly to rejection and physical pain that taking a Tylenol will reduce both the emotional... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC rejection,hurt,hurts,feelings,pain,love,accept,unconditionally,healing,acceptance,worth,physical,brain,emotional http://pfl.org/article/marriage-at-the-foot-of-the-cross Tue, 01 Oct 2013 17:15:34 +0000 Marriage is hard work. We need to keep in mind that the ground is level at the foot of the cross; none of us are better or worse than one another. October 2013, Volume 20, Issue 5 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW marriage,marriage difficulties,relationship,relationship help,improve marriage,improve relationship,god,god's help,plan for marriage,bible,image,self image,creation,created,man,husband,woman,wife,family,john http://pfl.org/article/weakness-and-strength Sun, 22 Sep 2013 16:41:39 +0000 All of us have weaknesses and vulnerabilities. Most of us have struggled hard with these limitations. We struggle to be rid of them; we struggle with the fact that they are in our lives (how unfair is that?) What if we were to accept the fact there... Dear Rosa Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC weakness,weaknesses,struggles,struggled,struggle,vulnerabilities,strength,power,work,gift,accept,paul http://pfl.org/article/trauma-and-the-body Wed, 18 Sep 2013 20:22:52 +0000 Normal physical stress responses to traumatic events: The symptoms of traumatic stress are not just emotional—they’re also physical. It’s important to know what the physical symptoms of stress look like, so they don’t scare you. They will go away... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC stress,trauma,anxiety,body,loss,grief,sorrow,emotions,reactions http://pfl.org/article/differences Wed, 11 Sep 2013 18:44:45 +0000 I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend. - Thomas Jefferson Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC difference,opinion,politics,religion,philosophy,withdrawing,friend http://pfl.org/article/10-beliefs-that-will-really-mess-you-up Tue, 03 Sep 2013 18:30:46 +0000 *She/he already knows how I feel *Who cares if anyone else suffers? I have rights too. *I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone. *If you want to get ahead, you have to step on a few toes. *What if I say the wrong thing? *Nice guys don’t win ball... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC beliefs,mess,suffer,feel,hurt,step,toes,win,feel,care,scared,right,monopolize,conversation http://pfl.org/article/not-going-there-again Thu, 22 Aug 2013 18:26:51 +0000 Have you ever looked back on a black hole you almost fell into but by the grace of God stepped back just in time to keep your sanity and well-being intact? It keeps us thankfully watchful to remember those times. It’s important though, to also remind... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC grace,god,sanity,remember,today,celebrate,goodness,faithful,presence,black hole http://pfl.org/article/suffering Thu, 15 Aug 2013 18:23:51 +0000 Suffering sorts out what we truly believe. (Inspired by Pastor Lee writing in Christianity Today 8/2013) Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC suffering,believe http://pfl.org/article/checklist-for-viewing-social-media Mon, 12 Aug 2013 18:20:07 +0000 Have you ever compared yourself to what you are seeing online? Sometimes people have a lapse of reality when looking at posts on social media. Your young people may be specially affected by what they are seeing. Realities and discussion points to... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC social media,facebook,postings,posts,compare,comparing,negative,positive,feelings,real,myths http://pfl.org/article/apology-rejected Thu, 25 Jul 2013 22:21:24 +0000 Have you ever suffered because you have become aware that some close person in your life has not forgiven you? When our actions or inactions have harmed another person, usually a close friend or relative, we may literally suffer if they do not forgive... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC apology,forgive,forgiven,retaliation,suffer,actions,friend,relative,suffering,rejection,harm,harmed http://pfl.org/article/transitions Wed, 24 Jul 2013 16:13:53 +0000 A new school year... Returning to school may not be so "carefree." August 2013, Volume 20, Issue 4 Linda Hillary M.S., NCC, LPC Linda Hillary M.S., NCC, LPC school,transition(s),back-to-school,fall,anxiety,stress,worry,fear,listening,compassion,communication,parenting,change,empathy,understanding http://pfl.org/article/the-courage-to-fail Thu, 18 Jul 2013 20:05:18 +0000 When we try to be better or “more” than other people, we probably are demonstrating a desire for self-elevation and prestige. This indicates that we believe we are only worthwhile if we “win” or are superior to others. Consider the courage it takes to... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC self-elevation,prestige,win,superior,courage,better,compare,mistakes,life,development http://pfl.org/article/we-become-what Sat, 29 Jun 2013 19:58:35 +0000 People wonder about mass shootings, murder, and sexual deviancy in our culture today. There is something called “cognitive rehearsal” that we as therapists use to help people change unwanted behavior. That is, if you want to change behavior, rehearse... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC violence,media,video games,murder,shootings,sexual deviancy,culture,behavior,change,pornography,heart,proverb http://pfl.org/article/remembering-the-future Thu, 20 Jun 2013 19:54:18 +0000 If you inherited a million dollars, what would you do with it? Imagining the future with lots of money can be fun. Some people spend a lot of time with thoughts like this. There is on-going research about the relationship between remembering the past... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC remember,remembering,past,future,thoughts,difficulty,depressed,trouble http://pfl.org/article/weighty-matters Wed, 12 Jun 2013 02:35:22 +0000 The article is an excerpt from Brenda's book entitled, "Loosening the Noose." It describes one of many false assumptions that exists in relationships clarifying what the task at hand really requires. Summer 2013, Volume 20, Issue 3 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC empathy,understanding,healthy relating,false assumptions,relationship conflict,boundaries in relationships,compassion,limits,respect,responsibility http://pfl.org/article/some-apologies-stink Thu, 06 Jun 2013 20:03:44 +0000 Taken from: Renee Garfinkle, Ph.D. Some non-apologies are worse than the "crime!" There’s the “I’m sorry you feel that way” which is a passive-aggressive way of saying, “up your nose with a rubber hose.” There are apologies that blame the... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC apology,sincere,apologizing,harm,difficult,humility,sorry http://pfl.org/article/perspective Sun, 02 Jun 2013 17:19:15 +0000 A teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found. Undaunted, she went outside and in a few minutes, returned with the lens in her hand. "How did... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC perspective,fruitless,search,looking http://pfl.org/article/been-through-something-huge Thu, 23 May 2013 17:10:39 +0000 A few days ago, a terrible tornado ripped through Moore, OK. Many children survived that event. If you or a child you know have been through a difficult divorce (and aren't they all in some ways), a surgery, a weather calamity or the like, you... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC trauma,terrible,event,child,adult,empathy,talk,traumatized,surrounded,limit,exposure,calamity http://pfl.org/article/satans-lie Tue, 14 May 2013 17:01:22 +0000 The fundamental deception of Satan is the lie that obedience can never bring happiness. By: R. C. Sproul Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC satan,lie,deception obedience,happiness http://pfl.org/article/beyond-words Thu, 02 May 2013 15:52:31 +0000 Most of us love words. We read. We chat with friends. We write on Facebook and in emails. Words are even in our heads bouncing around in conversations with ourselves and in potential conversations with others. Yet words do not carry us the way sight... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC beyond words,beyond,words,songs,god's greatness,god,connecting,communion,conversation http://pfl.org/article/compassion-makes-you-happy-and-wise Fri, 26 Apr 2013 16:01:36 +0000 Adapted from: Emma M. Seppala, Ph.D. A closer look at our own experiences as well as research data suggests that the secret to lasting happiness does not lie in any goods, relationships or achievements, but rather in what we can give: not just... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC compassion,wise,happy,relationships,charity,feeling blue,brain,pleasure,giving,money,gifts,love http://pfl.org/article/whats-your-name-again Wed, 24 Apr 2013 22:15:42 +0000 At the supermarket a woman with four boys and a baby made her way through her list...her patience was wearing thin as the boys called out, "Mommy! Mommy!" while she tried to shop. Finally, she blurted out, "I don't want to hear the... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC http://pfl.org/article/wired-for-connection Mon, 15 Apr 2013 18:36:48 +0000 Our brains and bodies are wired for connection. We secrete the hormone oxytocin when we connect. Parents and babies, husbands and wives, children and parents, friends...If it is a positive connection we destress with feelings of happiness. If we... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC brain,body,wired,hormones,connection,connect http://pfl.org/article/we-all-have-needs Thu, 04 Apr 2013 18:47:45 +0000 We all have basic needs to be valued, accepted, and understood. Think about a difficult person in your life, and, with God's help, perhaps identify the need that may be unsatisfied in them. Pray for the person and yourself. Remember that God... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC, Kathy Ann Ward, LPC, CSAC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC, Kathy Ann Ward, LPC, CSAC value,needs,accepted,understood,need,love,difficult person,god's help http://pfl.org/article/grant-us-peace Tue, 02 Apr 2013 04:18:08 +0000 Respond, not react. It is what we are encouraged to do in order to cope effectively with relationship conflict. The desire is to respond calmly, with a clear mind. Instead, there are those times we react in anger, followed by regret. This article... April 2013, Volume 20, Issue 2 Kathy Ann Ward, MA, LPC-T, CSAC Kathy Ann Ward, MA, LPC-T, CSAC relationships,stress,emotions,peace,self-awareness http://pfl.org/article/procrastination-because-of-anxiety Wed, 13 Mar 2013 19:28:06 +0000 There are anxiety-related causes (as well as other causes) of procrastination. Here is one way to understand the anxiety related cause, and one way to start overcoming it. You are overwhelmed resulting in putting things off. Example: you get... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC procrastination,anxiety,overwhelmed,worry,energy http://pfl.org/article/the-battle-is-not-ours Mon, 04 Mar 2013 18:35:29 +0000 Our true battle is not with who or what we see, but with the unseen powers and principalities who seek to tear down faith in the Lord. The enemy speaks lies to our minds but the truth of God dissolves deceptions. Go to Him who replaces comdemning and... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC battle,unseen,powers,principalities,enemy,lies,truth,god,army http://pfl.org/article/crumpled-and-stepped-on Sat, 23 Feb 2013 18:17:55 +0000 Crumpled and Stepped On (Copied from a post by Rita Scott, author unknown) A well-known speaker started off his seminar holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC crumpled,stepped on,value,circumstances,worthless,worth,priceless,love,god,special http://pfl.org/article/de-stress-now-hints-for-the-harried Fri, 08 Feb 2013 18:34:50 +0000 When you feel stressed out, do not try to overhaul your life; you barely have energy to juggle what’s before you. Put your favorite de-stressors to work right away; do not wait for the ‘right time.’ 1.) Plan your day with short ‘time outs’ in it... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC stress,stressed out,energy,juggle,harried,de-stress,prayer,stressful,hints http://pfl.org/article/investing-in-fruit Tue, 05 Feb 2013 18:33:43 +0000 All good works are good, but not all good works will last forever. The ultimate joy in life comes when we invest in things that will bear fruit both now and for eternity. Dear Rosa David Jeremiah David Jeremiah good works,good,works,eternity,joy,invest,fruit,bear fruit http://pfl.org/article/tears-in-my-ears-a-conversation-of-failure-and-honesty Thu, 31 Jan 2013 18:14:10 +0000 Failure and loss is hard. This article describes how to get through the difficult times after defeat. Spring 2013, Volume 20, Issue 1 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC loss,hurt,failure,tears,grief,grief process,life changes,success,questioning god,god’s way through,depression,anger,psalm 51,psalm for recovery,recovery http://pfl.org/article/connecting-on-facebook Wed, 30 Jan 2013 18:31:37 +0000 This is common sense I suppose; we now know that posting on Facebook causes people to feel less lonely. (Study by: Deters, F. G., & Mehl, M. R. 2012, in press). It's about connectedness. We all want to belong to someone, a family, a group, a... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC facebook,posting,social media,connect,positive,negative,belong,encourage,shame http://pfl.org/article/henri-nouwen Thu, 24 Jan 2013 18:29:27 +0000 The Catholic theologian Henri Nouwen wrote that; "...the minister is called to recognize the sufferings of his time in his own heart and make that recognition the starting point of his service. Whether he tries to enter into a dislocated world... Dear Rosa Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC suffering,heart,minister,service,wounded http://pfl.org/article/please-hear-what-i-am-saying Thu, 17 Jan 2013 19:53:54 +0000 Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the face I wear for I wear a mask, a thousand masks, masks that I'm afraid to take off, and none of them is me. Pretending is an art that's second nature with me, but don't... Dear Rosa listening,listen,mask,pretending,hide,afraid,fake http://pfl.org/article/promises-promises Thu, 22 Nov 2012 03:53:59 +0000 As many say and the rest of us believe, the holidays push our coping skills to the limit. Often the things that carry us through have nothing to do with gifts, meals, or concerts. Precious memories, promises fulfilled and God's sustaining... Christmas 2012 Volume 19, Issue 5 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC promises,comfort,compassion,assure,insure,affirm,secure,stress,healing,support,uphold,serve,holidays http://pfl.org/article/just-love-them Wed, 03 Oct 2012 04:46:10 +0000 Our children are not perfect, and neither are we. Sometimes their behavior may leave us scratching our heads or pulling our hair out, and sometimes our behavior may leave others scratching their heads or pulling their hair out. Through it all, God... October 2012, Volume 19, Issue 4 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW pranitha,pranitha timothy,god's love,love,plan,encouragement,purpose,slave,slavery,slaves,rescue,children,parenting,parenting advice,advice,hope,attitude,behavior,correction,discipline,discipline in http://pfl.org/article/helping-children-with-nightmares Fri, 29 Jun 2012 21:08:26 +0000 To children, nightmares are very real and they do not have the knowledge or experience to understand it was just a bad dream. This is a perfect time when parents can be very instrumental in helping their children. This article provides some helpful... Summer 2012, Volume 19, Issue 3 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW children,dreams,nighttime,night time,night mares,night terrors,stress,parenting,parenting tips,helpful hints,comfort,comforting,fear,fearful,distress,children in distress,compassion,compassionate,divorce,moving,family move http://pfl.org/article/transforming-emotions Fri, 29 Jun 2012 18:41:29 +0000 A good quality of life requires that we cope effectively with our reactions to our experiences. Others may mistreat us and awful things will happen. This article addresses how to react in a helpful way, a way that takes care of the situation, and... Summer 2012, Volume 19, Issue 3 Kathy Ann Ward, MA, LPC-T, CSAC Kathy Ann Ward, MA, LPC-T, CSAC managing emotions,self-care,stress management,emotional regulation http://pfl.org/article/once-and-for-all Fri, 29 Jun 2012 03:24:14 +0000 Brenda takes a well used expression "…once and for all!" and normalizes the frustration we all experience when confronted with the same issue over and over again. Correlating it with the journey of the Isrealites into the Promised Land, we... Summer 2012, Volume 19, Issue 3 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC healing,process,redemption,reconcile,mend,rebuild,regenerate,sooth,treat,revive,restore http://pfl.org/article/your-behavior-is-not-acceptable-but-you-i-love Fri, 29 Jun 2012 03:24:14 +0000 Separating the deed from the doer: It is tempting to label a child or adult by their behavior. Bad behavior is different from the human being God loves. This article discusses the ins and outs of separating the deed from the doer and how God does... Summer 2012, Volume 19, Issue 3 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC god’s love,behavior,correction,deed,doer,child,lying,reconciliation,trying again,consistency,misbehavior http://pfl.org/article/affected-family-members Wed, 18 Apr 2012 15:39:12 +0000 Families affected by a loved one’s chronic mental illness or addiction endure a unique type of stress. This article discusses two strategies, boundary setting and calming the nervous system, to help those who are both currently being affected, as well... Spring 2012 Volume 19, Issue 2 Kathy Ann Ward, MA, LPC-T, CSAC Kathy Ann Ward, MA, LPC-T, CSAC boundaries,stress,mental illness,porn addiction,substance addiction,affected family members,healing,support group http://pfl.org/article/the-golden-rule-for-cyberspace Wed, 18 Apr 2012 18:49:57 +0000 Most of our teens know how to work with technology but few realize how technology works. As parents and educators who love our teens, it is part of our job to educate them that what they post online can change the course of their lives. This article... Spring 2012 Volume 19, Issue 2 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW computers,computer use,online,internet safety,internet use,college,employers,work experience,stress,relationships,teens,teenager,parenting,parenting teens,college admission,cyberspace,educating,education,technology,technology use,golden rule http://pfl.org/article/if-we-always-encourage-kids-arent-we-raising-weaklings Wed, 18 Apr 2012 03:11:53 +0000 Describes how, when and why to encourage children. Some parents are concerned that too much self esteem can ruin a child. However, learning to help a discouraged child can only strengthen them. Strengthening the inner workings of your child is... Spring 2012 Volume 19, Issue 2 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC parenting,support,strength,encouragement,strengthen children,praise,undue support,parent fear,weakling,competition,inner workings of children http://pfl.org/article/building-confidence-and-values-in-children Wed, 18 Apr 2012 03:11:53 +0000 Parents struggle often between knowing how to build confidence in their children and at the same time guide the behaviors and attitudes impressed upon them by the culture of our day. This article describes several key important strategies that will... Spring 2012 Volume 19, Issue 2 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC confidence,self-esteem,values,belief system,strength,respect,self-respect,loving self,loving others http://pfl.org/article/overcoming-self-sabotaging-behaviors Mon, 02 Jan 2012 21:26:50 +0000 While we are all capable of self-sabotage, some individuals are more vulnerable to self-defeating behavior. It is possible to work through the tendency of self-defeating behavior. Half the battle is already won when individuals become aware of their... Winter 2012 Volume 19, Issue 1 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW anxiety,depression,self-sabotage,self-sabotaging behavior,behavior,self-destructive,self-destructive behavior,self-defeat,self-defeating,self-defeating http://pfl.org/article/how-to-talk-about-trauma-and-loss-with-children Sat, 31 Dec 2011 18:29:03 +0000 This article gives tips and insight for adults in explaining trauma and loss to children. Important points and understanding for both adult and child are given here. If you are a part of a child's life and you need encouragement for difficult... Winter 2012 Volume 19, Issue 1 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC loss,death,explaining loss,prepare to talk,explaining,shock,grief,telling children,loss for children,children http://pfl.org/article/trauma-caring-for-ourselves Fri, 30 Dec 2011 18:29:03 +0000 Each of us experiences situations and events that run the risk of leaving us traumatized. Traumatic events may not be completely avoidable. Yet if we find ourselves on the backside of a traumatic event there are some specific things we can implement... Winter 2012 Volume 19, Issue 1 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC trauma,loss,shock,denial,acute stress,numb,anxious,flashbacks,depression,anger,coping skills,self-care,healing http://pfl.org/article/peace-and-goodwill-towards-men Mon, 21 Nov 2011 00:18:46 +0000 Using scripture readings to keep, or find, the peace and joy in your interpersonal relationships over the holidays. Christmas 2011 Volume 18, Issue 5 Kathy Ann Ward, MA, LPC-T, CSAC Kathy Ann Ward, MA, LPC-T, CSAC holiday,relationships,harmony,conflict http://pfl.org/article/live-within-your-means Mon, 21 Nov 2011 00:18:46 +0000 Living within our means often is associated with our financial circumstances. In this article, Brenda outlines ideas that help us live within our means emotionally, physically, and spiritually this Christmas season. Nothing drains our joy quicker than... Christmas 2011 Volume 18, Issue 5 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC christmas,cost,holiday,season,fatigue,boundaries,giving,receiving,gifts,loneliness,family,celebrate http://pfl.org/article/december-hope-realized Mon, 21 Nov 2011 00:18:46 +0000 December brings on adult busy work, the joy of children, exhaustion, and a huge amount of hope. This article calls us to prize hope and God’s promise that we will not be abandoned by Him. With a heartfelt and poignant reference to “A Charlie Brown... Christmas 2011 Volume 18, Issue 5 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC christmas,work,hope,preparation,pursuit of life,december,christ child,christmas story,childhood,innocence,childlike hope http://pfl.org/article/controlling-the-chaos Mon, 21 Nov 2011 00:18:46 +0000 For stepfamilies, the stress of the holiday season can be compounded. With patience and grace, the holiday season can be enjoyable. In this article, tips for stepfamilies to navigate the holiday season are shared. Christmas 2011 Volume 18, Issue 5 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW stepfamily,stepfamilies,stepparents,stepchildren,steps,stress,depression,holidays,holiday season,tips,planning,organization,schedule,flexibility,resentment,anger,grace,gracious,graciousness,anxiety,bitterness,patience,christmas http://pfl.org/article/everyone-is-welcome Fri, 07 Oct 2011 17:25:59 +0000 Schools are working very hard to address the growing problem of bullying through teacher trainings, student education, role playing, parent meetings and having police liaisons. However, the problem has not only persisted but has become more severe... Fall 2011 Volume 18, Issue 4 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW bullying,school,school issues,school problems,fear,anxiety,social,socialization,socialization issues,friends,communicate,confrontation,cliques,help,guidance,guidance for teachers,teachers,parents,parenting,parenting help,friendships,fitting in,trying to http://pfl.org/article/dont-argue-with-a-woman-as-you-would-with-a-man Thu, 29 Sep 2011 17:25:59 +0000 Six things to avoid when arguing with a woman. A valuable resource in how to negotiate the maze of arguing; especially with a woman. Because some things work better than others when arguing, these points will bring you success in walking out... Fall 2011 Volume 18, Issue 4 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC disagreement,couples,emotion,complain,complaints,woman,response,feelings,response,communication,gender specific,language,why questions,win,lose,loser,contempt http://pfl.org/article/men-and-women-of-wisdom Thu, 29 Sep 2011 17:25:59 +0000 Becoming wise is not an easy journey yet a goal greatly desired by many. Based on Ephesians 4 and 5, Brenda outlines the foundation of wisdom and respect in relationships. The article challenges each of us to understand and act according to the goals... Fall 2011 Volume 18, Issue 4 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC wisdom,respect,value,esteem,revere,admire,appreciate,show consideration,regard,recognize,accept,submit,submission http://pfl.org/article/lifes-seasons Thu, 29 Sep 2011 17:25:59 +0000 This article recognizes the difficulties that come with life's many transitions, and offers time tested coping strategies. Fall 2011 Volume 18, Issue 4 Kathy Ann Ward, MA, LPC-T, CSAC Kathy Ann Ward, MA, LPC-T, CSAC transitions,change,acceptance,identity,grief http://pfl.org/article/10-tips-for-solving-problems Mon, 29 Aug 2011 16:58:22 +0000 Listed are ten simple yet challenging factors to remember when attempting to bring a difficult conversation to a calmer level. Both parties, working in this manner, may be able to move towards increased understanding of one another and look for ways... Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC conflict,disagreement,resolution,respect,conversations,sarcasm,eye contact,resistance,solutions http://pfl.org/article/suggestions-for-clarity-in-relationships Mon, 29 Aug 2011 16:56:52 +0000 This handout provides a list of specific response one can use when behavior in relationship becomes intrusive or offensive. Author Unknown, Edited by Brenda Spina, M.S.,LMFT, LPC Author Unknown, Edited by Brenda Spina, M.S.,LMFT, LPC boundaries,shame,relationships,missing,abandonment,giving,receiving,suffering,trust,vulnerable,disagree,agree,personal contract,recovery,relationship health,feelings,reality,perception,practical,struggles,living,abusive behaviors,mental health,personal http://pfl.org/article/serve-your-generation Mon, 29 Aug 2011 16:46:29 +0000 Meeting the challenge of any new year keeps us mindful of how we have opportunity to be all that God would have us be. A personal look into the life of one serving in the face of loss is described beautifully and challenges us to look at those around... Winter 2008 Volume 15, Issue 1 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC death of a loved one,grief,loss,recovery,healing,serving,compassion,mercy http://pfl.org/article/mocking-in-families Wed, 17 Aug 2011 18:48:02 +0000 A "Dear Rosa" question and answer regarding the shamed based communication and its impact on family members. Dear Rosa dear rosa,mocking,shaming communication,tearing down http://pfl.org/article/scared-of-my-daughters-friends Wed, 10 Aug 2011 13:00:10 +0000 A "Dear Rosa" question and answer regarding parenting concerns when a adolescent daughter connects with friends that seem unhealthy for her. Dear Rosa adolescents,daughter,friends of your children,boundaries,reconnecting with children,poor choices http://pfl.org/article/stand-up-for-yourself-without-putting-others-down Mon, 01 Aug 2011 00:31:40 +0000 Two vignettes demonstrating how to stand up for yourself without putting others down Fall 2007 Volume 14, Issue 3 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW conflict resolution http://pfl.org/article/changing-our-hearts-by-changing-our-minds Fri, 29 Jul 2011 16:13:49 +0000 We can take the pressure off others to change by focusing on our own issues, because the only person we can really change is ourselves. skills,relationships,change,self,conflict,behavior http://pfl.org/article/appreciate-appreciate Tue, 12 Jul 2011 12:58:00 +0000 Appreciation and admiration are foundational in the development of attachment in any significant relationship. Using this little exercise is a fun way to increase your bond with those you love and encourage others to do the same. Summer 2011 Volume 18, Issue 3 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC appreciation,admiration,fondness,commitment,attachment,relating,bond,loving,encourage http://pfl.org/article/bullying-in-preschool-yes-preschool Fri, 08 Jul 2011 12:45:50 +0000 Bullying is not just a problem for the older child. Preschoolers also experience bullying both as the victim and the perpetrator of it. This article describes how to recognize bullying and its consequences in preschoolers including what to do... Summer 2011 Volume 18, Issue 3 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC bullying,bully,preschool,rejection,hitting,pinching,> kicking,isolation,discomfort,enjoying hurt,laughing,taunting,helpless,ridicule,enjoying discomfort of another,group taunting,mean kids http://pfl.org/article/the-excitement-and-challenge-of-beginning-school Fri, 08 Jul 2011 16:12:24 +0000 Beginning school can be exciting and challenging for children and parents alike. In this article, Christine Vander Wielen provides parents with helpful guidelines to,, make the transition smoother for themselves and their children. Summer 2011 Volume 18, Issue 3 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW school,fear of school,school phobia,fear,stress,parents,parental help,help for parents,anxiety,depression,reluctance,starting school,beginning school,challenges,separation,separation anxiety,children,child,helpful,help child,confidence http://pfl.org/article/twelve-years-ten-lessons Tue, 28 Jun 2011 00:28:39 +0000 An article of tribute and thanksgiving. As Mary Lambrecht follows God's call to Texas, she shares ten basic lessons learned in the therapy room and in ministry through The Center for Family Healing and Practical Family Living. Summer 2011 Volume 18, Issue 3 Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT transition,lessons,therapy,parenting,nurture,anxiety,relationships,discouragement,validation http://pfl.org/article/preparing-for-the-school-year Tue, 28 Jun 2011 21:54:46 +0000 Families enjoy the change summer schedules bring. It seems families adjust to the summer schedule then quickly find themselves facing a transition into a new school year. Implementing simple steps help manage this transition with greater ease. This... Summer 2011 Volume 18, Issue 3 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC school,transition,child,children,class,teacher,change,shift,preparation,train,educate,teach,switch,move,homework,coach,educator,tutor,handle,run,cope,supervise,direct http://pfl.org/article/if-you-had-been-here Wed, 22 Jun 2011 13:24:37 +0000 A lively imaginary interaction of the biblical account of the encounter between Mary, Martha and Jesus just before Lazareth is raised from the dead. Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC believe,belief,overcoming,resurrection,life,i am,jesus is god,truth,life,death,dead alive,living,choice,accept,reject http://pfl.org/article/helpful-guidelines-for-resolving-conflict Wed, 15 Jun 2011 12:53:14 +0000 Conflict is normal and full of potential if we manage it skillfully Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW conflict resolution,boundaries,communication,family http://pfl.org/article/family-relationships-its-not-about-winning-and-losing Tue, 07 Jun 2011 15:02:37 +0000 What family relationships are not about Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW family roles,power struggle,boundaries,conflict,marriage,parenting http://pfl.org/article/a-parents-guide-to-minimizing-sibling-rivalry Tue, 31 May 2011 14:12:47 +0000 Although sibling rivalry exists in virtually every family, parents can be proactive in helping to minimize sibling rivalry and helping children develop positive life long relationships with their siblings. Spring 2008 Volume 15, Issue 2 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW boundaries,relationships,conflict,siblings http://pfl.org/article/behaviors-that-inhibit-clarity-in-relationships Tue, 24 May 2011 17:14:09 +0000 Behaviors and thoughts that inhibit relationships Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC boundaries,relationships http://pfl.org/article/fear-less-love-more-to-let-go-is-to-love Wed, 18 May 2011 12:12:38 +0000 The positives of letting go and giving over love,boundaries http://pfl.org/article/check-list-how-am-i-doing Mon, 09 May 2011 13:50:47 +0000 Questions to ask yourself to find out how you are doing anxiety,fear http://pfl.org/article/personal-purity Mon, 02 May 2011 13:45:49 +0000 There are benefits to personal purity beyond what we can fully take in as the world is seeming to celebrate impurity. The many faces of sexual impurity is reviewed here. The harmful effects of sexual sin including entertaining impure thoughts are... Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC sexual acting out,using people,purity,honesty,renew,character,sexual jokes,boundaries,sin,crazy maker,personal purity,manipulation,pure,temptation,fear,worry,power http://pfl.org/article/detours-in-relationships Tue, 26 Apr 2011 16:23:43 +0000 There are ways of thinking and acting that seem right only to discover they have detoured us off the path of right relating. God has it in his plan for us to become aware and work towards resolution those patterns that keep us from relating to others... Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC addiction,loss,conflict,family,marriage,singleness,friendship,divorce,affairs http://pfl.org/article/easter-clothes-throwing-off-cloaks-of-unforgiveness Mon, 18 Apr 2011 14:23:23 +0000 Forgiveness brings emotional and spiritual healing. Using Biblical references to Palm Sunday and Easter, and a story from Corrie Ten Boom, this article shows how the old "clothes" or habits around unforgiveness hamper our freedom and joy. Spring 2007 Volume 14, Issue 1 Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT easter,palm sunday,conflict,forgiveness,unforgiveness,emotional healing,habits,freedom,joy,hurt,pain,enemies,sinners,sin,bitterness,resentment,love,comfort,anger,hatred,offense,obsessive thoughts,corrie ten boom,jews,german concentration http://pfl.org/article/encouraging-the-growth-mindset-in-children Mon, 04 Apr 2011 17:12:51 +0000 Parents naturally want the best for their children and can be instrumental in helping their children become resilient to challenges. This article informs parents on recent research and ways they can encourage their children to have a growth mindset. Spring 2011 Volume 18, Issue 2 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW study,education,praise,encouragement,parenting,children,albert einstein,thomas edison,adolescents,family,relationships,challenges,anger,conflict,help children,resilient,resiliency,encourage,encourage children,research,studies http://pfl.org/article/picture-perfect-how-god-sees-our-troubles Mon, 04 Apr 2011 12:11:29 +0000 Even Jesus' disciples struggled to picture certain promises that Jesus reassured them of. This article will outline scriptural truths in getting beyond our circumstances, to trusting and believing in His peace and His path for our lives. Spring 2011 Volume 18, Issue 2 Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT comfort,grief,loss,reassurance,direction,discernment,decision-making,trouble,salvation,eternal life,truth,belief,faith,blindness,disability,peace,john 14,hebrews 11,disciples. http://pfl.org/article/paying-attention Mon, 04 Apr 2011 17:04:48 +0000 One of the foundational skills to the success of any relationship is our ability to listen. As simple as this may sound, many do not listen well. True hearing begins with our heart and includes our ears. Brenda outlines what thinking with our heart... Spring 2011 Volume 18, Issue 2 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC attention,listen,hear,hearing,heart,ears,paying attention,understanding,meaning,attend,head,follow,observe,consider,learn,note,regard http://pfl.org/article/can-this-marriage-be-saved Mon, 04 Apr 2011 13:49:41 +0000 Marriage skills must be worked at. The skills needed to succeed at marriage are often not learned by watching close loved ones. How on earth are people going to learn the skill set needed in marriage? Many simply learn by trial and error. Half of... Spring 2011 Volume 18, Issue 2 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC marriage,interpersonal skills,relationship,conflict resolution,therapy,counseling,skills in marriage,success in marriage,couples,couple,couple counseling,couples therapy,center for family healing,therapist http://pfl.org/article/facebook-teens-and-depression Mon, 04 Apr 2011 16:01:40 +0000 Some teens look to Facebook and other social media to determine their self worth. They do this by comparing their numbers of friends, pictures, and entries on the site with others. The term for the downward spiral of self worth this inspires in some... Spring 2011 Volume 18, Issue 2 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC facebook,friends,worth,depression,young people,youth groups,family,obsessive,healthy thinking,comparison,comparing,feeding healthy thinking,healthy thinking,inner worth,good friends http://pfl.org/article/how-to-stop-bullying Tue, 29 Mar 2011 14:05:53 +0000 Helpful suggestions and step by step plan to end bullying Summer 2007 Volume 14, Issue 2 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW parenting,children,adolescents,stress,anxiety,depression,anger,bullying,school problems,communication,boundaries http://pfl.org/article/self-sabatoge-and-secret-affections Tue, 22 Mar 2011 18:30:15 +0000 In the recovery process, a new kind of honesty is needed to become all that God would have. This article takes a look at one way in which honesty can be helpful in the healing of our ability to relate as God would have us to. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC recovery,self-sabotage,affections,honesty,relationships http://pfl.org/article/know-god Thu, 17 Mar 2011 18:27:28 +0000 Trying to get a grasp on what it means to have a relationship with God. God desires to and pursues each of us to this end. This article includes a thorough outline of what it means to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC knowing god,know god,intimacy with god,inviting jesus in,salvation,personal relationship with god http://pfl.org/article/a-story-of-getting-honest Mon, 07 Mar 2011 14:02:30 +0000 Being honest with yourself is the first step and straightest line to mental and spiritual health. This is a story about someone struggling with what the “supposed to” form of living produces, and applies to anyone who hides difficult feelings... Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC honest feelings,honesty,sharing feelings,discouragement,displaced anger,blame,anger,sadness,grieving,disappointment,recovery,going through,meaningful,sharing http://pfl.org/article/moving-from-shame-to-respect Mon, 28 Feb 2011 13:00:20 +0000 Moving away from a sense of shame to self respect is very important to our mental and even physical health. Shame means to operate out of a "down deep" sense of not being good enough or that something is very wrong with us. This article... Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC boundaries,shame,relationships,missing,abandonment,giving,receiving,suffering,trust,vulnerable,disagree,agree,personal contract,recovery,relationship health,feelings,reality,perception,practical,struggles,living,abusive behaviors,mental health,personal http://pfl.org/article/because-god-loves-me-1-corinthians-134-8 Mon, 14 Feb 2011 15:58:45 +0000 God's love made personal love,depression,healing http://pfl.org/article/secondary-stress Mon, 07 Feb 2011 16:01:13 +0000 Stress does not only affect the person directly in the line of the stressor but also affects those in proximity. This article identifies what secondary stress is and what to do about it. Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC release of stress,stress chemicals,stressers,tics,challenges to the body,walking,venting,police officer,listening to problems,praying,prayer during stress http://pfl.org/article/emotional-healing-for-adults-through-the-inner-child Mon, 31 Jan 2011 16:12:33 +0000 Christ's example of love and attention to children can be a model for adults to reconnect with childhood experiences to restore simple joys, spontaneity, and hope. Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT anxiety,grief and loss,memories,children,adults,adult children,simplicity,hope,happiness,comfort,nurturance,love http://pfl.org/article/clearly-wrong-bad-behavior-and-what-to-do-about-it Thu, 27 Jan 2011 17:06:03 +0000 How do we reside in the place of love when we fail in our behavior with others. There are times when each of us engages in bad behavior: Behavior we do not find acceptable to God or ourselves. What do we do when we are wrong in our behavior? This... Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC mental health,love chapter,1 corinthians 13,holy spirit,admit,loved by god,forgiveness,decision to love,discouragement,bad mood,anger,depression,confession,admitting wrong http://pfl.org/article/the-talk Wed, 19 Jan 2011 16:00:09 +0000 The mere thought of having "the talk" about sexuality with their children often makes parents shudder and want to head for the hills. Parents take heart. This article encourages parents as it provides a step by step nonthreatening approach... Winter 2011 Volume 18, Issue 1 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW sex,sexuality,parenting,safety,safety training,teaching safety,infomation,parenting skills,children,relationships,age,stage,ages and stages,abstinenace,marriage,husband,wife,boundaries,guidelines,values,teaching,date,dating http://pfl.org/article/sacredness-in-sexuality Tue, 18 Jan 2011 15:56:30 +0000 Sexuality can be a profound expression of love between a husband and wife. When God's view of love is included within sexuality, sex is transformed from mere mechanics to holy mystery and higher joy. Winter 2011 Volume 18, Issue 1 Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT sexuality,sex,sacred,transposition,c.s. lewis,god's love,love,mystery,rob bell,husband,wife,jewish culture,chuppah,wedding,protection,holiness,church,society,marriage http://pfl.org/article/myths-about-sexual-abuse Tue, 18 Jan 2011 16:11:21 +0000 As familiar as we may all think we are with the existence and impact of sexual abuse, there is nothing that diminishes the shock and ensuring emotional upheaval that follows. In coping with an incident of sexual abuse, families often begin believing... Winter 2011 Volume 18, Issue 1 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC sexuality,sexual abuse,incest,molestation,sexual violence,sexual assault,grief,shock,helplessness,child sexual abuse,myths around abuse,neglect http://pfl.org/article/pick-your-battles-peer-and-parent-pressure Tue, 18 Jan 2011 17:04:42 +0000 Peer pressure is real, and parents receive few tips on how to manage themselves and their children in the peer pressure, parent pressure arguments. Just what does a parent do when lines are crossed under peer pressure? This article has some very good... Winter 2011 Volume 18, Issue 1 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC words: communication,stealing,alcohol,drug use,listening,counterproductive,fighting,constantly fighting,criticizing,modesty,peers,peer pressure,struggles,strength,shutting the door on communication,struggles,respect http://pfl.org/article/acute-stress Wed, 12 Jan 2011 16:03:32 +0000 Acute stress is the initial concentrated exposure to a traumatic event or events. Acute stressors might be a war, being robbed, experiencing excessive cruelty, a natural disaster, viewing human mutilation, etc. What happens to our bodies in acute... Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC trauma,wholeness,acute trauma,suffering,debilitating shock,excessive demands,overwhelmed,depression,debriefing,healing process,stabilization,process of healing,severe depression,anger,hurt,mood swings,anxiety,loss of interest,change in eating habits. http://pfl.org/article/guidelines-for-help-when-you-feel-vulnerable-or-lost Mon, 03 Jan 2011 18:23:13 +0000 Sometimes there is a straight-forward need for some written steps to take when feeling depressed, anxious, crummy, full of discouragement, or when listening to lies in thinking about God's ability to redeem a seemingly failed life. Here are those... Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC vulnerable,lost,lonely,discouraged,down,damaged,god's faithfulness,real,broken heart,messed up,tired of trying,cleansing,healing,good touch,beautiful music,hope,eternal love,love,truth,need a break,little by little http://pfl.org/article/fruit-of-the-spirit-tips-to-increase-your-daily-servings Mon, 20 Dec 2010 13:14:45 +0000 Tips on how to incorporate the fruits of the spirit into your daily life to keep you (and your loved ones) healthy and happy. mental health,stress,ideas,spirit,resolutions,actions,tips,guidelines,patience,joy http://pfl.org/article/christmas-inspirations Wed, 15 Dec 2010 14:25:01 +0000 What do the Bethlehem manger and a brother dying of AIDS have in common? Article depicts how life-giving responses in difficult circumstances can bring hope and encouragement. Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT christmas,ministry,sickness,disease,death,aids,hiv,anxiety,encouragement,hope,difficult circumstances,singles,homosexuality,grief and loss,bereavement,adult children,creativity,talents,gifts,jesus' birth,protection,overprotection,comfort http://pfl.org/article/surprise-surprise-not-everyone-likes-their-family-christmas Thu, 09 Dec 2010 18:29:07 +0000 Family gatherings are not always pleasant. We may not even like our family. What is the difference between like and love? This article tells how to separate behavior from the person or the family we are to love. We can not like or even accept... Christmas 2010 Volume 17, Issue 5 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC family gatherings,family,frazzle,fighting,hate the holidays; separate deed from doer,unacceptable behavior,love one another,god's help with family,holidays,parents,relationship,relationships,like,love,difference between like and love,children http://pfl.org/article/helping-ourselves-through-the-holidays Thu, 09 Dec 2010 17:44:17 +0000 Holidays challenge us on every level: emotionally with the memories of family or stressors of getting together, physically because there seem to be so many more activities and details to attend to, spiritually we are stretched thin between honoring... Christmas 2010 Volume 17, Issue 5 holidays,christmas,celebration,birthdays,stress,self-care,boundaries,loss,grief,depression,anxiety,fatigue http://pfl.org/article/coping-with-holiday-grief- Wed, 08 Dec 2010 17:37:04 +0000 There is no time of year more difficult than the holidays when a loved one has died. Nothing feels the same nor will it feel the same again. Listed here are only a few helps that may make the holidays a bit more tolerable. Christmas 2010 Volume 17, Issue 5 Compiled by Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Compiled by Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC holidays,christmas,celebration,birthdays,stress,self-care,boundaries,depression,grief,fatigue http://pfl.org/article/yard-sale-angels Tue, 30 Nov 2010 14:23:39 +0000 Jesus calls people of all ages to Himself. The wonderment of His birth is not only meant for small children. Big people too are blessed to be able to respond to the joy AND to the romance of God calling us to Himself. Pray that our loved ones of every... Christmas 2010 Volume 17, Issue 5 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC child,music,jesus,angels,impact,powerful images,images,family time,siblings,family ritual,ritual,romance,wooing,god's wooing,god wooing us,god draws us,thy kingdom come,thy will be done http://pfl.org/article/morning-star-all-through-the-night Mon, 29 Nov 2010 16:01:53 +0000 Poetry and scripture are inter-weaved in this article to proclaim one of the greatest Christmas truths: Jesus, the Bright Morning Star, knew earthly sorrow, so that we can have hope on earth and ultimate hope in heaven. Christmas 2010 Volume 17, Issue 5 Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT god's power,comfort,trouble,light,darkness,suffering,jesus,herod,star,bethlehem,worship,manger,sorrow,heaven,purpose,trials,wisdom,understanding,counsel,strength,love,night,angel,eternal http://pfl.org/article/gods-christmas-list Mon, 29 Nov 2010 18:22:16 +0000 If we find ourselves overwhelmed, anxious, lonely or fearful during this Christmas season, we can take heart and reflect on God’s love. God has made all the necessary preparations for Christmas. Christmas 2010 Volume 17, Issue 5 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW god,love,salvation,redemption,stress,anxiety,anxious,depression,fear,christmas,christmas season,season,jesus,rest,comfort,healing,touch,expectations,life,eternal life,mother,celebration,heavenly father,overwhelm,god's love http://pfl.org/article/the-ornament-of-grace- Mon, 29 Nov 2010 13:13:22 +0000 As the Christmas season rolls around we often are confronted with re-evaluating how the year has been for our families and our loved ones. It is easy to become filled with such busyness that we forget one of the many reasons why Christ came. He came... Christmas 2010 Volume 17, Issue 5 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC grace,ornament,transformation,growth,conversion,sound judgment,wisdom,discretion,understanding,sanctification,change in http://pfl.org/article/just-right-a-christmas-memory Mon, 22 Nov 2010 16:24:59 +0000 A story of a family tradition to warm your heart and a reminder that family traditions help build memories that last a lifetime. family,memories,christmas,traditions http://pfl.org/article/changing-our-christmas-perspectives Tue, 16 Nov 2010 20:36:10 +0000 Article uses an analogy from the Old Testament to teach how Christmas can be an opportunity to turn from fear and sin, to the joy, holiness, and wonder of Christ. Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT sin,fear,eternity,forgiveness,reconciliation,freedom,belonging,god's love,redemption,sacrifice,recovery,christmas http://pfl.org/article/one-of-the-worst-things-parents-do-putting-the-marriage-last Tue, 09 Nov 2010 22:09:23 +0000 This article explores the drawbacks of "putting the marriage last" in the list of family priorities. Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC marriage,oneness,child-centered,neglect,abuse,burdens,date,counseling http://pfl.org/article/recognizing-the-treasure-within-you Mon, 01 Nov 2010 17:01:11 +0000 This article provides insight on helping to see God's love for each one of us and gives tools for seeing ourselves in a different way. Summer 2007 Volume 14, Issue 2 god's love,self-esteem,self-worth,perspective - self - love http://pfl.org/article/characteristics-of-a-healthy-family Mon, 25 Oct 2010 18:10:53 +0000 Helpful guides to creating a healthy family Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW boundaries,bond,communication,conflict,forgiveness,service,family relationships http://pfl.org/article/twenty-something- Thu, 07 Oct 2010 16:59:47 +0000 The twenties can be described as a time of great transitions. In this article, Christine outlines common struggles of young adults and provides helpful suggestions for parents and loved ones. Fall 2010 Volume 17, Issue 4 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW young adult,twenty year olds,growth,development,anxiety,depression,transition,family,family relationships,adolescents,independent,change,fear,peers,peer relationships,stress,financial stress http://pfl.org/article/launching-adolescents-a-family-affair Thu, 07 Oct 2010 00:03:53 +0000 Launching Adolescents describes some of the difficulties young adults face as they plan to launch from their homes into the world. Fall 2010 Volume 17, Issue 4 Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC adolescents,launch,families,failure,pressures,participate,friendships,leaving,home,secret,fears,maturity,brain,development,issues,health,shame,blame,professional,help,readiness http://pfl.org/article/two-sides-of-pity Mon, 04 Oct 2010 18:22:06 +0000 This article describes the debilitating effects of secular pity and describes the difference between God's pity and the world's. Spring 2007 Volume 14, Issue 1 Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC pity,weakness,victimization,truth,power,saint,hurting http://pfl.org/article/hellos-and-goodbyes Thu, 30 Sep 2010 16:30:36 +0000 Helpful thoughts for parents, young people, and families for a child's movement into adulthood. Transition from youth to adult is said by Jay Haley and others, to be the most challenging in the human life cycle. Encouragement and ideas for this... Fall 2010 Volume 17, Issue 4 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC adult,child,becoming an adult,goodbye to childhood,hello to the young adult,transition,family life cycle,change,family change,growing up,letting go,launching your child,preparing to launch children http://pfl.org/article/no-longer-little-key-concerns-of-young-adults Mon, 27 Sep 2010 18:09:50 +0000 Young adults face many transitions and many fears. This article explores three key concerns that young adults often keep hidden from their parents. Included are helpful parental responses to support parents in this season of their son or daughter’s... Fall 2010 Volume 17, Issue 4 Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT young adult,transition,change,independent,approval,acceptance,accomplishments,self-confidence,insecurity,beautiful,respect,grace,guidance,choices,dreams,goals,choices,worth,dignity,boundaries,teenagers,comparisons http://pfl.org/article/coming-along-side-the-20-somethings Mon, 27 Sep 2010 16:53:32 +0000 Young adults look so adult yet, as we all know, looks can be deceiving. This special group of people need more support than we can imagine. The energy and enthusiasm can mask the fears and challenges they face. Author and therapist, Brenda Spina takes... Fall 2010 Volume 17, Issue 4 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC young adults,self-esteem,parenting adult children,parenting,friendship,supportive,college age children,anxiety,stress,family,launching http://pfl.org/article/why-does-god-use-hardship Tue, 21 Sep 2010 20:08:05 +0000 Hardship is hard. Why does God allow it? As the Potter shapes clay, over and over again, we too are shaped. Often this shaping is a process with several steps. What are these steps and why do they hurt? Sometimes it is for our strengthening and... Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC hurt,health,shape,shaping,shaped,touch,clay,potter,purpose,life,hardship,hardened,water,washing,flattened. god's way,full,filled,fine tuning,furnace,fire,process,beauty,joyful,walking,trust http://pfl.org/article/marital-disloyalty Wed, 15 Sep 2010 15:33:23 +0000 This article addresses the process of how marital disloyalty begins or continues. Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC disloyalty,loneliness,boredom,resentment,anger,bitterness,detached,fog,nurture,attachment,choices http://pfl.org/article/gratitude-its-own-memory-chain Mon, 06 Sep 2010 22:07:48 +0000 Memories triggered at times of yearly occasions are not always pleasant. How do you deal with triggered memories? Can we move from reacting to certain memories to providing ourselves with a plan? See ways people are able to set in motion a positive... Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC honesty,vision,change,remembering,memories,christmas,celebrations,yearly,love,connecting,touch,death,sad,proactive,gratitude,thankfulness,happy,victory,jesus,spontaneous,wounds,healing http://pfl.org/article/children-of-divorce-between-two-worlds Mon, 30 Aug 2010 14:21:39 +0000 Children walk through the high pain and intense feelings around divorce but they do not have the same ability to recover from the process of their parents' divorce. Research shows that parents seem to take about three years to recover from... Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC divorce,children of divorce,divorcing couple,resilience,hurt,pain,healing,impact of divorce,long term consequences http://pfl.org/article/finding-hope-in-the-dark-periods-of-life Wed, 25 Aug 2010 19:48:05 +0000 This article looks at springtime as a metaphor for hope in the midst of dark periods of life and presents scripture as encouragement. Summer 2007 Volume 14, Issue 2 Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC springtime,new,dead,risen,desert,streams,garden,weary,reap,hope http://pfl.org/article/grieving-as-an-act-of-reconciliation Mon, 16 Aug 2010 15:12:32 +0000 This article addresses grieving in light of a process of reconciliation instead of a one action decision of acceptance. Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC grief,loss,reconciliation,reverence,mourning http://pfl.org/article/for-shame-for-shame-how-to-end-shaming-when-disciplining Tue, 10 Aug 2010 12:47:10 +0000 The power and influence of parents is great; keeping the parent-child relationship in its proper place Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW parenting,family,anxiety,depression,anger,conflict,self esteem,discipline,role,boundaries http://pfl.org/article/addictions-many-forms-but-never-satisfying Thu, 05 Aug 2010 16:03:46 +0000 Addictions cannot satisfy our needs but only serve to destroy joy and peace. God desires more for us! Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW anxiety,addiction,healing,depression http://pfl.org/article/stress-management-young-children-can-teach-us-well Mon, 26 Jul 2010 00:36:51 +0000 Stress management via lessons learned from young children Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW stress,boundaries,thankfulness,forgiveness,healing http://pfl.org/article/finding-balance Tue, 20 Jul 2010 16:10:51 +0000 Finding balance in life through focusing on the Lord Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW healing,restoration,faithful,forgiveness http://pfl.org/article/attachment-wounds-ten-steps-that-heal Thu, 15 Jul 2010 14:27:08 +0000 Childhood story illustrating bonding and attachment wounds and ten steps for healing Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT attachment,bonding,healing,trauma,grief and loss,bereavement,family,feelings,emotions,connection,comfort http://pfl.org/article/adolescent-girls-battling-eating-disorders Thu, 08 Jul 2010 15:11:29 +0000 This article explores the effects of adolescent female eating disorders on the individual and the family. It also gives options for getting help. Summer 2010 Volume 17, Issue 3 Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC http://pfl.org/article/moms-to-do-list Wed, 07 Jul 2010 15:05:26 +0000 Moms are good at taking care of their loved ones but often do not take time for themselves. This article offers encouragement to moms to care for their needs and discusses ways moms can be proactive by nurturing their minds, bodies and spirits. Summer 2010 Volume 17, Issue 3 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW moms,parenting,anger,depression,anxiety,bitterness,health,mind,body,spirit,encourage,forgive,forgiveness,family,relationships,household,husband,wife,connection,connect,bless,blessings http://pfl.org/article/emotional-reserve-and-family-events Mon, 05 Jul 2010 16:35:00 +0000 When our personal energy is drained, we are like an empty water jar. Family events and personal challenges will empty our reserves. We must find a way to replenish ourselves. This article gives specific refreshers for the days when we are overwhelmed. Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC family stress,emotional reserve,stress,firm,kind,prayer,overwhelmed,giving,exhausted,emotional,imperfect,drained,starting over,courage,beginning again http://pfl.org/article/honor-widows Tue, 29 Jun 2010 12:45:57 +0000 Widowhood is one of those transitions that is easily dismissed and greatly misunderstood. As someone who watched her mother work through the varied tasks of this transition, the lack of availability in those around her for her situation was striking... Summer 2010 Volume 17, Issue 3 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC going forward,moving on,coping with loss,weeping,companionship,confidence,friendship,religion,compassion,loss of a spouse,grief,tasks of life,modify,adjustment,death of a loved one,loss,transition,widowhood,widow http://pfl.org/article/hurried-and-harried-women Tue, 29 Jun 2010 18:15:03 +0000 Does time manage us or do we manage time? God has ways for us to restore and refresh; yet we often ignore that 15 per cent of our time that God has for us to do just that. Does God know what's best for us? Yes. This is an article we all need... Summer 2010 Volume 17, Issue 3 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC physical rest,mental,spiritual,restore,refresh,god,tired,exhaustion,time saving,time,busy,woman,women,schedule,time saving devices,electronic devices,task,multi-tasking,sabbath,stress http://pfl.org/article/women-grief-and-jesus Tue, 29 Jun 2010 11:01:05 +0000 Women experiencing grief and loss can also know deep comfort, individual attention, and a life-giving future through the Lord Jesus Christ. Christ’s loving attention to a mother who lost her only son from the gospel of Luke, is explored in this article. Summer 2010 Volume 17, Issue 3 Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT women,grief,loss,widow,death,sorrow,comfort,hope,compassion,pain,lazarus,purpose,restoration,life http://pfl.org/article/marriage-relationships-strengthening-the-bond-thru-gods-love Tue, 22 Jun 2010 14:34:00 +0000 A couple's journey from blaming each other to helping each other Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW family roles,marriage,stress,depression,healing,faith http://pfl.org/article/transitions-and-change-a-tribute-to-mr-fred-rogers Mon, 07 Jun 2010 19:24:34 +0000 Changes in life can bring grief, stress, and a longing for the past. Article uses lessons learned from The Mister Rogers Show to show ways to lessen the trauma around transition. Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT anxiety,children,adolescents,family,depression,grief and loss,loneliness,adjustment,life-cycle stages,stability,peace,change,transition,moving,trauma http://pfl.org/article/gods-peace-in-the-midst-of-a-crisis Tue, 01 Jun 2010 00:38:10 +0000 Moving account of a young woman who experiences the peace of God in the midst of a personal crisis Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW stress,peace,healing,faith,health,anxiety,anger,fear http://pfl.org/article/traveling-the-road Tue, 25 May 2010 21:27:48 +0000 Each individual has a unique road to follow. This roadway is sometimes foggy to us. If we have gone along the path of trusting God many times, are we likely to continue when our eyes are blocked from what is ahead? See a personal example of a foggy... Summer 2007 Volume 14, Issue 2 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC journey,path,lost,moving,traveling,seeing,blind,memory,patterns,choices,finding our way,trust,experience,destiny,sense of security,knowing god http://pfl.org/article/escaping-the-role-of-scapegoat Tue, 18 May 2010 14:56:59 +0000 A vignette portraying a family scapegoat moving from cooperating with the role to rejecting the role Spring 2007 Volume 14, Issue 1 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW family roles,scapegoat,blaming,loneliness,anger,healing,stress http://pfl.org/article/reclaim-the-sabbath Mon, 10 May 2010 16:25:01 +0000 How to reclaim the Sabbath for your family by learning ways to build in important "down-time" on Sundays as well as increasing famly fun time. Spring 2007 Volume 14, Issue 1 family time,family fun,traditions,sabbath,sunday,activities,weekend,busy,down-time http://pfl.org/article/attributes-of-a-successful-marriage Tue, 04 May 2010 14:00:33 +0000 This article lists 15 keys to a successful marriage, including the habit of forgiveness, letting go of mocking and contempt when under duress, and rehearsing the good rather than the “bad” about the other. Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC marriage,commitment,contempt,successful marriage,apologize,relationship skills,communication,mocking,believing the best,respect,rehearsing good,power,money,sex,differences,acceptance,understanding,truthfulness,boundaries http://pfl.org/article/blame-a-block-to-healing Mon, 26 Apr 2010 21:03:41 +0000 Life hurts sometimes. With the hurt we can look for a person to blame. When we project blame toward others we are really saying they are responsible for our failures. If others are responsible for our failures, do they then get credit for our... Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC blame,blaming attitude,projection,disappointment,anger,personal responsibility,accountability,complain,murmuring,failure,hurt,recovery,prayer http://pfl.org/article/11-tips-to-help-manage-stress Tue, 20 Apr 2010 21:59:55 +0000 Practical, clear and helpful ideas to keep you focused and positive in the Holiday Season Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW christmas,holidays,stress,boundaries,family,traditions http://pfl.org/article/gods-forgiveness Mon, 12 Apr 2010 16:29:04 +0000 God's forgiveness is complete. He moves us from shame and guilt to being set free. Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW forgiveness,depression,anxiety,anger,addictions,healing,recovery http://pfl.org/article/boys-to-men-normal-developmental-markers Thu, 01 Apr 2010 14:17:09 +0000 This article describes the normal developmental changes boys go through in adolescence from ages 13-15. It identifies the sacred nature of this period and highlights a scripture from Luke where there is an account of the adolescent Jesus. Spring 2010 Volume 17, Issue 2 Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC http://pfl.org/article/men-in-leadership-brave-acts-vulnerable-hearts Mon, 29 Mar 2010 16:23:51 +0000 Men in leadership roles in today’s society have unique challenges. This article encourages men to fill these roles with courage, vulnerability, identification and empathy. Spring 2010 Volume 17, Issue 2 Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT men,leadership,brave,navy seals,hostages,prisoners,risk,vulnerability,authority,identification,empathy,sexuality,jesus,mary,martha,lazarus,children,freedom,morals,society,social norms http://pfl.org/article/what-i-wish-more-men-knew Wed, 24 Mar 2010 17:40:30 +0000 Men often do not know things like how much delight their children take in them. Here a therapist who has seen hundreds of men over the years outlines what she would like men to know. Things such as a woman relating from an accumulation of the days... Spring 2010 Volume 17, Issue 2 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC men,man,children,adult children,delight,encouragement,couples,marriage,women,woman,therapist,response,cumulative,here and now,faces,emotional work,guts http://pfl.org/article/powerful-dads-and-pretty-daughters Wed, 24 Mar 2010 00:23:44 +0000 Dads have a tremendous amount of influence in the lives of their daughters. This article outlines the ways in which Dads make a powerful impact both positively and negatively. Spring 2010 Volume 17, Issue 2 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW father,daughter,relationships,family,importance,anxiety,depression,self-esteem,romantic relationships,male-female relationships,marriage,example,acceptance,heavenly father,healing touch,faithfulness,faithful,research,trust http://pfl.org/article/what-men-wish-women-knew Wed, 24 Mar 2010 13:59:47 +0000 Interviewing a number of gentlemen, Brenda presents concisely and directly the thoughts and concerns these men expressed regarding the women most important to them. Covering acceptance, purpose, affection, and trust, these men placed themselves in a... Spring 2010 Volume 17, Issue 2 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC men,relationships,communication,commitment,acceptance,affection,trust,loving women,purpose,fulfillment,understanding,teamwork,unity,negotiating,roles,male,female,core differences,family http://pfl.org/article/gods-presence-in-the-midst-of-suffering Mon, 15 Mar 2010 21:17:46 +0000 Moving account of experiencing God's presence in the midst of horrendous suffering Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW stress,grief,loss,depression,anger,suffering,hope,healing http://pfl.org/article/family-roles-assigned-and-assumed Mon, 08 Mar 2010 19:22:41 +0000 The powerful impact of family role assignments and assumptions Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW family roles,crisis,hero,scapegoat,lost child,mascot,anxiety,depression,addiction http://pfl.org/article/tearing-down-the-wall-through-forgiveness Tue, 02 Mar 2010 14:08:36 +0000 What forgiveness really is and how relationships can be restored Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW relationships,conflict,anger,fear,restoration,healing,forgiveness http://pfl.org/article/perfectionism-a-wolf-in-sheeps-clothing Tue, 23 Feb 2010 14:54:59 +0000 Perfectionism is harsh and demanding. However,the Lord does not require it. Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW parent,child,relationship,marriage,perfectionism,anxiety,depression,self esteem,healing,grace http://pfl.org/article/parenting-perspectives-on-behavior-and-bonding Mon, 15 Feb 2010 18:50:06 +0000 A child's oppostional behavior may indicate emotional pain. Article explores larger perspectives, including need for bonding and healing. Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT behavior,bonding,attachment,emotional pain,grief and loss,bereavement,healing,family,anger,discipline http://pfl.org/article/overcoming-the-role-of-family-hero Tue, 09 Feb 2010 21:10:01 +0000 A vignette portraying common characteristics of the family hero Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW parenting,stress,family roles,hero,depression,anxiety,anger,healing http://pfl.org/article/abundant-attachment-with-god-and-others Tue, 02 Feb 2010 16:56:44 +0000 Illustrates how parents and spouses can use Jesus' words from the Gospel of John for healthy attachment Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT children,marriage,god's healing touch,family-of-origin,parenting,attachment,connection,emotional vulnerability http://pfl.org/article/childlike-needs-in-adult-losses Tue, 26 Jan 2010 15:06:10 +0000 Author's experience of a brother dying of AIDS portrays how Christ brings commfort through filling unmet childhood needs. Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT depression,bereavement,aids,sorrows,desires,longings,affliction,death,disease,hiv,gifts,trauma,suffering,healing,grief and loss http://pfl.org/article/families-and-transition Tue, 19 Jan 2010 18:48:34 +0000 Illustrates how Jesus can help families survive and thrive in times of change and transition. Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT transition,change,stress,grief and loss,worry,anxiety,life-cycle stages http://pfl.org/article/trauma-long-term-stress-and-people Mon, 11 Jan 2010 16:55:27 +0000 Ever have someone in your life who just seems to challenge every bit of your patience? If so, then this article may be for you. For particular individuals, there are specific responses to repeated trauma that create a personality resistant to change... Winter 2010 Volume 17, Issue 1 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC selfish,stubborn,tenacious,determined,controlling,trauma,post traumatic stress,stress,oppositional,rigid,neglect,behavior shifts,irrational,frightened,erratic http://pfl.org/article/the-inner-workings-of-people-problems Mon, 11 Jan 2010 15:05:09 +0000 As therapists at the Center for Family Healing, we sometimes give seminars about ‘people problems.’ Anxiety, stress, depression and various personality/relationship concerns are what we work with every day. This article points the reader to reading... Winter 2010 Volume 17, Issue 1 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC people,problems,suicidal tendencies,forgiveness,understanding,mindless,self protection,feeling crazy,long term stress,stress,inner circle,ethics,impossible situations,relationships,tangled relationships http://pfl.org/article/fear-and-anxiety-steps-to-restoring-courage-and-stability Wed, 06 Jan 2010 15:00:32 +0000 The new millenium brings added stressors to our lives including ever-present technology, limited family communication and bonding, overwork, and addictions. This article will explore causes and treatment for fear and anxiety to restore a Godly sense... Winter 2010 Volume 17, Issue 1 Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT danger,fear,anxiety,courage,stability,restoration,fight or flight,threat,shock,trigger,biological,brain,amygdala,prefrontal http://pfl.org/article/suicide-prevention-making-the-connection Wed, 06 Jan 2010 21:09:15 +0000 Suicide is a very complex subject and is usually not about death at all but rather about wanting to stop the pain. The vast majority of the time, those who are thinking about suicide do give verbal and/ or behavioral warning signs particularly in the... Winter 2010 Volume 17, Issue 1 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW suicide,depression,anxiety,anger,warning signs,verbal cues,behavioral cues,pain,death,die,connection,attachment,help,intervention,support,ask,question,persuade http://pfl.org/article/feeling-crazy-the-effects-of-addiction-on-the-family Wed, 06 Jan 2010 20:39:01 +0000 This article describes the serious and debilitating effects of addiction on the family. Hopes for rehabilitation are addressed. Winter 2010 Volume 17, Issue 1 Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC addiction,enslaved,habit,cycle,whirlwind,betrayal,disrespected,dismissed,survival,exhausting,honesty,roe,aa,alanon,na,recovery,god,healing,freedom,hope http://pfl.org/article/bread-of-bethlehem Mon, 28 Dec 2009 14:13:05 +0000 Family and the sharing of communion is the backdrop of this article, which explores how to receive life-giving and healing attributes of God during the Christmas season. Christmas 2007 Volume 14, Issue 4 Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT family,anxiety,depression,grief and loss,stress,conflict,healing,communion,sacrament,eucharist,bethlehem,christmas,fellowship,loneliness,stability,consistency,hope,worry,eternal life,salvation,forgiveness,life,death,challenging events,encouragement http://pfl.org/article/the-hope-of-christmas Mon, 21 Dec 2009 14:13:14 +0000 Christmas is a season in which we are reminded of why Christ came. Two things were guaranteed when Christ came into the world. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC christmas,love,hope,faithfulness,holidays,mercy http://pfl.org/article/the-notebook Mon, 07 Dec 2009 17:09:18 +0000 This article explores a ritual families can participate in at Christmas. This ritual is one that helps members of the family affirm one another. Christmas 2009 Volume 16, Issue 5 Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC gratitude,relationship,family,friends,thankful,memories,shared,giving,receiving,affirmation http://pfl.org/article/my-first-christmas-alone Mon, 07 Dec 2009 16:06:32 +0000 Holidays are unique in that they tend to awaken emotions many would rather avoid. Facing your first holidays without a loved one means the development of a new awareness of ourselves along with the loss of our loved one. Brenda candidly shares... Christmas 2009 Volume 16, Issue 5 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC grief,sadness,anxiety,loss,alone,goodbye,holiday,stress,christmas,thanksgiving,parents,mother,father,self-esteem,lonely,death,loved one,funeral,rituals http://pfl.org/article/coming-home Mon, 07 Dec 2009 14:12:02 +0000 Home is a powerful word. This article speaks to the yearning for home whether one is physically home or not. Where is home? If we do not have a sense of home, where may we find it? Christmas 2009 Volume 16, Issue 5 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC home,loss,grief,military,family,attach,yearning,christmas,mother http://pfl.org/article/cadence-91-prayer-for-military-families Mon, 07 Dec 2009 19:19:56 +0000 Cadence 91 is a poetic prayer in honor of all military serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. Based on Psalm 91, this prayer poignantly depicts the physical, emotional and spiritual trials of war and how the great love and security of Jesus Christ will not... Christmas 2009 Volume 16, Issue 5 Sarah L. Pollock (daughter of Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMF Sarah L. Pollock (daughter of Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMF soldier,military,iraq,war,afghanistan,fear,freedom,cross,tent,commander,life,bombs,foreign fighters,grard,attack,rescue,protection,hope http://pfl.org/article/family-conflict-and-the-holidays-god-bless-us-every-one Mon, 07 Dec 2009 19:16:13 +0000 Christmas is supposed to be a time of great joy and celebration, isn’t it? Yet, many have a relative or two in which there is some tension. When you consider the extra stress of the shopping, wrapping, food preparation, traveling, and stretched... Christmas 2009 Volume 16, Issue 5 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW christmas,conflict,family,stress,family gatherings,tips,serving,holidays,holiday stress,finances http://pfl.org/article/shame-and-christmas Tue, 24 Nov 2009 18:37:43 +0000 The word "Christmas" originates from a word that actually means "Christ's festival". Shame inhibits us from being able to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas. Five lies shame promotes are identified and discussed. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC shame,christmas,lies,celebration http://pfl.org/article/depression-in-the-soul-five-steps-to-freedom Wed, 18 Nov 2009 18:35:44 +0000 Depression can distort and inhibit God's true plan for our lives. Article suggests five steps to bring restorative thinking and behaviors that battle sadness, low self-esteem, and hopelessness. Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT sadness,worthlessness,self-esteem,mood disorders,grief and loss,hopelessness hope,freedom,healing,restoration,redemption,sin,bondage,purpose,power,depression http://pfl.org/article/family-systems-and-generational-bondage Thu, 12 Nov 2009 20:46:53 +0000 Article describes how past generational patterns can influence current family functioning, and how God can equip us in healthy family functioning. Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT parenting,children,adolescents,marriage,grief and loss,depression,anxiety,stress,anger,conflict,freedom,generational bondage,healing,postpartum depression,guilt abuse,sin,heritage,wounds http://pfl.org/article/faith-of-our-children-a-model-for-home-devotions Mon, 02 Nov 2009 20:42:07 +0000 Building a child's Christian faith is a foundational piece in "training up a child in the way he should go." (Proverbs 22:6) Article suggests six practical steps in developing home devitions for the elementary age child. Fall 2007 Volume 14, Issue 3 Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT family,bible study,curriculum,prayer,traditions,rituals,resources,word of god,sacraments,communion,faith,devotions http://pfl.org/article/grief-and-changes Mon, 26 Oct 2009 18:04:40 +0000 Change within a family life cycle can bring feelings of grief and loss. Article lists six ways to weather the storms of family changes. Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT marriage,anxiety,depression,grief and loss,stress,conflict,healing,birth,newborn,change,transition,adjustment,hope,future,plans,nurturance,thoughts,truth,death,retirement http://pfl.org/article/trusting-god-in-trials-and-sorrow Mon, 19 Oct 2009 01:42:40 +0000 Article depicts, through a teenager's story, how Christ will not delay his provision, safety, strength, and love when we endure trials and suffering. Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT trust,trials,sorrow,provision,safety,strength,god's love,suffering,children,adolescents,adult children,family,anxiety,depression,grief and loss,stress,conflict,god's healing touch,redemption,problems,issues,courage,shame,emotions,sadness guidance,feelings http://pfl.org/article/marching-on Tue, 13 Oct 2009 14:00:32 +0000 Article shows how God can encourage and strengthen us when facing fatigue and discouragement in challenging situations. Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT relationship building,family,marriage,friendships,mental health,anxiety,depression,grief and loss,stress,challenging events,affairs,anger,conflict,god's healing http://pfl.org/article/how-can-i-help-my-child-deal-with-bullying Mon, 12 Oct 2009 19:16:47 +0000 Real steps to help and "how to's" to deal with bullying. Fall 2009 Volume 16, Issue 4 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC isolate,report,isolation,slur,miserable,lonely,intimidation,define bully,authority,compassion,tell,bullying,bully http://pfl.org/article/trails-of-trouble-children-and-school-performance Mon, 12 Oct 2009 20:44:46 +0000 This article addresses the many feelings parents and children face as a result of school challenges. Fall 2009 Volume 16, Issue 4 Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC school,trouble,tears,reaction,triggered,challenges,social,pressure,territorial,palyground,preoccupied,anxiety,disappointment,negative,fresh,start,team,ideas,advisors,help http://pfl.org/article/supporting-safety-in-our-schools Mon, 12 Oct 2009 14:23:16 +0000 Safety in the schools has become a major focus for parents and school officials. Based on an interview with an area school counselor, Brenda briefly outlines ways in which parents can actively support safety for their children. Fall 2009 Volume 16, Issue 4 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC security,confidence,self esteem,wound,hurt,harm,assault,friendships in school,support system,parental,involvement,boundaries,trust,myspace,facebook,technology,authority,police liason,guarding,covering,protection,children's safety,sexual assault,facial http://pfl.org/article/parentteacher-allies-being-your-childs-advocate Thu, 08 Oct 2009 16:06:00 +0000 Parents and teachers make a great team for supporting your child! Being your child's advocate at school can help your child enjoy school and achieve higher goals. Ideas in this article are shared for taking an active role with the teacher and... Fall 2009 Volume 16, Issue 4 parenting,school,school system,teacher,principal,student,child,problems,school problems,advocate,support,help,tips http://pfl.org/article/adhd-and-homework-it-can-work Mon, 05 Oct 2009 18:33:42 +0000 Children with ADHD have a tremendous amount of potential. ADHD is not a limitation nor a predictor of school performance. In this article, Christine provides a practical guideline for parents to help make homework time more productive and less stressful. Fall 2009 Volume 16, Issue 4 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW adhd,attention deficit disorder,attention deficit hyperactivity disorder,homework,stress,parenting,homework,help,focusing,attention span,school,school problems,learning styles,conflict,homework help http://pfl.org/article/children-and-attachment-wounds Fri, 02 Oct 2009 20:28:48 +0000 Early trauma in a child’s life can result in attachment wounds in your child. Article describes how a specialized family therapy; Family Narrative Attachment Therapy, can help rebuild bonds between parent and child. Especially useful for foster and... Fall 2009 Volume 16, Issue 4 Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT children,attachment,conflict,resistance,reactive,trauma,divorce,death,postpartum depression,alcoholic,parenting,foster,adopted,family narrative attachment therapy,reactive attachment disorder,behavior,emotions,bonding,self-confidence http://pfl.org/article/elderly-and-families-intergenerational-respect-and-love Mon, 28 Sep 2009 20:21:33 +0000 Suggestions on how family members can bring emotional, practical, and spiritual support to older loved ones Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT elderly,intergenerational,respect,love,children,adolescents,adult children,singles,grief and loss,healing,grandparents,belonging http://pfl.org/article/simplicity-in-a-complex-world Mon, 21 Sep 2009 01:11:33 +0000 Money, possessions, and success can inhibit our desire to prioritize loving God and one another. Article addresses managing earthly things with eternal treasures. Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT money,possessions,success,materialism,consumerism,peace,wealth,accomplishments,status,satisfaction,contentment,fellowship,god's love,simplicity,anxiety http://pfl.org/article/redeeming-our-life-stories-narrative-family-therapy Tue, 15 Sep 2009 18:03:02 +0000 Our lifetime experiences can have positive and negative impacts on us. Narrative Family Therapy can be a tool in allowing Christ's redemptive love, and other positive stories of our lives, to "re-author" our painful past. Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT depression,stress,conflict,redemption,change,transformation,memories,flashbacks,healing,despair,victory,forgiveness,abuse,loss,sin,betrayal,joy,self-esteem,truth,struggles,cross,christ's death http://pfl.org/article/traumatic-loss-and-uncommon-grace Tue, 08 Sep 2009 21:19:58 +0000 Utilizes truths gleaned from the story of the Good Samaritan to help families cope with traumatic loss. Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT anxiety,depression,stress,trauma,grief and loss,suffering,abuse,wounded,mercy,grace,compassion http://pfl.org/article/marital-transitions-parting-the-fearful-waters Sun, 30 Aug 2009 18:45:07 +0000 Three steps to finding marital stability in the midst of change Summer 2007 Volume 14, Issue 2 Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT family,change,dream,fear,transition,battle,obedience,guidance,fear,anxiety,stress http://pfl.org/article/teamwork-in-tasks-and-ministry Mon, 24 Aug 2009 23:48:11 +0000 Article describes seven principles to decrease stress through teamwork and delegation in ministry, family, or work-related tasks. Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT http://pfl.org/article/the-comfort-of-position Mon, 17 Aug 2009 02:04:54 +0000 The reality of our position with our Heavenly Father is one that is filled with comfort and help during our difficult times. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC position,difficult,suffering,comfort,assurance http://pfl.org/article/the-illness-of-hanging-on Mon, 10 Aug 2009 18:06:10 +0000 There are particular dynamics that keep us from moving forward in the healing process. Our insistence in hanging onto assumptions, should's and have to's block our ability to receive the power to live as we trust in God's strength. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC assumptions,judgments,discouragement,illness,recovery http://pfl.org/article/strength-for-all-things Wed, 05 Aug 2009 21:42:28 +0000 We set ourselves up for discouragement and irritation depending on how we talk ourselves through the beginning of each day. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC strength,anxiety,gratitude,discontentment http://pfl.org/article/sabotaging-love Tue, 21 Jul 2009 13:54:52 +0000 Many experiences of being shamed for one's thoughts and feelings create the idea that one can search for but never find love. God's promise is that He gives us power, love, and sound thinking as we walk with Him. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC shame,sabotaging love,loving,fears,abuse http://pfl.org/article/saying-im-sorry Mon, 13 Jul 2009 13:58:55 +0000 Saying "I'm sorry." entail more than these two words. Examples in scripture outline what feeling sorry means and paints a word picture of our internal experience when feeling truly sorry. Summer 2007 Volume 14, Issue 2 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC conflict,forgiveness,apology,sorrow,repentance,reconcilliation http://pfl.org/article/working-hard-to-be-liked Thu, 02 Jul 2009 08:38:29 +0000 People pleasers work very hard to be liked and crave love and acceptance from others at the cost of their own identity. The real person can become lost in the daze of perceived expectations. But there is good news. Summer 2009 Volume 16, Issue 3 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW anger,conflict,marriage,relationships,family,singles,friendships,stress,addiction,people pleasing,criticism,depression,anxiety,perfectionism,perfectionist,perfectionists http://pfl.org/article/our-love-affair-with-food Tue, 30 Jun 2009 12:42:35 +0000 This article discusses forming healthy or unhealthy relationships with food at several stages in our development. Tips for being aware of the place of food in our lives and resources for developing a healthier relationship with food are included. Summer 2009 Volume 16, Issue 3 food,habits,parenting,children,teens,self-care,eating,self-help,coping,food addiction,health http://pfl.org/article/rebuilding-after-the-storm Tue, 30 Jun 2009 12:33:17 +0000 August 18, 2005. A record breaking day in the history of Wisconsin with 27 confirmed tornadoes in one twenty-four hour period. In one moment, debris was strewn everywhere and the destruction left behind on that day was well into the millions of... Summer 2009 Volume 16, Issue 3 addiction,loss,trust,storm,storms,forgive,self-care,talk,talking,discuss,husband,wife,spouse,relationship,alcohol,gambling,pornography,rebuild,rebuilding,addict,grieve,grieving,forgiveness,conflict http://pfl.org/article/on-line-gaming-how-much-is-too-much Tue, 30 Jun 2009 12:07:38 +0000 Article explores the explosion of the online gaming industry and the tough decisions parents have to make about hours spent gaming. In it is a set of signs that identify if there is a problem or even an addiction present. Summer 2009 Volume 16, Issue 3 Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC guidance,help,panic,teen,surfing,withdrawing,mnimizing,rationalizing,denying,depression,anxiety,shame,guilt,craving,discontent,irritable,restless,addictive,trouble,facebood,gaming,online http://pfl.org/article/drunk-with-hope-gods-help-for-addiction-and-emotional-wounds Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:22:23 +0000 Emotional wounds can negatively influence relationships which can lead to addictive behaviors. Article explores how to put God’s truth into emotional pain, thus taking the first step in freedom from addiction. Summer 2009 Volume 16, Issue 3 Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT addiction,emotional wounds,healing,workaholism,alcohol,drugs,pornography,compulsive,self worth,habit,substance,abuse,excessive,relationships,loneliness,love in action,sexuality,vulnerability,victory over the http://pfl.org/article/relationships-and-the-brain Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:20:32 +0000 Our brain is sending out signals for hormone release in all of our relationships. These hormones are either the "feel-good" kind or they are the fight or flight kind. Therapists at the Center for Family Healing give healthy response... Summer 2009 Volume 16, Issue 3 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC brain,hormones,response,marriage,research based,restoration,addiction,dependency,healing,counseling,deep peace,peace,research http://pfl.org/article/treasuring-children-helping-children-in-chronically-difficult-families Tue, 23 Jun 2009 12:54:17 +0000 Families where addictions and chronic stress or conflict dwell are especially difficult for children to cope with. Without a doubt, children in these settings have to work overtime to cope, survive and find a sense of safety that is different than... Summer 2009 Volume 16, Issue 3 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC addictions,alcoholism,drug addiction,drugs,chemical dependency,children,kids,coping skills,chronic stress,acute,stress,helping children,ministering,validate,support,love children,nurture,develop skills,truth,lies,deceive,precious,treasuring http://pfl.org/article/the-balancing-act-detachment Mon, 22 Jun 2009 00:05:36 +0000 Detachment is a concept often misunderstood. It does not mean "cut off" from those around you. Provided are questions to ask oneself and spiritual guidelines which aid the process of loving yourself and loving others appropriately. Spring 2007 Volume 14, Issue 1 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC loving others,respect,conflict,emotions,detachment http://pfl.org/article/teaching-children-about-feelings Sun, 14 Jun 2009 22:28:05 +0000 Children need help in identifying what emotion they feel just as much as we do as adults. Here are some guidelines which are fun and a relaxing way to help your children learn what they may feel and when. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC children,feelings,parenting,emotions http://pfl.org/article/rules-rigidity-and-responsibility Tue, 09 Jun 2009 13:32:29 +0000 This candid look at self care outlines the way rules promote rigidty of thought. When rigid in our thinking we turn away from the grace and love of God. Turning away leads to a very lonely existence. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC rules,rigid,responsibility,self care,recovery,grace,love http://pfl.org/article/worshipping-comfort Wed, 27 May 2009 14:18:24 +0000 Comfort is natural and necessary in our developmental processes. The lack of comfort may set off a cycle of thinking and doing that feeds an inappropriate focus for comfort. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC comfort,worship,anxiety,craving,triggers,healing,deprivation http://pfl.org/article/family-finances-dont-go-solo Wed, 27 May 2009 14:11:05 +0000 Many couples experience financial stress at some point in their marriage. How they communicate that stress to one another is significant. In this article, Christine provides a plan for couples to talk about family finances that builds unity and a team... Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW finances,financial stress,stress,attachment,money,money management,communication,addiction,communicate,conflict,overspending,couples,marriage,marital stress,debt,debt reduction,opportunity,building,team,team building http://pfl.org/article/why-giving-is-better-than-receiving Tue, 19 May 2009 19:37:37 +0000 Learning how to give without expectation will help to strengthen and revitalize your relationship with others and with God. giving,expectations,conflict,selfishness,anger,fairness,scorekeeping http://pfl.org/article/when-children-steal Fri, 15 May 2009 21:57:51 +0000 There isn't a parent on earth who enjoys the idea of their child stealing. Understanding the possible reasons that children steal is foundational to knowing how to respond in discipline. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC deprivation,fear,security,adolescents,children,stealing http://pfl.org/article/whats-behind-that-anger Mon, 04 May 2009 18:39:30 +0000 Anger is a complex emotion and uncomfortable for many. Since anger is often a secondary emotion, one is benefited by identifying the primary emotion anger covers. Along with this are the possible thoughts and demands that feed the anger. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC anger,conflict,emotion,assumptions,expectations http://pfl.org/article/communicating-with-kids-and-adults Mon, 27 Apr 2009 18:43:30 +0000 Practical tips are provided to help children pair emotions with words and a specific technique is described to improve communication for both kids and adults. Fall 2007 Volume 14, Issue 3 parenting,children http://pfl.org/article/the-walk-of-intimacy Mon, 20 Apr 2009 17:08:52 +0000 We need intimacy. Defining what intimacy is and allowing God to increase our ability to give and receive intimacy aids each of us in our growth process. This article includes and exercise for all to identify possible underlying assumptions that may... Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC intimacy,relationships,role models,friendship,singles http://pfl.org/article/the-look-of-god Tue, 14 Apr 2009 20:02:05 +0000 The power of a look. When someone looks at another's face they see the inner thoughts or feelings of that person. What do people see when they look at our faces? Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC inner process,disgust,shame,feelings,thoughts,look http://pfl.org/article/what-a-lot-to-possess Mon, 06 Apr 2009 22:18:36 +0000 Our position as a child of God is laden with numerous benefits. Our inheritance is both instant and progressive. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC heirs,possess,spiritual character,fear,rest http://pfl.org/article/sexual-health-for-young-people Tue, 31 Mar 2009 20:15:49 +0000 Critical thinking about sex is important for young people. This is a guide for examining the themes being promoted by our sex-saturated culture. Spring 2009 Volume 16, Issue 2 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC faithful marriage,covenant,faithful,sex sells,reputation,sexual response,sex is exciting,biological responses,monogamous couple,sex hormones,compromised position,cheapen,bonding,sex http://pfl.org/article/what-teens-want-parents-to-understand Tue, 31 Mar 2009 19:57:07 +0000 Some teens believe that parents "don't get it" or "just don't understand." Recently, I asked teens to help me understand what it was like to be a teenager. This article reports their comments. Spring 2009 Volume 16, Issue 2 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW parenting,adolescents,teens,teenagers,popularity,fitting in,moodiness,parenting advice,understanding teens,activities,family,relationships,difficult child http://pfl.org/article/blended-families-and-teens Tue, 31 Mar 2009 19:34:07 +0000 Blended families can be challenging for everyone, especially a teenager. Article describes these challenges and ways to help your teen navigate the ups and downs. Spring 2009 Volume 16, Issue 2 Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT blended family,step-parent,remarriage,birth order,siblings,loss,confusion,anger,sadness,birth parent,variations,step-siblings,developmental,social stress,hormones,self-worth,mood,motivation,sexual acting out,feelings,one-on-one http://pfl.org/article/to-rescue-or-not-that-is-the-question Tue, 24 Mar 2009 18:22:57 +0000 This article explores ways in which parents rescue their adolescent children and ways to weigh the decision whether to act on their behalf. Spring 2009 Volume 16, Issue 2 Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC incompetence,launch,pain,struggle,law enforcement,school officials,outside resources,problem,adolescents,accountability,responsibility,financeial terms,mistakes,self reliance,independence,reliance,young adults http://pfl.org/article/the-pushpull-of-adolescence Tue, 24 Mar 2009 13:21:53 +0000 Adolescence is often been described as a second toddlerhood. Parents of adolescents often express to me the dichotomy of the behaviors they see (laughing as they share). I know parents don't always laugh but this article takes two underlying... Spring 2009 Volume 16, Issue 2 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC adolescents,adolescence,teens,teenagers,development,toddlers,tug-o-war,young people,young adults,developmental,stage,maturity,maturing,growing up,boundaries,limits,letting go,holding close,dynamics,expansion,growth,improvement,unfolding http://pfl.org/article/teens-and-media-violence Mon, 23 Mar 2009 13:08:12 +0000 This article describes how television, video games, and film violence affects teens, how parents can help protect their teens from viewing media violence, and how to discuss media violence with their teens. Spring 2009 Volume 16, Issue 2 videos,video games,media violence,computers,teens,adolescents,television,movies,violence,communication,studies http://pfl.org/article/i-have-a-what Mon, 23 Mar 2009 22:26:08 +0000 As the Nationwide Insurance commercial proclaims, "Life comes at you fast," parents can find themselves quickly thrown into raising a teenager. As you jump into adolescence with your adolescent, take a deep breath, and use these reminders to... Spring 2009 Volume 16, Issue 2 dream,dreams,transitions,transition,changes,change,difficult,love,help with teenagers,create,plan,parenting,parents,spiritual,spiritual help,purpose,adolescents,adolescent,teens,teen http://pfl.org/article/double-yoke-no-burden-is-carried-alone Mon, 16 Mar 2009 13:07:36 +0000 Examines our natural tendency to "go it alone" and provides a way to envision sharing your burdens with Jesus. alone,burden,share,stress,jesus,together,teamwork http://pfl.org/article/resting-in-hope Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:03:01 +0000 Hope comes from facing our battles with the flesh before the grace and mercy of God. I Peter 1:13 is the basis of this devotional. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC resting,freedom,self evaluation,perception,hope http://pfl.org/article/entitlement-money-and-families Mon, 02 Mar 2009 19:20:58 +0000 This article describes what entitlement means and how families send messages to their children about money and entitlement. Winter 2009 Volume 16, Issue 1 Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC http://pfl.org/article/allowing-grief Sun, 22 Feb 2009 23:20:33 +0000 Resisting the existence of grief robs us of the comfort available in our relationship with the Lord. A brief example of one girl's grief is shared. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC death of a loved one,grief,loss,recovery,healing tears http://pfl.org/article/working-with-your-childs-temperament Mon, 16 Feb 2009 18:52:00 +0000 This article accompanies Christine Vander Wielen and Lynda Savage's five part radio series "Working with Your Child's Temperament". The nine characteristics of temperament and the rating scale are outlined. Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW parenting advice,parenting skills,child,adolescent,positive relationships,temperament,personality,research study,study,persistency,intensity,persistent,strong willed,strong willed child,regularity,distractible. energy http://pfl.org/article/humor-and-perversity Wed, 11 Feb 2009 17:52:10 +0000 Humor in our culture has taken a sarcastic, demeaning turn. Learning to communicate from our hear with wisdom is different than communicating humor with respect for another. God's view of this type of humor is discussed Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC humor,sarcasm,attachment,connection,friendship,belonging,conflict http://pfl.org/article/removing-the-burden Mon, 02 Feb 2009 19:17:15 +0000 The habit of pushing oneself through for the sake of performance or accomplishment is a trap. Involving our relationship with the Lord reveals His promise to remove the burden from our shoulder and bring His pacing to our daily life. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC pacing,performance,relationship,promise,healing,submission,humility http://pfl.org/article/women-and-money- Tue, 27 Jan 2009 15:12:01 +0000 More and more women are coming into their own sense of money, what it means to them and how to manage their funds. This transition means looking at three basic principles of relationship that impact how we as women think, feel and behave around... Winter 2009 Volume 16, Issue 1 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC money,expenses,funds,power,control,security,provision,providing,spending,saving,budget,assets,bills,cash,finances,resources,capital,payment,salary,wages,property,riches,wealth,poverty,poor http://pfl.org/article/tips-for-talking-about-finances Fri, 23 Jan 2009 13:08:44 +0000 Talking about money can lead to conflict, but research shows that having a plan on how to handle disagreements leads to happier marriages. This article provides some useful tips on handling your differences regarding finances. Winter 2009 Volume 16, Issue 1 finances,money,communication,disagreements,relationships,marriage,conflict,tips,tools,skills http://pfl.org/article/mine-mine-mine-a-look-at-greed- Fri, 23 Jan 2009 23:00:26 +0000 Sometimes we humans are as selfish and greedy as a two-year-old. We try to obtain some illusive something by wanting more, more, more. Feeling cheated or deprived is one thing. Using money and power to feel better is another. Craving and greed... Winter 2009 Volume 16, Issue 1 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC greed,take stock,money,power,sex,craving,coveting,cash,pleasure,favor,gift,rankled,disregard,disregarded,cheat,cheated,healing,recovery,admire http://pfl.org/article/turning-financial-stress-into-an-opportunity-for-growth-and-attachment-in-marriage Fri, 23 Jan 2009 22:20:51 +0000 Many couples experience financial stress at some point in their marriage. However uncomfortable that stress may be, it can also be an opportunity for growth and attachment in marriage. This article gives tips on how to discuss finances with your... Winter 2009 Volume 16, Issue 1 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW finances,financial stress,stress,attachment,money,money management,communication,addiction,communicate,conflict http://pfl.org/article/money-through-the-ages-changing-our-generational-views Thu, 22 Jan 2009 23:21:34 +0000 Our generational family history can influence our current views on money for ourselves and for our families. This article describes six signs of generational financial bondage, and three ways to step into new Biblical, healthy perspectives on money... Winter 2009 Volume 16, Issue 1 Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT money,finances,poverty,wealth,generations,loyalty,bondage,financial bondage,shame,vulnerability,trauma,spending,debt,materialism,gifts,generosity,tithing,spending,savings,money management,matthew 6:33,matthew 6:26 http://pfl.org/article/combating-perfectionism Mon, 19 Jan 2009 15:19:03 +0000 There are varied reasons for the development of perfectionism in our lives. Understanding the possible sources and reconstructing our belief system is founded in God's Word and His love for us. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC failure,perfectionism,mistakes,pride,performance,stress http://pfl.org/article/you-dont-need-much-money-for-fun Tue, 13 Jan 2009 21:39:28 +0000 Ten fun and free or low-cost ideas to beat cabin fever. Winter 2009 Volume 16, Issue 1 parent,energy,low cost,free,activity,idea,winter,cabin fever,kids,family,fun activities,activities,fun http://pfl.org/article/martha-can-you-believe Fri, 09 Jan 2009 15:27:52 +0000 Martha was unique in her refusal to not question God. She pursued Jesus in hope of receiving answers and comfort in her time of grief and loss. Using her life we will see the utilization of her skills and God's merciful response to her pain. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC death,loss,grief,believing god,coping skills http://pfl.org/article/christmas-gods-sacred-covenant Tue, 23 Dec 2008 20:30:14 +0000 Using the analogy of a love story, this brief passage describes the tenderness of God's love for each one of us. The holiday of Christmas is especially noted as it is a special time to celebrate the gift of God's commitment to us. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC christmas,love story,tenderness,recovery,heart of god http://pfl.org/article/christmas-then-and-now Mon, 15 Dec 2008 02:11:51 +0000 Providing a personal perspective of Christmas as a child and then as an adult allows us to implement the power of our faith during this stressul time of the year. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC healing,christmas,holidays,mental health,stress http://pfl.org/article/facing-the-holidays-together Mon, 08 Dec 2008 16:18:29 +0000 Each year numerous couples and families struggle to keep pace with the expectations placed upon them from various sources. Keeping extended family, friends, and each other happy requires great skill around negotiation, self-awareness, and the... Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC holiday,christmas,new year,festivity,observance,stress,anxiety,conflict,anger,fighting,expectations,dreams,values,limits,energy,define,boundaries,depression,estrangement,dread,celebration,rejoicing,gifts,presents,forgiveness http://pfl.org/article/managing-food-dilemmas-during-the-holidays Wed, 03 Dec 2008 13:09:35 +0000 Food holds many meanings and memories for us, especially during the holiday season. This article offers practical tips and suggestions for those with food allergies or special diets. Christmas 2008 Volume 15, Issue 5 memories,food,diet,allergies,boundaries,rules,extended family,holidays,stress,tips,ethnic traditions,traditions,rituals http://pfl.org/article/coping-with-change-at-christmas Wed, 03 Dec 2008 18:05:02 +0000 Change is often difficult for families, but changes during the Christmas season can be especially tough. Article looks at four practical and spiritual ways to manage changes: based on Mary, the mother of Jesus, and her response to the birth of our... Christmas 2008 Volume 15, Issue 5 Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT cope,change,transition,loss,grief,christmas,christ's birth,fear,sadness,trials,problems,faithfulness,fellowship,opportunityes,praise,thanksgiving,future,feelings,concerns,honesty,psalm 139,luke 2,god's love http://pfl.org/article/when-a-father-dies--preparing-for-the-holidays Tue, 25 Nov 2008 19:00:08 +0000 The death of a family member creates a kind of stress that one does not understand until they experience the loss themselves. Add the holidays to this and the multiple levels of grief increase. There are a few basic truths that become real in the face... Christmas 2008 Volume 15, Issue 5 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC decline,deprivation,death,travail,anguish,woe,trial,sorrow,sadness,pain,mourning,distress,bereavement,depression,anxiety,remembering,security,fathers,saying good-bye,honesty,truth,rituals,conflict,stress,levels of grief,living on,moving http://pfl.org/article/christmas-shocking Tue, 25 Nov 2008 20:37:34 +0000 Christmas this year may not happen as you picture it. When things do not go as planned, you may experience Christmas culture shock. Christmas 2008 Volume 15, Issue 5 shock,family,expectation,relationships,christmas,culture shock,culture,change,stress,anxiety,conflict http://pfl.org/article/let-there-be-peace-in-the-home-helping-children-manage-stress-during-the-holiday-season Tue, 25 Nov 2008 20:21:36 +0000 Children are just as vulnerable to experiencing holiday stress as adults. This article gives parents nine practical tips to help children manage stress associated with the holiday season. Christmas 2008 Volume 15, Issue 5 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW children,christmas,stress,stress management,holiday,holiday stress,grief,loss,family traditions,routines,priorities,attitude,service http://pfl.org/article/christmas-and-family-attachment Tue, 25 Nov 2008 19:51:30 +0000 Some children find attachment difficult. Adopted children may have an especially hard time attaching to parents and siblings. Christmas is a time when small steps may be taken to promote a sense of belonging and attachment. A description of this... Christmas 2008 Volume 15, Issue 5 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC christmas,belonging,attachment,adopted,loss,attachment disorder,break ups,sudden cut-off,sudden anger,anger,reactive,memories,home,abandoned,ministry,peace http://pfl.org/article/gifts-of-the-heart-ideas-for-giving-at-christmas Tue, 25 Nov 2008 19:12:20 +0000 This article addresses how families can be creative about giving during times of economic shortages. Christmas 2008 Volume 15, Issue 5 Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC meaningful,memorable,heart,homemade,extravagance,clutter,simplifying,prosperity,debt,burden,guilt,sorrow,loss,prices,gas,finances,squeeze,gift http://pfl.org/article/conflict-and-the-call-to-bless Fri, 21 Nov 2008 18:20:06 +0000 The desire for revenge is within each one of us in the face of hurtful or offensive behavior. It is our way of saying we are not the villains. God has called us to bless one a nother. Blessing one another requires a cessation of treating others as if... Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC conflict,marriage revenge,blessing others http://pfl.org/article/the-process-of-individual-growth Tue, 18 Nov 2008 00:21:51 +0000 The metaphor of how plants grow provides for us a picture for our own individual process. Growing in understanding of this process and God's involvememnt aids in our ability to remain faithful to the journey. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC growth,individual development,growing in god,recovery http://pfl.org/article/clarity-of-thought-in-relationships Mon, 10 Nov 2008 19:24:39 +0000 There are various fears and concerns that feed behaviors not helpful in our relationships with one another. Specific guidelines are available to aid us in our n eed for clarity of thought and behavior as we seek to experience and provide healthy... Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC marriage,family,conflict,boudnaries,anxiety http://pfl.org/article/abraham-fear-and-choice Tue, 04 Nov 2008 16:45:35 +0000 Abraham's life, among others, exhibits the impact of fear on our choices. The reward outlined by the Lord for those who persevere is His increased presence in our lives. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC anxiety,stress,suffering,choices,fear http://pfl.org/article/honesty Mon, 27 Oct 2008 18:57:38 +0000 Deciding to be honest is only the beginning of living an honest life. c onsciously choosing to not deceive is an ongoing journey that challenges the reality of who we are and where belonging begins. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC relationships,conflict,communication,recovery,couples,honesty,belonging http://pfl.org/article/deprivation-and-anger Mon, 20 Oct 2008 19:33:23 +0000 Feelings of anger often cover many different primary emotions: hurt, confusion, fear, and rejection. Deprivation, often based in fear, is a part of life. Placing our confidence in the Lord's availability may not reduce deprivation but can help... Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC conflict,anger,loss,depression,stress,deprivation http://pfl.org/article/confrontation Mon, 13 Oct 2008 15:01:13 +0000 Confrontation is a difficult behavior to master yet crucial in our ability to build a sense of equality and respect in relationships. There are specific steps in preparing to confront that one can follow that help in creating the best possible outcome. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC conflict resolution,anger,confrontation,confronting http://pfl.org/article/happy-kids-peaceful-parents Fri, 10 Oct 2008 21:23:02 +0000 Nature is filled with the very nature of God Himself. Article explains how God can use His creation for uniting families through opening up communication, and simple enjoyment of one another. Fall 2008 Volume 15, Issue 4 Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT nature,peace,happiness,joy,freedom,captivity,comfort,sexuality,communication,anxiety,outdoors,play,fun,children,parents. http://pfl.org/article/mealtime-tips-make-it-happen Fri, 10 Oct 2008 13:10:10 +0000 Provides practical information you can use today to make mealtime a priority and to help your family enjoy mealtimes. Fall 2008 Volume 15, Issue 4 family time,traditions,mealtime,tips http://pfl.org/article/why-do-children-misbehave-what-do-they-get-out-of-it Mon, 06 Oct 2008 19:42:43 +0000 Children misbehave for several reasons. Want to know the underlying main reasons why they misbehave? That is what this article covers in an easy and readable style. Every parent of children young and old will “get something out of this one.” Fall 2008 Volume 15, Issue 4 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC misbehavior,parents,attention,power,revenge,display of inadequacy,consequence,naughty,connection,behavior,family system,attachment,bonding http://pfl.org/article/kids-in-the-wheelbarrow-cultivating-trust-in-the-home Mon, 06 Oct 2008 19:34:53 +0000 Explore your definition of trust, discover what trust means in your home, and begin to cultivate a trusting environment. Fall 2008 Volume 15, Issue 4 parenting,trust,relationships,honesty http://pfl.org/article/nurturing-your-childs-relationship-with-god Mon, 29 Sep 2008 17:40:09 +0000 The various stages of a child's growth create numerous needs as well as avenues in which a parent can help the child turn towards a relationship with God. This article includes the stages of growth and outlines simple ways a parent can... Fall 2008 Volume 15, Issue 4 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC nurturing spirituality,parenting children,spiritual need,stages of growth,children and god,spirituality http://pfl.org/article/this-is-your-life-adolescents-leaving-home Mon, 29 Sep 2008 17:34:43 +0000 This article addresses launching as a transition in family life, and ways one can prepare for it. Fall 2008 Volume 15, Issue 4 Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC transition,emerging adolescents,leaving home,parenting,remembering http://pfl.org/article/stay-strong-while-raising-strong-willed-children Mon, 29 Sep 2008 16:26:46 +0000 Strong willed children can be amazingly creative, innovative and steadfast while at the same time frustrating and exhausting to parents. This article discusses some tools for parents to use to teach, train and motivate their strong willed child. Fall 2008 Volume 15, Issue 4 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW temperament,boundaries,limits,power struggles,communication,strong willed,parenting http://pfl.org/article/learning-to-fight-fair Mon, 29 Sep 2008 16:21:44 +0000 All of us have times when we disagree or fight and fight dirty. There are helpful guidelines to fighting fair. They may be ideal but these guidelines promote the best possible atmosphere for you and for your loved ones. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC conflict,fighting fair,disagreements,anger,communication http://pfl.org/article/building-self-esteem Mon, 22 Sep 2008 18:34:48 +0000 There isn't a parent I know who doesn't want to be a part of helping their child grow up feeling good about who they are. Our self-esteem actually is developed on three different levels. Included in this articles is an exercise to help a ll... Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC communication,self esteem,belonging,significance http://pfl.org/article/in-pursuit-of-belonging Mon, 15 Sep 2008 01:29:21 +0000 Sometimes obtaining a sense of belonging promotes behaviors that demean or 'step on' others in order to feel significant. Using a passage from Hebrews, this article takes a look at the role of the priest, our role as priests in the family of... Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC belonging,family,friendship,leadership,authority,parenting,singleness,stress http://pfl.org/article/character-vs-reputation Sun, 07 Sep 2008 23:24:12 +0000 Knowing the difference between our character and our reputation is an integral part of our ministry. We promote the heart of God or we promote self. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC reputation,character,treasure,ministry http://pfl.org/article/balancing-power-and-position Mon, 01 Sep 2008 22:00:14 +0000 Using the life of Hagar as an example, we can discover how easily the balance of power and position in relationships can become unbalanced. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC balance,position in family,parenting,belonging,hierarchy,power http://pfl.org/article/good-bad-or-equal Mon, 25 Aug 2008 13:47:58 +0000 Each person in a family or group works at finding the way in which they are special. The process or, at times, battle for significance goes awry. God has perspective on what makes us all equal. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC conflict,equality,forgiveness,position,power http://pfl.org/article/growing-up-in-christ Mon, 18 Aug 2008 12:56:51 +0000 Maturity takes time to develop in all of us. Obvious, I know, however we can identify particular attitudes and behaviors that help us identify how we are progressing in our walk with the Lord and with others. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC maturity,kindness,faith,godliness,growing up http://pfl.org/article/parents-modeling-faith Wed, 06 Aug 2008 14:57:55 +0000 Every parent seeks to passon their faith. Taking a look at one example in scripture, we see how the everyday patterns of life provide a foundation in which a child may learn the reality of God's presence and decide for him/herself to believe in God Fall 2007 Volume 14, Issue 3 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC children,faith in god,teaching values,adolescents,parenting http://pfl.org/article/answering-jesus-call Tue, 29 Jul 2008 13:10:51 +0000 This article helps the reader make decisions about when it is important to act on Jesus' call and to be open to His timing. Summer 2008 Volume 15, Issue 3 god's will,priorities,god's call,obedience,listening,family http://pfl.org/article/the-helper-and-the-light Wed, 16 Jul 2008 18:24:29 +0000 Making decisions, fom the simple to the complex, is something we do every day all day long. Someone said we are our choices. God is good, He wants the best for us, and God is sovereign. If we ask, the Holy Spirit sheds light on our path so we may... Summer 2008 Volume 15, Issue 3 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC walking,steps,crooked paths,reading the bible,light,decisions,decision making,direction,choices,holy spirit http://pfl.org/article/hello-how-can-i-help Mon, 14 Jul 2008 22:16:39 +0000 An introduction of Derreka Walton, the newest clinical therapist and member of Practical Family Living, and The Center for Family Healing team Summer 2008 Volume 15, Issue 3 therapist http://pfl.org/article/chronic-disease-a-life-altering-condition Mon, 14 Jul 2008 21:19:51 +0000 Each year many people are diagnosed with having a chronic disease. This article discusses some of the common grief reactions patients may have when first diagnosed. Summer 2008 Volume 15, Issue 3 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW health,chronic disease,loss,grief http://pfl.org/article/different-culture-equal-honor-viewpoints-on-shame Thu, 03 Jul 2008 21:59:09 +0000 Family and individual rituals can look different, but are equally valued by God. Article shows how to bring sensitivity and honor to these rituals, when culture or economic and social status are different between people. Summer 2008 Volume 15, Issue 3 Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT social,economic,social culture,economic culture,shame,tradition,ritual,economic shame,social shame,poverty,poor working class,community,violence,honor,respect,equality,beliefs,opinions,behaviors,differences,wounds,loneliness,discomfort,judgment,stranger. http://pfl.org/article/validation-is-not-agreement Thu, 03 Jul 2008 21:40:32 +0000 This article describes the difference between validating another person's communication and agreeing with it. Examples are given. Summer 2008 Volume 15, Issue 3 Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC validation,agreement,at odds,conversations,loss,interpreted,emerging adult,dismissing,discounting,connecting http://pfl.org/article/respect-in-families Thu, 03 Jul 2008 21:32:06 +0000 There are three foundational principles that make respect in families happen. Following these principles may be challenging but are also an expression of our commitment to following the examples laid before us by the Lord. In part one, respect is... Summer 2008 Volume 15, Issue 3 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC shame,families,status,position,servant,respect,grandiosity,pride,selfishness,humility,serve http://pfl.org/article/anger-the-a-word Tue, 01 Jul 2008 18:44:58 +0000 Anger is a word that creates great discomfort for many people. However, there are many reasons why anger can be a positive contribution to any relationships Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC relationships,grief,emotion,conflict,anger http://pfl.org/article/shame-vs-honesty Tue, 17 Jun 2008 15:21:33 +0000 Shame is the single most inhibitor to any individual's development of honesty. God's proomise of honesty to us paves the way to our increased ability to relate honestly with Him and with those around us. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC comfort,honesty,shame http://pfl.org/article/character-grace-and-relationships Wed, 11 Jun 2008 17:07:24 +0000 Paul's honesty about his core nature and the working of G od's grace gives each of us hope in our ability to love one another. It is in the acknowledgement of our sin that we become better equipped to love one another. Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC friendship,singleness,marriage,family,sin http://pfl.org/article/when-parents-fight Tue, 03 Jun 2008 20:45:42 +0000 Children develop their sense of belonging and sense of security from their relationships with their parents. When there is on-going animosity between the parents, it is difficult for children to feel safe and to attach to both parents. Winter 2008 Volume 15, Issue 1 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW conflict resolution,depression,anxiety,marriage,security,parents,relationship,belonging http://pfl.org/article/things-to-remember-when-grieving Tue, 20 May 2008 14:48:30 +0000 Following guidelines originally written in "How To Grieve" by KAIROS, these steps help the grief stricken person what to remember. Each of these ten statements move the grieving individual towards the strength of God and moving forward into... Compiled by Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Compiled by Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC grief,loss,death of a loved one,losing a spouse,surviving a loss,suffering,pain,helping,ministering comfort http://pfl.org/article/who-i-am-in-christ Mon, 12 May 2008 23:09:27 +0000 Knowing how God sees us and what we have available with Him is important in the developmental process of being His child. What follows are scriptures that identify who we are, what we have, and the things we can do when we believe the truth of His Word. Author Unknown, Edited by Brenda Spina, M.S.,LMFT, LPC Author Unknown, Edited by Brenda Spina, M.S.,LMFT, LPC walking with christ,redeemed lives,firmly rooted,beloved,mental health,emotional health,healing,child of god,confidence,self esteem http://pfl.org/article/parents-guide-to-lingo-on-the-internet Mon, 05 May 2008 13:02:57 +0000 The benefits and dangers of the internet are becoming more apparent as time passes. Parents have the increasingly difficult task of protecting their children and adolescents from the dangers. Here you will find some of the common uses of letters and... Fall 2007 Volume 14, Issue 3 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC boundaries,internet guidelines,protecting children,parenting,internet http://pfl.org/article/understanding-grief-when-a-child-dies Fri, 11 Apr 2008 02:29:00 +0000 Reprinted in part from "Compassionate Friends", Copyright 1980, the death of a child has unique stresses that impact the remaining family members. Guilt, grief, depression, and strained relationships are not unusual. This handout is... Compiled by Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Compiled by Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC grief,loss,death of a child,death of a loved one,losing a spouse,surviving a loss,suffering,pain,helping,ministering comfort http://pfl.org/article/donts-for-parents-and-enablers Fri, 11 Apr 2008 02:15:51 +0000 There is tremendous difficulty for parents or spouses when their child or spouse becomes involved in the abuse of drugs, alcohol or addiction of any sort. This handout outlines how to clarify who is responsible for what and provides practical steps in... Compiled by Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Compiled by Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC addiction,boundaries,recovery,confrontation,sobriety,alcohol abuse,drug abuse http://pfl.org/article/coping-with-holiday-grief Fri, 11 Apr 2008 01:55:05 +0000 Adapted from "Ten Ways To Cope With Holiday Grief" by L.B. Schultz, this handout provides information that is both practical and helpful for anyone who experiences renewed grief during the holiday seasons. Grief knows no time frame. Because... Compiled by Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Compiled by Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC grief,holiday grief,coping,loss,phases of grief,sadness,anger,guilt,fear http://pfl.org/article/making-your-way-through-transition Thu, 10 Apr 2008 16:20:08 +0000 This article describes the challenges we face when going through difficult life changes. It also gives a way of navigating through that difficult time. Spring 2008 Volume 15, Issue 2 Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC confusion,wandering,faithfulness,trusting,restore,heal,peace,purpose http://pfl.org/article/using-mindfulness-to-keep-relationships-healthy Wed, 09 Apr 2008 13:11:40 +0000 Insights and tips are provided on how use mindfulness to be attentive to others feelings, as well as your own, in everyday experiences, to help strengthen your relationship. Spring 2008 Volume 15, Issue 2 mindfulness,techniques,tips,avoiding judgment,anger,conflict,relationship help,attentiveness,feelings http://pfl.org/article/prayers-for-gods-protection Wed, 09 Apr 2008 18:19:17 +0000 Fearful situations can leave us feeling vulnerable. Article outlines a specific format of prayers to use when we need God's protection. Spring 2008 Volume 15, Issue 2 Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT protection,security,safety,vulnerability,prayer,fear,afraid,god's word,scripture,angels,heavenly hosts,guard,direct,god's will,stress,distress,freedom,heaven,anxiety,meditation http://pfl.org/article/ten-ways-to-train-up-a-child Tue, 08 Apr 2008 04:59:37 +0000 Parenting is hard. Raising children in today's world is a juggling act for most people when trying to do a good job of applying God’s word."Ten Ways…"gives a real map of behavior for parents to follow as they seek to be a good... Spring 2008 Volume 15, Issue 2 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC challenges,godly,overload,rules,name-calling,goals,families,know your hotspots,hotspots,follow through,free http://pfl.org/article/affliction-and-fear Tue, 08 Apr 2008 15:56:30 +0000 The healing process for each one of us requires ownership within ourselves of the behaviors and attitudes that often create our own daily battles. What has been discovered is that fear is often behind those patterns of thinking and acting. Scripture... Spring 2008 Volume 15, Issue 2 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC fear,selfishness,self-centeredness,affliction,battles,suffering,healing,recovery,prayer http://pfl.org/article/my-child-wont-go-to-school Sat, 05 Apr 2008 01:18:26 +0000 School phobia, a severe stress response toward school is a very perplexing condition. Suddenly a child simply will not go to school and becomes unusually forceful in their not wanting to go into the school routine. Unusual crying, sitting down, not... Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC severe stress response,success,encouraging,physician,psychiatrist,sensitive children,therapist,safety,comfort,school psychologist,administrators,school personnel,school,events,daily functioning,counseling,home,afraid,stress http://pfl.org/article/words-when-it-matters Sun, 02 Mar 2008 14:10:20 +0000 Our hearts go out to those who have just experienced loss. What can we say to them? This article explains the importance of words to the grieving person and gives five great ideas of what is helpful to share. Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC love,expression of love,writing,expression,letter,note,friend,healing,heart,touched,murder,overwhelmed,shocked,loss,grief,death,life,sorrowing,comfort,expression of comfort,loss http://pfl.org/article/family-and-self-care-after-divorce Sat, 01 Mar 2008 15:00:24 +0000 A look at the effects of divorce on adults and children and how to cope. This includes five very straightforward supportive directions for the adult raising kids after the divorce. Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC divorces,shame,positive,supportive,adult responsibility,courage,special care,future,feelings,fault,luxury,failure,success,influence,outsider,pain,blessing,pressure,prayer http://pfl.org/article/forgiveness-in-the-new-year Thu, 28 Feb 2008 13:12:29 +0000 The process of forgiveness, tips on inviting Jesus into the journey of forgiveness, as well as the forgiveness of self and others are discussed in this article. Winter 2008 Volume 15, Issue 1 forgiveness,justice,healing,peace,healing,emotions,love http://pfl.org/article/how-to-move-ahead-after-personal-pain Tue, 26 Feb 2008 15:36:06 +0000 The story you tell yourself and others of your difficult situation is important. It is important because the potential for going on in a capable manner after personal pain can be determined by how we frame the experience. Though it is important to... Winter 2008 Volume 15, Issue 1 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC outcome,surviving,honesty,hope,pessimism,optimism,despair http://pfl.org/article/surrender Tue, 26 Feb 2008 15:35:26 +0000 Surrender is a process in which we accept the way things are. Winter 2008 Volume 15, Issue 1 Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC redeeming,new,flesh,release,letting go,accept,serenity http://pfl.org/article/helping-the-discouraged Tue, 26 Feb 2008 18:24:48 +0000 Discouragement can leave us frightened and unmotivated with feelings of loneliness and hopelessness. Drawing from the biblical story of Elijah and an actual family therapy case, this article discusses five steps to helping an individual recover from... Winter 2008 Volume 15, Issue 1 Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT solution,compassion,voice,behavior,emotions,strength,feelings,powerless,powerful,god's presence,judgement,validate,listen,love,challenge,timing,hope,encouragement,nurturence,empathy,care,touch,elijah,loneliness,fear,discouragement http://pfl.org/article/replenishing-on-busy-days Sat, 23 Feb 2008 13:15:05 +0000 All of us lose track of doing the basics things we need to do in order to stay "in a good place" physically, emotionally and spiritually. Holiday times and special occasions are times we feel especially stressed. Listed in this article are... Christmas 2007 Volume 14, Issue 4 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC renew the spirit,replenish,restore,depression,anxiety,depleted,stress http://pfl.org/article/trauma-happens-to-competent-healthy-people Sat, 23 Feb 2008 16:45:21 +0000 Trauma causes a reaction in people. That reaction is physical because the brain is signaling the body to do something. This is true with natural disasters like floods and tornadoes as well as fighting or past trauma in relationships. What this... Spring 2007 Volume 14, Issue 1 Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC trauma,marriage,relationship,brain functioning,brain,reactive,reaction,body reaction,warning,signals,normal,fighting,hyper,vigilant http://pfl.org/article/lack-of-progress-in-counseling Thu, 21 Feb 2008 19:17:12 +0000 A "Dear Rosa" question and answer regarding concern about receiving help, the resistance involved and setting goals. Dear Rosa dear rosa,counseling,setting goals,receiving help http://pfl.org/article/depression-at-christmas Thu, 21 Feb 2008 19:16:23 +0000 A "Dear Rosa" question and answer regarding depression that is often triggered during the Christmas season. Dear Rosa http://pfl.org/article/grieving-another-divorce Thu, 21 Feb 2008 19:15:05 +0000 A "Dear Rosa" question and answer expressing the anger and hurt one can feel during a divorce in the face of some Christians Dear Rosa grief,angry,divorce,dear rosa http://pfl.org/article/an-affair-the-anguish-of-betrayal Thu, 21 Feb 2008 19:11:45 +0000 A "Dear Rosa" question and answer about surviving the discovery of an affair by ones spouse Dear Rosa dear rosa,affair,betrayal http://pfl.org/article/addictive-patterns-and-relationships Thu, 21 Feb 2008 19:09:23 +0000 A "Dear Rosa" question and answer regarding the process of breaking free from addictive patterns in relationships Dear Rosa dear rosa,addictive relationships,patterns of behavior,recovery http://pfl.org/article/taking-care-of-yourself-over-holidays-after-a-loss Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:08:39 +0000 After the death of a loved one, various holidays are difficult, especially Christmas. Here are specific ideas for moving through any holiday with gentleness toward yourself and your situation. Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC plan,comfort,play,expectations,coping,sorrow,joy,cards,grief,family members grief,children,feelings,choices,loved ones,death http://pfl.org/article/martha-and-phil Sun, 03 Feb 2008 16:09:39 +0000 Martha and Phil are like many couples who feel confused as to why their relationship is not better than it is. Read on as you discover some core shifts in behavior and thought that will help increase their ability to relate intimately and honestly. Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC Lynda Savage, M.S., LMFT, LPC communication,honesty,asking for what you need,needs,wants,core beliefs,assumptions,conflict http://pfl.org/article/signs-of-unhealthy-boundaries Tue, 15 Jan 2008 16:24:31 +0000 Check list of some signs of unhealthy boundaries boundaries http://pfl.org/article/taking-out-the-trash-preparation-for-the-holidays Tue, 15 Jan 2008 18:47:22 +0000 Share many blessings with family members instead of strife during the holiday season Cheryl Chapin, M.S. Cheryl Chapin, M.S. holidays,family,conflict http://pfl.org/article/memories-our-past-our-present-and-our-future Tue, 15 Jan 2008 18:41:24 +0000 Memories present a consistent history to what yiou decide is true of you Daniel Lange, M.S.W., LCSW Daniel Lange, M.S.W., LCSW memories,family,self-image http://pfl.org/article/is-my-husband-in-male-menopause Tue, 15 Jan 2008 18:33:52 +0000 Male menopause is similar to menopause in women Daniel Lange, M.S.W., LCSW Daniel Lange, M.S.W., LCSW male menopause,anxiety,fear,depression,sexuality http://pfl.org/article/hes-got-your-back Tue, 15 Jan 2008 18:27:48 +0000 The Lord goes ahead of us and protects us from behind Linda Hillary, MSE, NCC Linda Hillary, MSE, NCC healing,protection http://pfl.org/article/acknowledging-open-adoption Tue, 15 Jan 2008 18:12:13 +0000 The benefits of open adoption Daniel Lange, M.S.W., LCSW Daniel Lange, M.S.W., LCSW adoption,grief,loss,identity http://pfl.org/article/the-third-step-in-the-reconciliation-process Thu, 10 Jan 2008 17:30:37 +0000 This article describes the five steps in the process of reconciliation and focuses in detail on the third step. Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC hurt,anger,offended,reconciliation,repair,injured,forgive http://pfl.org/article/teens-and-anger Thu, 10 Jan 2008 17:23:47 +0000 This article describes how easy it is for parents and teens to get into highly charged arguments and what important points to remember in order to resolve the battle. Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC angry,resentment,confusing,signal,understand,listening,feelings http://pfl.org/article/roadblocks-to-joy Thu, 10 Jan 2008 17:15:27 +0000 This article explores four roadblocks to joy. Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC joy,spirit,happiness,growth,lonely,isolation,inventory,need,compartmentalize,belong,exhausted,weary,rest http://pfl.org/article/overexposure-to-traumatic-events Thu, 10 Jan 2008 17:07:40 +0000 This article describes the cost involved when people's hearts are overexposed to traumatic experiences. Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC evil,devastation,fragility,overexposure,seduce,violence,extreme,addictions,trust,control http://pfl.org/article/when-the-messiah-came Mon, 07 Jan 2008 15:46:44 +0000 This article takes a personal look at the author's first encounter with the reality of God and provides helps in remembering one's own history of attachment with God. Christmas 2007 Volume 14, Issue 4 Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC Brenda Spina, M.S., LMFT, LPC connection,spirituality,loving god,touching god,attachment relationship,christmas,messiah http://pfl.org/article/five-strategies-for-encouraging-teens-to-grow-beyond-childhood Tue, 11 Dec 2007 00:26:02 +0000 This article addresses five strategies for encouraging teenagers to grow beyond their childhood behaviors and expectations. Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC yelling,coaxing,reminding,disrespect,incapable,tasks,responsibility,resistance,effort,expectations http://pfl.org/article/neglect-the-obtuse-abuse Tue, 11 Dec 2007 16:20:58 +0000 This article explores the abuse of neglect and the confusion that often accompanies it. Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC neglect,ignored,dismissed,discounted,mirror,reflect,preoccupied,confused,lonely,loners,connections,tender,suffered,cares http://pfl.org/article/what-happens-when-we-measure-ourselves-with-each-other Tue, 11 Dec 2007 15:42:04 +0000 This article looks at the phrase "It's not fair!" when people measure themselves with others and what the outcome is for the individual and relationship. Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC rate,angry,resentful,bitterness,attachment,bonding,fondness,admiration,connection,togetherness,exhausted,commitment http://pfl.org/article/life-transitions Thu, 06 Dec 2007 19:22:00 +0000 This article explores the task adolescents and their families face when leaving home. It describes the delicate balance between support and autonomy parents must give their emerging adult. Fall 2007 Volume 14, Issue 3 Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC transition,launching,loss,growth,change,resistance,autonomy,struggle,pain,good-bye,close http://pfl.org/article/accepting-our-weaknesses Thu, 06 Dec 2007 16:15:41 +0000 This article focuses on the biblical view of our weaknesses. Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC limitations,gift,weaknesses,vulnerabilities,guilt,angry,self-acceptance,humility,surrender,grace,inadequate,transform,strength http://pfl.org/article/healing-at-christmas Thu, 29 Nov 2007 15:45:41 +0000 This article describes the decisions we all have when entering the holidays. We can choose to stop "the war" in our relationships, to enter a time of peace. Christmas 2007 Volume 14, Issue 4 Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC Suzan Myhre, M.S.S.W., LICSW, LPC christmas,stress,depression,boundaries,healing http://pfl.org/article/a-true-joy-filled-christmas Tue, 27 Nov 2007 18:30:25 +0000 Stress and high expectations of the modern Christmas season are in sharp contrast to the First Christmas Christmas 2007 Volume 14, Issue 4 Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW Christine Vander Wielen, M.S.W., LCSW christmas,stress http://pfl.org/article/advent-traditions Tue, 27 Nov 2007 16:22:21 +0000 This article provides many ideas to help you and your family celebrate Advent - with special ways to prepare your hearts and minds for the coming of the Christmas season. Christmas 2007 Volume 14, Issue 4 advent,christmas,celebrate,tips,ideas,traditions,family,relationships http://pfl.org/article/when-bereavement-and-holidays-walk-together Sat, 17 Nov 2007 15:21:59 +0000 Roles and traditions between family members, especially during the holidays, can be altered when a loved one dies. Article brings tips on coping with this sensitive family issue. Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT relationships,family,holidays,christmas,bereavement,roles,traditions,rituals,death,comfort,grief and loss http://pfl.org/article/lord-emmanuel Sat, 17 Nov 2007 00:47:42 +0000 Article describes in poetic form how God will dwell with us ande not forsake us in uncertain or tragic times. Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT christmas,advent,change,transition,anxiety,depression,stress,conflict,challenging events,god's healing touch,companionship,stability,consistency,hopes,fears,worry,eternity,encouragement http://pfl.org/article/daring-to-laugh-when-celebration-and-sadness-join-hands Sat, 17 Nov 2007 21:22:01 +0000 Pain and joy often occur together in life. Learn how God's faithfulness, sovereignty, and hope can be found in the midst of brokenness, failure, or other difficult circumstances. Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT grief and loss,stress,anxiety,struggles,hope,hopelessness,sin,repentance,brokenness,pain,joy,failure,bereavement,encouragement,difficult circumstances,healing http://pfl.org/article/a-christmas-sabbath Sat, 17 Nov 2007 21:04:13 +0000 Describes how behaviors and a mindset of peace and rest can bring us closer to God in the Christmas season Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT stress,anxiety,peace,rest,sabbath,fear,christmas,hope,comfort